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Thread: (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two

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    (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two

    Part one can be found here.

    Fuko: Awgh!! No!!
    Hitomi: Surrend, or I'll leave you with no boobs!
    Fuko felt real anguish, flinching, hurt with each blow. She was surprised to find that her bigger knockers were now ineffective against Hitomi's ones. She was also unable to attack: She knew that delivering frontal tit-blows would only tire and hurt her even more, and Hitomi was way faster, so she could not counter with a swing of her own. Desperated, she began to struggle. Hitomi resisted, but that made her stop, and at that very moment, Fuko regained the composure and used her raw physical power to push Hitomi against a wall. Pressing her body against the skinny one's, the chubby girl held her by the wrists and compressed their hangers tightly.
    Hitomi: Wagh!!
    Fuko: Now you're going to learn why nobody titfights me!
    Fuko delivered various breast-strikes to her rival, who was barely able to react. Hitomi tried to move laterally, but she barely had room for a swing, and with her hands lifted against the wall, she was unable to do any strength. A tit-blow from Fuko, and Hitomi screamed. Fuko delivered another blow against Hitomi's right boob, and they felt an enormous pressure, like if they were going to explode, raising at chest height.
    Fuko: Now the tiny one...
    Hitomi: No no no!
    But Fuko did not stop and she slammed her enormous right tit into Hitomi's smaller left one. Hitomi writhed in pain, right about to shed some tears each time Fuko's right nipple squashed violently her own left nipple.
    Hitomi: AAGH! Let me go!
    Fuko smiled maliciously and delivered another strong blow right tit-to-left tit, but she turned too much to the right, and Hitomi released her right hand, which she used to shove Fuko backwards. Both struggled, with their sweaty skins shining, but even when they were sweating, Hitomi was not so tired as Fuko, and she puts the later against the wall now, holding her hands up against the wall too. One more time, her firmer breasts maul Fuko's ones, who began to writhe and scream like when she tortured her rival's left tit. Fuko struggled trying to take her rival off, but now Hitomi is stronger. Their sweaty tits throw sweat drops in every direction with each smack again.

    Fuko: AAAH! Stop! Stop!!
    Hitomi: Now I understand it. For a while, you REALLY made me think your tits are better than mine.
    Fuko: NNGH! THEY'RE better!!
    Hitomi: Nah... *Another tit-to-tit blow* It's just that, in the bearhug, your size made you apply more pressure, and that's why I thought I had no chance...
    Fuko: AWGH! Bitch!
    Hitomi: But your titfight style is from side-to-side, you only attack frontally your rival when she can't do more pressure than you. *And another excruciating tit-to-tit blow*. So I'm not the only one of us who's done this before...
    As Hitomi talked with security and confidence, Fuko turned her head side to side, unable to bear the pain. Another frontal tit-blow, and she felt Hitomi's tits like if they were two punches sticking into her own. But pain accentuated her perception, and she knew that while Hitomi were talking, sooner or later she would unfocus.
    Hitomi: ...and that's why I'll crown myself the boob empress of Japan, using what's left from your...
    Hitomi delivered tit-blows even when she was talking, and then Fuko knew when she was unfocusing. *NOW!* she thought.
    Hitomi: ... tits as a crow-WAAAH!
    Fuko did not even bothered into releasing herself, she just pushed her whole body against Hitomi, groaning due the effort. Hitomi wanted to react, but that surprised her, and Fuko managed to throw her on the bed, with herself over her, tit-to-tit. Both struggled, but Fuko used her weight as an advantage and held her rival by the wrists again. Now she was rubbing her boobs on her rival's ones, which, even when it was a valid attack, was kind of comical. They felt their pubic mounds getting together again, and this time, they were burning even more than before, like if rubbing them together would be the only way to make them feel better.
    Fuko: Don't even think it twice, now your tits are where they belong: Right under mine!
    That was too humiliating for Hitomi. She got mad, and holding her rival in a body scissors hold, she got her off and threw her to a side of the bed, releasing herself instantly. Both crawled on the bed until getting on their knees for facing each other. Fuko threw another lateral swing, landing loudly against Hitomi's tits. The later flinched, and Fuko rushed so she could strike again, but Hitomi catapulted herself and clashed frontally both her tits and chest against her rival's ones, who groaned in pain. Holding each other by the forearms, they began to titfight again. This time it seemed that the score was even, Hitomi was able to launch various frontal tit-blows nipple-to-nipple, but Fuko could also move her and gain some space for her lateral boob-swings, which made their nipples to contact too.

    Both girls moaned in pain and growled intimidatingly like animals, while they attacked each other, each time more and more violently. The whole room was now hot due the combat, and both girl's tits were already coloured with an intense red. Suddenly, grabbing hold of Fuko's wrists, Hitomi stretched out her arms so that both their arms were stretched out making their chests press hard against each other. Now Hitomi struck a powerful nipple-to-nipple tit-blow that penetrated deep inside Fuko's boobs, turning both girl's enormous breasts expanded due the pressure. Unable to resist the penetration of Hitomi's fully expanded boobs, Fuko screamed as her boobs collapsed beneath the pressure of Hitomi's penetrating boobs. She fell backwards screaming... The giantess had fell on the bed, and maybe she would be unable to get up. Hitomi contemplated her in disgust, hoping she would be back.
    Hitomi: Come on, get up!
    There was no answer. Fuko tried to get on all fours, but her limbs failed and she fell again.
    Hitomi: I said get up!
    This time she did not even bothered. She just stared at Hitomi, expectantly, with hate, as her sweat soaked the sheets.
    Hitomi: In that case... I WIN! I'm the empress of boobs!
    Fuko: ...
    Hitomi: You know what that means, right?
    Fuko: ... Stop it.
    Hitomi: Every empress needs a bitch!
    Fuko crawled, trying to flee from the bed, but Hitomi quickly grabbed her by the hips and dragged her, joining their clits together. Hitomi began to bump her hips and rub her pussy with Fuko's one. The later felt humbled and unable to counter.
    Hitomi: Come and give a good service to your mistress!
    Hitomi held Fuko by the waist and lifted her until both were sat facing each other, with their legs entwined, their hips bent for approaching their clits together. Holding her chin, Hitomi kissed Fuko wetly... Just this time, Fuko did the same for her, tangling their tongues. It was not like she were acting submissively, just that she wanted to heal her wounded pride making her rival cum first in a competitive tribadism duel. They handled each other's sweaty udders, while their saliva fell on them, but soon they released their breast and hugged each other, as Fuko began to bump her hips too. In fact, they did not need their hands: Their tits were so big, just hugging was enough for getting them together, and rub their nipples with each move, which made them feel shockwaves coming from their chests, the feeling from their lower abdomens became more intense, and their tongues kept them in trance. Like if they were united by telekinesis, both fell backwards, holding each other with their right arms, and their backs completely bent, it was the classic scissoring: Now they just not only rubbed their clits, but also the labia, which accelerated the orgasm process.

    Fuko: Ah... Ahh... Aaahh... AAAHH!
    Hitomi: Yes! Yesss! Almost-!
    Fuko: AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!
    Hitomi got her pussy away from Fuko's ones and both fell on their backs: Fuko came first.
    Hitomi: Yes! I won! I'm the boob empress and you're my bitch!
    But Fuko was not going to let that end there. Sex actually recharged her: Grabbing Hitomi's hips, she joined their clits together again, and kept rubbing, despite her own orgasms.
    Hitomi: Wha-What!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
    Fuko: Mmmmpppph! MMMPH!
    Fuko tried to shout her own moans, struggling, not wanting Hitomi to escape. The later struggled, but Fuko was not letting her escape; She tried to flee the bed crawling, with her rival still hooked to her... But she only made them fell down to the floor. Fuko quickly mounted Hitomi symmetrically, and kept rubbing their pussies, while her own boobs hung over Hitomi's ones, stimulating their nipples. Then... Hitomi finally came too. But Fuko did not stop, and she gave her rival more orgasms, until she was unable to keep it. She collapsed and half fell on her, right tit against right tit. Both breathed heavily, still in ecstasies. They hugged their sweaty bodies and had another french kiss.
    Fuko: So... Shall the second round begin?
    Hitomi: WHAT!!!?

    THE END.

    fuko & hitomi in bed.jpg
    Yeah, I'm also including another of my crappy shoops.

    P.S.: Special thanks to users Deepogre, Gradius and Eisenhower for giving me some guidance.
    Last edited by Morbius_MSNJ; February 22nd, 2012 at 11:03 PM.

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    Re: (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two

    Good job! An Impressive and realistic narrative. Although not agreeing with your conclusions (especially concerning their respective sizes), I admire what you have done. Given their intense and bitter rivalry, I think that their initial encounter would be more furious and electric than you have described. But perhaps that will happen in the second round. More to the point, given the intensity of their rivalry and Fuko's bitter disappointment and public humiliation over having been replaced by Hitomi as Japan's boob goddess, there would be nothing left for small talk or comedy between them. I would anticipate only intense thrusting by both until one of them broke. Concerning our disagreement over their respective sizes, I mention that there have been changes over the past 3 years - Fuko has slimmed down while Hitomi has gotten bigger. There never was 20 centimeters separating them in size and certainly not today. If an encounter occurred today, I believe that Fuko might feel some trepidation over the size of Hitomi's boobs with respect to her own.
    Last edited by Eisenhower; February 22nd, 2012 at 11:16 AM.

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    Re: (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two

    [QUOTE=Morbius_MSNJ;1833853]Part one can be found here.

    " Suddenly, Hitomi opened in cross-shape Fuko's arms, and delivered a so powerful nipple-to-nipple tit-blow, that pressed their boobs together too hard, turning them round due the pressure. After the impact, Fuko fell backwards screaming... The giantess had fell over the bed, and maybe she would be unable to get up. Hitomi contemplated her in disgust, hoping she would be back."

    This is a critical part of your narrative and it is unclear what is meant. What does "cross-shape Fuko's arms" mean? Perhaps just say she raised Fuko's arms above her head. "A so powerful" should be abbreviated to just "a powerful." "That pressed their boobs together too hard" is not descriptive enough of what is a defining moment. Perhaps you might say "crushed their boobs together" and add some further description indicating that Hitomi had now penetrated Fuko's boobs. "Turning them round due the pressure" is unclear and is not a sufficient description of what is happening at this critical moment. Who is "them"? Fuko's boobs? Then say Fuko's boobs and describe what is happening to Fuko's boobs to the reader. "The giantess" is a disrespectful term that I wished you had not used. I know that this goes to our disagreement over their respectful sizes but Fuko is no giantess compared to Hitomi. Besides, you have made her suffer too much to be labeled a "giantess." You have Fuko falling "over the bed" which makes no sense when you have her subequently trying to flee "from" the bed. I think you mean that she fell "on" the bed. More description at this point would also help the reader to understand what is happening.

    I have reread your narrative several times and find it to be more compelling each time I read it. Good job!






    [
    Last edited by Eisenhower; February 22nd, 2012 at 06:24 PM.

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    Re: (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two

    Quote Originally Posted by Eisenhower View Post
    Concerning our disagreement over their respective sizes, I mention that there have been changes over the past 3 years - Fuko has slimmed down while Hitomi has gotten bigger. There never was 20 centimeters separating them in size and certainly not today. If an encounter occurred today, I believe that Fuko might feel some trepidation over the size of Hitomi's boobs with respect to her own.
    Maybe it is just how I see Fuko. She still seems bigger to me, and well, I don't see how could she have loss weight: All I've read about her is that "she must drops donuts". One way or another, I think they would not underestimate each other's attributes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eisenhower View Post
    This is a critical part of your narrative and it is unclear what is meant. What does "cross-shape Fuko's arms" mean?
    Well, maybe I did some mistakes when I translated the story from my native language to english. I was depicting the act of placing someone's arms like if he/she were being crucified. If you can provide me a better way to depict somebody opening another person's arms in that shape, I would appreciate, as my english is starting to rust.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eisenhower View Post
    Perhaps just say she raised Fuko's arms above her head. "A so powerful" should be abbreviated to just "a powerful." "That pressed their boobs together too hard" is not descriptive enough of what is a defining moment. Perhaps you might say "crushed their boobs together" and add some further description indicating that Hitomi had now penetrated Fuko's boobs.
    I admit that I could've been more descriptive... Next time posting another story, I will review it when I'm not feeling drowsy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eisenhower View Post
    "Turning them round due the pressure" is unclear and is not a sufficient description of what is happening at this critical moment. Who is "them"? Fuko's boobs? Then say Fuko's boobs and describe what is happening to Fuko's boobs to the reader.
    What I was really wanting to say is that, because of the impact, both girl's boobs pressed so hard together, that they turned into round shape, like when they press them with hands.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eisenhower View Post
    "The giantess" is a disrespectful term that I wished you had not used. I know that this goes to our disagreement over their respectful sizes but Fuko is no giantess compared to Hitomi. Besides, you have made her suffer too much to be labeled a "giantess."
    Still, it denotes Fuko as the match Hitomi has to beat to become Japan's unquestionable best boobs.

    Thank you for your words, I'm really grateful for your review.

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    Re: (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two

    Consider this language for your crucial paragraph in question:

    "Suddenly, grabbing hold of Fuko's wrists, Hitomi stretched out her arms so that both their arms were stretched out making their chests press hard against each other. Now Hitomi struck a powerful nipple-to-nipple tit blow that penetrated deep inside Fuko's boobs. Unable to resist the penetration of Hitomi's fully expanded boobs, Fuko screamed as her boobs collapsed beneath the pressure of Hitomi's penetrating boobs. Screaming, she feel back on the bed as she cradled her crushed boobs."

    I will try to attach some pics that I think represent Fuko's condition as she lay on the bed cradling her crushed boobs.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by Eisenhower; February 22nd, 2012 at 09:23 PM.

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    Re: (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two

    Quote Originally Posted by Eisenhower View Post
    Consider this language for your crucial paragraph in question:
    Thank you for your guidance. Hope you don't mind I used most of the paragraph you wrote for the edit. But please, don't re-write the story again, or I will end enjoying more your narrative than mine and change most of the story! xD

    Well, I think this is it. The story is completely finished. I just hope other users enjoy it...

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    Re: (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two

    I appreciate your acceptance of my suggested revisions. In the critical paragraph, you have still retained the phrase "turning both girls' enormities round due the pressure." Instead of "enormities" which is not a word in English, I woud say "boobs" or "enormous boobs." I don't see how both their boobs could be "rounded" at this critical point when Hitomi's boobs are penetrating Fuko's boobs. Certainly, Fuko's boobs would not appear rounded at this point. Perhaps you should consider eliminating the phrase altogether. Also, see my comment #3 about the misuse of the preposition "over" when I think you mean "on." You did not use my phrase about Fuko cradling her crushed boobs which I think would be evocative of her condition. So I will attach 2 more photos for your consideration.
    Last edited by Eisenhower; February 22nd, 2012 at 11:00 PM.

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    Re: (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two

    I have corrected the on/over subject, and changed "enormities" for "enormous breasts". Also, I've changed "round" for "expanded" too.

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    Re: (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two

    I know you asked for no more revisions but at the risk of your displeasure I will propose these changes to the critical paragraph that I believe will explain better explain what you have in mind.

    "Suddenly, grabbing hold of Fuko's wrists, Hitomi stretched out her arms so that both their arms were stretched out making their chests press hard against each other as their enormous boobs expanded to their full measure. Now Hitomi delivered a powerful nipple-to-nipple tit blow that penetrated Fuko's boobs. Fuko opened wide her mouth in pain and disbelief as she felt the penetration of Hitomi's firmer boobs. Covered now in sweat, Fuko arched her back and flexed her thighs in a desperate attempt to withstand the penetration of Hitomi's firmer and now bigger boobs. Hitomi began to grind her enormous boobs deep inside Fuko's boobs. Unable to resist the force of Hitomi's firmer boobs, Fuko screamed as her boobs collapsed in submission to Hitomi's enormous boobs that were now deep inside her body. Releasing her hold on Fuko's wrists, Hitomi watched in a mixture of glee and disgust as Fuko collapsed face down on the bed."
    Last edited by Eisenhower; February 23rd, 2012 at 01:00 PM.

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    Re: (Titfight) Fuko vs Hitomi Tanaka, part two


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    simply stunning...
    i wish i could see those ladies together...

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