Really good story. As I said in my last post, the story definitely has grammar/writing problems, but it is a testament to your talent that you still manage to make it erotic and exciting. If you don't object, with your permission, I may rewrite the last two chapters and kind of clean them up. I won't change much, just use your story and fix some of the grammatical problems. If you are alright with that, let me know. It may help to give you an idea of where to work on your writing.