Psychology of Losing

[Superson7c]

I am not a writer of this text, but want to share this in this forum.

This text is also true in sexfight context.


source - Forum


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psychology of losing
Author: Bud
Date: 25-10-2012, 20:34


I was thinking about the thoughts and emotions the loser of a fight is confronted with, both toward the end of the fight, in the moments after, and even in the days after. The frustration of losing is SO bad (at least in my experience)... pretty much impossible to take, especially if winner really dominated or was cruel.

Guys, what have your personal experiences been? Girls... how bad do you want the loser's frustration to be (at all stages -- finish of the fight, immediate aftermath, and days later)?

Details, details...


Re: psychology of losing
Author: Bull
Date: 30-10-2012, 14:07


Part one (pre-typed and pasted in sections because of post length limitations)

I cannot answer from experience, as I had never been in a physical fight in my life and therefore neither had lost or won. This is a fascinating topic however, and with a few childhood observations and study of the internet I think I have an answer. Do not take my word for it as I am not a trained psychologist.

Indeed, why is losing a physical fight unbearable as opposed to say, losing a verbal argument? Even where your victor just overpowered you and not went further as described below. Why do people love to watch fights which are in general regarded as an undesirable social phenomenon? Why is the winner often egged on to hurt and humiliate a loser that has clearly no chance anymore and why are the instigators often women? Why do winners, who may be good souls normally, become highly arrogant and will celebrate their victories by poses, yells, etc? Why may they continue to injure and humiliate the loser while the objective has been reached – to win, when the loser may even be in danger?

I will start with what I know to answer your immediate question and add some more deliberations.

At the start of the fight the body needs to prepare itself hormonally with a surge in stress hormones like adrenaline but also testosterone – the male hormone that gives us courage, amongst others to fight for our survival, and to persue women and make us “horny”. People with a lot of testosterone are in general more dominant. Fighters in preparation, whether normally high or low in testosterone, secretes more than usual. It is not unusual to show sexual attributes as a side effect of the testosterone surge, like an erection.

When the loser realizes he is going to lose, testosterone drops sharply. This enables him to think clearly and that signalling defeat is the best survival strategy. This hormonal state will persist for quite a while, for sure for several hours afterwards and even days. It will be the worst in the hour immediately after the fight. He will feel terrible. It will also be impossible to practice activities where testosterone is needed, like sex. In the original “Women watching men fight” thread Melanie Davis reported: “I have to say, sex with a guy after a fight only works when he has won. If he gets his ass kicked, they generally don’t want to fuck. That's my experience.”

[Edited by: Bull on 02-11-2012, 14:02]


Re: psychology of losing
Author: Bull
Date: 30-10-2012, 14:10


Part 2

In the winner exactly the opposite takes place. His testosterone levels surge even higher, but the stress hormones decreases. There is normally a feedback system where the brain tells the testes to stop secreting testosterone and testosterone is also turned into other hormones. When the body is flooded, this process is slow. Therefore in the immediate aftermath a winner may be so “testosterone drunk” that he may continue beating a loser after surrender and / or humiliate him verbally. There are many variations. Usually the high levels of aggression stops, but further hurting take place in a controlled way, like using pain holds. The loser is forced to acknowledge the winner’s dominance repeatedly and to plead for mercy. He may be required to say derogating things about himself or to “worship” the winner. The winner usually sits or lies on top of the loser – more later on these postures.

In both contestants, the normal state will return eventually. When, will depend on the severity of the interaction, like a fair, even fight or not. In the days after the fight a winner may re-inforce the humiliation of the loser by further take-downs or verbal taunting. Over a long time such losers will eventually suffer psychologically and via the psychosomatic principle their physical health will also deteriorate. This is fortunately usually not the case, but loser and winner are aware of the power relationship. The latter may change as a loser grows stronger and older, like with schoolboys.

[Edited by: Bull on 02-11-2012, 14:26]


Re: psychology of losing
Author: Bull
Date: 30-10-2012, 14:12


Part 3

Not all fights end totally hopeless for the loser. Winners may be magnanimous, or if the loser is a worthy opponent and indeed may turn the tables in future, the winner may leave the loser alone and even conclude a friendship by handshaking afterwards. Onlookers may break a fight up, or if the winner becomes cruel, tell the winner “this is now enough”. Combat sports are highly regulated for safety purposes.

Sometimes the loser caused trouble and cannot rely on spectator sympathy. Remarkable is however the spectator effect during certain uncontrolled fights. The loser may be the troublemaker, both contestants may have an equal stake in the dispute, or the stronger / winner may be on the wrong side. Whatever the case, the loser’s life may be in danger but nobody will attempt to stop the fight. The winner may be encouraged to beat the loser into a pulp and shouts of “kill him” are reported. While non-sports fights are often alcohol related, the combatants may be drunk but not necessarily the spectators. The instigators are often women. Feminists may detest this, but it is clear from the 3 “Women watching men fight” threads, “Whos’ on top” and “Men fighting to the death”, that many women still admire brute strength and dominance in men even if only on fantasy level. Women prefer alpha males. Girls desire conclusive outcomes with fights, whether knockouts or pin-holds regardless if the loser really have a raw deal. Victorious males in nature acquire mating rights. Somehow women are turned on by victory, and likewise may become so hormonally drenched that otherwise risky behaviour becomes acceptable.

[Edited by: Bull on 02-11-2012, 14:57]


Re: psychology of losing
Author: Bull
Date: 30-10-2012, 14:19


Part 4 (end)

In animals and humans certain dominance interactions appear like sexual encounters. The winner is able to freely make use of actions like the following:

* Mounting / riding the hindquarters of the loser: often seen in dogs, and observed in many mammals and other animals. It can be simple mounting, extension of the penis and even (but less often) penetration.
Primates (our ape family) often does the dominance back mount. In some it is a daily ritual where the dominant greets the subordinate by mounting him, subordinates may pro-actively stand to be mounted. I have seen perfectly straight boys humping others. That is now of course fully clothed. The extreme of male rape does not take place in public, but we know, sadly, it does occur.

* Putting the erect penis in the face of a subordinate and even urinating on him. This is most often seen in squirrel monkeys. Other primates practice it too. Schoolboys have perfected a certain type of pin, where a winner or simply dominant boy sits astride a loser. It can be on his belly or chest but very often with his crotch near the face of the weaker boy. He may otherwise even actively avoids hurting the bottom boy by not putting pressure on his body. This is nothing but the penis–in-face dominance pose of the other primates. Winners often do this to losers after active serious fighting.

* Lying almost flat-out on the body of the loser also has a sexual-cum-dominance connotation, namely the missionary sexual position. There is a debate about its dominance overtones if practiced man-on-woman. It stays however a very popular position for women, accounting for between 30% and 70% of copulations, depending on the surveys. In boys (and men) the symbolism is: I am to lie on the girls, not you, in fact, accept that your position is theirs.

I say “men” as I observed 2 missionary type pins by adult men (one 23y, one about 29y), and one crotch to face pin (by a 20y old). This is therefore not just a puberty phenomenon, but part of the sexual competition during youth.

Therefore Bud, you can see that losing physical fights are linked to far deeper physiological and psychological processes than any other type of antagonism. It is linked to survival, dominance and the rights to reproduce and to carry on your genes. No wonder it is so bad for the losers and highly enjoyable for the winners and their prospective sex partners.

[Edited by: Bull on 02-11-2012, 14:56]

[Edited by: Bull on 03-11-2012, 14:49]


Re: psychology of losing
Author: Bud
Date: 30-11-2012, 06:47


Thank you so much for that thoughtful response. It is amazing how spot-on much of your description is of my actual experience. I can recall the precise moment of the fight I realized I had lost any chance of control and was going to lose. It was like a panic. I thought not only, what do I do to prevent getting hurt too bad (answer: nothing I could do, it was up to him), but also how to avoid humiliation in front of people watching, especially the girls (answer again, frustratingly, was nothing).

What eats at me is how he exploited his position of power by using his finishing hold (a very painful armlock, after he had been on top of me punching my face and I had been futilely trying to block)... and almost even worse, how I perceived the girls were enjoying seeing what he was doing, even as my frustration and pain were being increased by him past the point of bearability. Maybe they weren't meaning to flirt with him afterwards... but their friendliness toward him came across that way.

Maybe some of the women on here can provide their thoughts too. If you do, please be brutally honest, even cruel if need be. I'm not looking for false sympathy, just the truth. Thanks :-)


Re: psychology of losing
Author: Bud
Date: 11-04-2013, 17:56


It does not seem like anyone is here...


Re: psychology of losing
Author: arenamaster
Date: 12-04-2013, 04:40


Just anyone interesting this theme



Re: psychology of losing
Author: stephanieboxer
Date: 30-06-2013, 11:03


I've lost more fights than I have won. The worst is losing when you were better but the home crowd had the decision. You get used to it


Re: psychology of losing
Author: karenred
Date: 09-07-2013, 06:43


First of all, when two guys fight I like to see an EQUAL fight where both men take and give really hard beatings. That said, I like a clear decisive win and love to see the loser dominated by the winner, usually with the winner's erect penis in the loser's face. This is especially gratifying when the fighter's women are present. My boyfriend fought another guy once. The other guy's girlfriend and me were the only spectators at the fight. Both men fought really hard and were both pretty bloodied. My man was the tougher man though and he ended up on top of the other guy beating him nearly senseless. They fought wearing only briefs. After the fight my guy yanked off the loser's shorts revealing his flaccid cock. The fight started with both men's cocks standing straight out. I was so turned on, I tried to start a fight with the woman, but she was a wimp and wouldn't fight.


Re: psychology of losing
Author: Bull
Date: 18-07-2013, 09:37


Was the loser's dick just normally flaccid or appearing to have shrunk to even a smaller size? The same for the scrotum. Did all the genitals together shrink to a small unit.


Re: psychology of losing
Author: Bull
Date: 02-08-2013, 06:37


This does not seem to be go to be answered. Personally have never fought in my life. However, the following stressful and humilating incident applies. I showered and changed to my work military uniform after punishment physical training. I was dismayed to find my dick and testes had shrunk to a small little ball with my dick almost hidden in the scrotum). It was not cold, in fact the opposite. I wonder if this happens to fight losers as a mechanism to protect the genitals, but psychologically can have a similar effect.



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Bonus picture (this text isn't written by me)

Winner & Loser in sexfight

Mallory had had no idea how much fun it was to make another woman come. But each time Judith twitched or spasmed in an orgasm, she felt like she’d won a free game on a pinball machine, or like her team had won the superbowl. It was her first time, but she was hooked. She didn’t want this to end, but already she was wondering what other friends she’d be able to get into bed.

[gerryc45]

when i fought this other guy in the basement of our house with our wives watching ass an added incentive to win previous to the fight we had arguments with this couple so we decided to settle things with a fight ..the girls refused to fight each other so it was left to us men ..at first we wore shorts but they were soon discarded and we fought naked ..i'm bisexual and i soon had an erection and i was pleased to see he had a hard cock too ..we struggled on but soon he had me on the ground but i managed to stand up again but after a few slaps and punches i fell to my knees,i tried to hold onto him to pull myself up but he stepped back,my wife was screaming at me to get up and fight,i did but,i again i fell to my hands,but i was beat,so what he did was get behind me and rub his cock on my ass hole..i did see my wife feeling his cock..