Originally Posted by
catfightlover40
It was, again, phenomenal, only, 2 things of note. When you introduce the new headquarters, there's a grammatical mistake in writing hanger instead of hangar. Then again, who knows, maybe this world's James Bond throwing the hat on Moneypenny's hanger opens a secret passage to said hangar.
The other thing is more of minor note, "Once you have decided to hit someone, then hit them hard because the retribution will be the same whether you hit hard or not." When the women devour Farrah in the tent, Amal speaks to her in Arabic and that's a genuine Arabic proverb, and in tone with what happens.
Last, but not least, this is just a personal thing for me, I'd format sections that depict actions geographically or temporally apart from each other with a wider space between or with asterisks. I've understood it completely nonetheless, but in my humble opinion it would be more stylish. While I did spent a lot of time researching military situations, it's something you've down to a T, so don't be surprised if I will have questions for you in the future.
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