A Quiet Affair Part 6
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  1. #21
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    Re: A Quiet Affair Part 6

    A Quiet Affair Part 6
    Quote Originally Posted by JB57 View Post
    I understand exactly what you are saying, but I am reluctant to criticize people for not writing what I want to see. What I mean is that you want to get into the deep psychological and symbolic motivations of characters and make them into something they may not have been intended to be, then criticize the writer for not doing what you want him to do. (If I'm misunderstanding you on this, I apologize). But I don't think that is fair; while I certainly understand the benefits and advantages of having characters that are deeply constructed, that is not really the purpose of this kind of story. I certainly agree with the argument that good stories of any kind require character and background and buildup, but in this kind of story (a sexfight story) the buildup is meant to give texture and suspense in the roll up to the ultimate point of the story- i.e., an erotic confrontation. It's all a fantasy and should be understood as such.

    Again, good characters make good stories. But, for this story, what it needed to do was give us two women who are physically beautiful and sexually powerful, and who are deeply attracted to each other so that, when they finally get around to fighting each other with their sexes, they are striving to humiliate and dominate each other sexually while reveling in and straining to withstand the enormous pleasure that they give to each other. I think that King's story does this beautifully, especially with the buildup to the final chapter. What he establishes is that Amber and Maggie give each other levels of sexual pleasure that neither has ever experienced with another person; this adds a whole other layer of desire and anticipation to their future meetings. The fact they may despise each other and all they "represent" (to you or to each other) is spiced with the appeal of intense mutual desire.

    Again, this is a sex fantasy, which may work against your desire to see fully fleshed out "human" characters. After all, in the real world, I don't assume at all that women who hate each other settle their differences by having mind-blowing sex with each other! When I write - even when I try to give my characters greater depth - I never lose track of the idea that the entire premise is based on a particular kind of fantasy, which inherently compromises the idea of true emotional reality.

    Again, I don't necessarily disagree with you, I just think that you are asking too much of a story that is meant to serve a very particular erotic purpose. To refer back to your earlier evocation of "Annie Hall" - in that particular scene, what it is about is a man in line who is expounding on the theories of Marshall McLuhan. Woody Allen reaches off screen and brings in McLuhan himself who then proceeds to explain to the other man how he misunderstands what McLuhan's theories and intentions really are. In a similar way, I think we have to allow the writer to describe the meaning and intentions of his/her work and make those intentions the parameters within which we evaluate the story. I don't know what King's intentions were but if he was trying to make a hot sexfight story with a couple of sexual archtypes who could fulfill the basic needs of the story, then he succeeded brilliantly (though not necessarily in the way I wanted).

    Take care,

    JB57
    To address your first paragraph, yes there is a level of misunderstanding. Like I said, there's a difference between boiling down characters to desires archetypes, who could be otherwise used in any other story and still feel relatable, and ones that aren't. Today I've read a story that was under 1000 words, featured no development, no ascertaining aspects which would differentiate them from, say, a trashcan, and yet there's of course need for such stories. I don't fault people who crave them, when the aforementioned Annie Hall was famous, porn stories where on their way of transforming from something tangible into the pizza delivery guy. Consumers on the mass consumption level lack the time to get invested, so, again, their intention is understandable. I'm not saying an author should in a compulsory fashion do a deep dive on human motivation, but stories like this one here, where you can almost literally feel that yes, the scribe did make the time and effort, that's where constructive criticism has a place.

    One of my favorite authors took inspiration from Edgar Allan Poe to the point he romanized his pen name to reflect that, and he's the closest Japan had to Stephen King, but unlike King, his central character was an alcohol abusing womanizer. I do disagree with you on the depth of characters as I'm on the standpoint that the sexual revolution brought liberation to both sexes, freeing them from vanilla, but even more importantly, prison. It wasn't until the mob seeing big bucks in the business and the success of the Southern Strategy pushing back on sexual freedom that retroactive change occurred. Whereas it objectifies women, it takes men for lazy and stupid, who lack the intent to demand more than pure sexualization. That's what I'm opposing, not an author's individual disinterest or unwillingness to dwell deeper into the subject matter. That's why I said Amber is portrayed (rightfully so) as hypocritical, not that King is unaware of the subject. In my interpretation, this was the marriage of the classic librarian fantasy (last put on screen in a sketch on SNL by Margot Robbie) with a believable power struggle of two representatives of a generation, ever more drifting toward "life's true representation on social media" instead of what IRL can offer.

    Before I started commission writing, I looked around, where and how, and while doing that search, I came across a journalist working for The Guardian, who used to offer editing services for erotic stories, and her biggest bane was correcting authors on female anatomy. One would think that's kind of important for a sexfight, but one always learns anew. I'm a visual thinker and writer, it's like sitting in the projector room taking notes on how things happen. So, I absolutely agree, of course most women don't fight each other sexually, but obviously not because they hide it, it's a sociocultural thing. Up until Ellen, and many still, as a collective, we used to fear those who're different, so it's natural, in lack of an open community members could turn to respective peers, they themselves felt shame for being different. It's still important to highlight however that Amber and Maggie did not simply fight to please us sexually. They wanted to do it. Good sexfight writers like you, Anubisx, shak, Rivals Rapture et al. can attest that the confrontation is fueled by a desire to prove themselves being the better woman. Beyond sexually, also on a more deeper human level. One key factor in women fighting nonviolently is the fact that they compete in skills they're better in than the other. Pure dominance right there. That is artistically giving women the appreciation that yes, we hear you, your ambitions are not lesser, than ours.
    The home of my multi-part work: https://www.patreon.com/powelltothepeople

    The place where I can be commissioned: https://www.fiverr.com/cflover40

    The lair of my reference work: http://cflover40.simplesite.com/

    Finally the one where I'll post my e-books: Lulu, once I post the complete first episode of my story

  2. #22
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    Re: A Quiet Affair Part 6

    Very Good !! I highly recommend it !!
    As for the sequel... do not ask... we highly expect it !! Whenever you can !!

  3. #23
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    A Quiet Affair Part 6



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    Re: A Quiet Affair Part 6

    Love it that these two even match women will still be around one another.
    Even though Amber won their sex fight. In reality, that's what both really want.
    For Maggie to push Amber into another hot fuck fight, for her own, peace of mind.
    For Amber a way to keep her win in Maggie's mind, and in her face.

    Wayne might even show up at some time. The two women might compare their sex
    skills on poor Wayne. Compare their blow job and tit fucking skills - at the same time.
    Another fuck fight might break out right there - on top of poor Wayne.

    Anyway thanks again for a really hot story Kingofdapirates.
    Last edited by dwcole; May 17th, 2018 at 10:28 PM.

  4. #24
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    Re: A Quiet Affair Part 6


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    A Quiet Affair Part 6
    Hey King, any chance of a crossover with the Sorority House. Amber and Maggie meet Lucy and Olivia?

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