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Topic: I don't wanna die, alone

ellanoize
Senior Hostboard Member

Member Rated:

posted May 01, 2008 05:28 PM

It has been over two years since my divorce, and the other night I met up with an old friend, after several hours of conversation, we unexpectedly ended up in a embrace and kiss.
Until that moment, I can't explain how much I had missed the intimacy of being with someone. It wasn't a sexual encounter, but just the warmth of her body, the taste of her kiss, the conversations, the laughter, felt so natural.
I was so hurt by my ex, that I have had an issue with trust and the fear of getting hurt, but now I realize that I'm the one who is losing out because of the stupid fear.
I have a love to share, And I want to be with someone again. I don't want to be alone anymore...I guess my soul is healing, because it is starting to hurt like hell right now.

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American Knight

Posts: 10009 | From: beanfield | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged | Problem w/ Post?

home girl
Senior Hostboard Member

posted May 02, 2008 12:17 PM

Yes baby it's time i think the woman who gets you will truly be blessed so go for it you deserve happiness.

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janet

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cherrysmum
Senior Hostboard Member

Member Rated:

posted May 02, 2008 03:41 PM

no one wants to be alone...I'm glad you found somebody..feeling kind of "thorny" are ya???

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RETIRED AND LOVING IT

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ellanoize
Senior Hostboard Member

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posted May 02, 2008 04:29 PM

Unfortunatly nothing will come from our few moments of intamacy, and like I said it wasn't a sexual encounter, it just reminded me of how much I enjoy companionship.
I miss stupid little things, I miss holding hands, I miss the warmth of someone elses body against me on the couch as a movie plays, and the feel of someones arm wrapped around me and the feeling of being kissed, I think I miss that more than anything else.
I'm not in love now and It will be difficult to fall in love again, but inside that is what I'm looking for, not the momentery sexual release. That is for the kids. I want something more

Posts: 10009 | From: beanfield | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged | Problem w/ Post?

mRs.GaToR
Senior Hostboard Member

posted May 02, 2008 09:42 PM

I am so happy to hear you have those feelings
inside again Roger...YOU deserve so much..you
are such a kind, caring, sweet loveable person!
And isnt it a great feeling just to know you can
feel again?? I know personally it took me a long
time even though I have always had Dylon by my
side...I had to learn to love myself before I
could truly feel again and when I got to that
point, I felt so much better about everything in
life!

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¤Shelley¤
Senior Hostboard Member

posted May 03, 2008 12:10 AM

I truly hope you find that special someone

*HUGGGGS*

Posts: 18518 | From: My own little world | Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged | Problem w/ Post?

Rogue Angel
Senior Hostboard Member

Member Rated:

posted May 06, 2008 12:36 PM

i wish i'd found this sooner...s*

i SO know how you feel right now, rog.... i'm right there with you... it's been a long time for me... a LONG time.... since i've even wanted to get that close to someone... but lately i have felt the same... for a while being alone feels good.... because it lets the pain fade away... but once you get over THAT hurt, then the other hurt starts, the one you're talking about... that healing.... it's a good kind of pain, but at the same time, it lets you feel that solitude.... that wish for a hug when you want it... all the little things you mentioned... they aren't stupid at all... they're all part of being loved and accepted.... and feeling like you're a part of something special....

we'll both find someone again....

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Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
~Elbert Hubbard~

Angel's Haven

MyfknSpace

Posts: 8161 | From: Insanity Island | Registered: Jan 2006 | IP: Logged | Problem w/ Post?

cherrysmum
Senior Hostboard Member

Member Rated:

posted May 14, 2008 10:39 AM

so glad to see you so well grounded Rog..I believe most folks who have experienced the loss of a loved one misses just what you describe. Pethead used to tell me "You are just as beautiful now as the day I married you"...or he'd say something like "I'm so proud you are mine"...but what I miss the most is just the simple "I love you?..

Posts: 6075 | From: burnsville | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged | Problem w/ Post?

ellanoize
Senior Hostboard Member

Member Rated:

posted June 01, 2008 05:53 PM

Right now I am really enjoying the friendship & comraderie of my lady friend. I am not in love right now but it feels good to have a close friend to talk to and she has been in a bad relationship so we have something in common.

I think the major thing is that I am now back to being the roger that I was years ago, I am so much happier and feel so much better about myself.

I want to thank everyone for thier support and good thoughts, I have some wonderful friends and I treasure each one of you.
rog

Posts: 10009 | From: beanfield | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged | Problem w/ Post?

gus danger
Senior Hostboard Member

posted June 08, 2008 03:09 PM

quote:
Originally posted by ellanoize:
I have some wonderful friends and I treasure each one of you.

The feeling is mutual Rog!
[Thumbs up]

Gus

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Live long and prosper!

Posts: 8340 | From: West of the Pecos | Registered: May 2001 | IP: Logged | Problem w/ Post?

EvolutionHasBegun
Senior Hostboard Member

posted June 08, 2008 04:34 PM

love is a creation of the imagination...a mere figment.. a word created to describe lust and mask our collective fear of dying alone...

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"You may bring the thunder, but I bring the whole damn hurricane."

Posts: 28651 | From: The Empire | Registered: Feb 2003 | IP: Logged | Problem w/ Post?

cherrysmum
Senior Hostboard Member

Member Rated:

posted June 15, 2008 08:55 PM

not me....love is a sharing of two souls..lust on the other hand ain't bad either...and we all die alone...

Posts: 6075 | From: burnsville | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged | Problem w/ Post?

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