Those Tits, That Dick

JugglesTheClown · March 28th, 2017, 01:11 AM

Removed due to the board allowing the GoT child porn stories.

**Ragnar0k** · March 28th, 2017, 01:51 AM

Wow - what a great title and great story!
You have really nailed the bitchfight psychology so well that Rochelle's stream of consciousness reads like a dramatic monologue ...with a wonderful surprise ending. Do please continue with the sequel that is promised at the end.

Ragnar0k

**Augur** · March 28th, 2017, 04:44 AM

I concur, that's some excellent writing there, CrescentMoonie! You've really managed to get inside Rochelle's head, and the upcoming sexfight should make for phenomenal reading. I hope we'll get to see more titfighting in the future as well. Who knows, maybe Hailey's firm, pert tits will claim more victims before Rochelle can challenge them to a rematch...

Excellent work!

JugglesTheClown · March 29th, 2017, 05:11 PM

Sincerely, thank you both. This story basically forced itself on me, so we'll see how I do trying to write one for real. I legitimately had the idea, with the full outline, all come to mind at once and finished writing it out in maybe 20 minutes at most. I doubt I'll be so lucky if I try the sequel.

**Ragnar0k** · March 29th, 2017, 05:36 PM

Originally Posted by CrescentMoonie

Sincerely, thank you both. This story basically forced itself on me, so we'll see how I do trying to write one for real. I legitimately had the idea, with the full outline, all come to mind at once and finished writing it out in maybe 20 minutes at most. I doubt I'll be so lucky if I try the sequel.

No problem. I think what made your first story great was its apparent freshness and spontaneity - maybe not surprising if you actually finished writing it in 20 minutes! I still think you nailed the POV of the first person narrator so well. Initial overconfident superiority and bravado leading through degrees to ultimate comedown and humiliation. Dramatic tension indeed!

Personally, I always find it tough writing the next chapter. I'm beset with doubt about the plotting, the dialogue, the descriptive stuff - you name it! I also worry that if the last part was well-received, maybe the next one won't be.

So, you already have such a great setup for the sequel already, but perhaps you may have to change the angle a little? Rochelle will be much the wiser after her first contest, so her thought process will be different second time round. Or do you even change the POV to her rival who will now be the overconfident one?

I don't know, the decision how to proceed obviously is yours, and yours alone, but I wanted to offer some encouragement and hope you can make it second time lucky!