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Thread: A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?

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    Senior Hostboard Member Rivals_Rapture's Avatar
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    Question A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?

    So for a while now, I've been getting feedback that people loved my story Backseat Battle, but that it was way too short. Not only that but that they still want more of Brenda and Samantha's tale.

    When the story was written, it was just a blog post attached to an image, as I had just begun my writing journey. But now, the length of my average story has changed -- for the better or worse.

    The question is then... Should I rewrite it and make it a full-length tale, or instead make a sequel to it that is full-length?

    Any thoughts?

    The link to the story is: here .

  2. #2
    Senior Hostboard Member catfightlover40's Avatar
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    Re: A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?

    Well, if it were my story I'd do both. You're a very talented and descriptive writer so your stories usually beget a hotly anticipated sequel. Also, a deserved one, as you know, a stricter regiment helps you focus on a story more

    Where I'd expand the original story is on two fronts: homeowner associations usually have ready cultural scripts for how to behave, so it'd contain if the husband and wife are recent arrivals, or she knows her rival's mother too, which in many suburbs would make sense. Yet the other thing is more important, and this is the part where others throw rotten tomatoes, me being anal on a tad more realism: it's a sexual fantasy, but tbh most Americans are tolerant of non-heterosexuals, not accepting, so the sudden let's get at each other sexually caught me by surprise. Don't change any of that, but I'd love to suspend my disbelief if it's established they have such inclanations.
    The home of my multi-part work: [URL]https://www.patreon.com/powelltothepeople[/URL]

    The place where I can be commissioned: [URL]https://www.fiverr.com/cflover40[/URL]

    What I use to "feed my birds": [URL="http://"https://twitter.com/powelltothepeo1/"]https://twitter.com/powelltothepeo1/[/URL]

    Finally, the one where I'll post my e-books: Lulu, once I post the complete first episode of my story

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    Junior Hostboard Member plan_b's Avatar
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    Re: A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?

    Hi,
    Slightly off topic but can you tell me where the pic titled Sexfight on your home page is from please ?
    Thanks
    Plan_B

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    HB Forum Owner JB57's Avatar
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    Re: A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?

    Dear Rival,

    Since you're asking, I agree with Catfight that you could do both - expand on the original story while planning to continue it in a sequel. The story itself is very well done. I like that you have the women sexfight but they both keep their panties on. That is erotic, but it also leaves somewhere to go in the next fight. Also, some more description of what the two women look like and what they are wearing (especially for Samantha) would help set the stage. As it is, there is a great deal of room for character and story development in what you have.

    I hope you'll let us know what you decide to do.

    Also, I would also like a copy of the pictures that you use on your website. I tried downloading them, but was not able to do so. Could you post them on the board, the way you did the pictures for Erin/Mary? Thanks!

    PS - I was able to download the image above from this page.

    Take care,

    JB57
    JB57

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    A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?


    apenman's Avatar
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    Re: A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?

    Rivals Rapture,

    Whichever way you take this, I'm sure it will be great.

    But my personal preference would be for a Chapter 2, albeit not necessarily directly related to the husband. By that I mean I'd like to see such increasing heat between the two women that they can't stay apart/can't keep their body parts from coming together again...perhaps a woman to woman as the husband watches?

    Just my thoughts. Again, whichever direction you take this, I have no doubt that it will be highly erotic.

    Regards,
    A.P.

  6. #6
    WriteThisWay
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    Re: A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?

    Series of sequels, all of the shorter variety like the original.

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    Account Suspended Joshuanunse's Avatar
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    beautiful young chinese girls

    she Lashay Wharton and Tyler Don DixonOn a crisp fall evening on the 6th of december at 5:30pm under the illumination of candle lit trees, Lindsay Lashay Wharton and Tyler Don Dixon dealt wedding vows at the Whitehead Memorial Museum. ones Minister, Tim coffee maker, From the First United Methodist Church officiated.and also close family friends who attended the ceremony at 5:30 were seated in rows of white wooden banquet chairs under candle lit trees near the colorful array of floral instruments surrounding the archway. Flowers in the arch were made up of fall colors of calallies, index mums, Larks burg, coupled with amaranths. At the front of the archway as well as at the entrance of the rows of white banquet chairs were large wrought iron candelabras highlighted with candles and floral arrangements designed by the Brides Aunt, Shannon browning. As guests were being seated they also enjoyed the sound of the flutist, Marianne Stevens and guitar player, Sergio Mireles who played love songs during and wedding reception ceremony.the cherished procession began with the seating of the families by ushers David Lee of Sonora (The Bride's grandfather) And Coalson age of Del Rio (Cousin of your son's bride).First sitting were the grooms's family from Hobbs and Lovington, New south america. Kay Ritchey the groom's grandma was seated first, then Fay Scott, Great grandmother; wear Ritchey, grandfather; Bobby not to mention Donna Moore, Uncle and Aunt of your daughter's groom.sitting on the Bride's side were Wayne and Shannon Brown of Del Rio, Linn Dutton of del Rio, And chris are friends,james and Jackie Lee of Sonora, arizona. ray Hanselman, mr. Mrs. Jack brown lightly, grandparents of the bride, Were then sitting. Mrs. Lovelyn Wharton, Mother of the bride, Was the next to be seated by her nephew Coalson Brown.Six Bridesmaids were attending. They wore truffle colored sleeveless long chiffon dresses with charmeuse rounded necklines and also a sash at the waist. The best lady was Misty Hanselman (Sister of the bride), Lauren browning (Cousin of your future wife), Chelsea Vaughn (Long time friend of the bride to be), Kristin Castleberry, away from Lubbock, colorado, Kimber Overland during Lubbock, texas and Jana Wanner from Lubbock, nevada.wedding bearer, mason Hanselman (Nephew of the bride), undertaken without flaw and wore jeans, A white button up shirt with boots to check the groomsmen.Standing with your daughter's groom was the Best Man, Tyler Cox from Hobbs, New mexico. Groomsmen becoming Tanner Moore and Nathan Moore, Cousins of groom from Hobbs, New mexico, Micah Duncan having to do with Hobbs, New south america and Justin Pool from Lubbock, arizona. Groomsman wore tight pants or skirts, Crisp white long sleeve button up shirts with corresponding western ties and boots.the father of the Bride, brian Wharton, Escorted the Bride while the wedding march was being played on the laptop keyboard by David Rivas. The Bride wore a candlelight colored trumpet wedding dress with a keyhole back. The sash at the waist was heavily beaded and accented by lace cap sleeves. The ivory wedding veil was attatched to a crystal tiara worn by the bride to be.immediately following the ceremony a reception was held. The country western band of Bud Nelson's struck up favorite country chinese wife tunes which helped in completing the theme. Tables were set with brown pin tucked tablecloths and golden tiffany chairs. centerpieces were wrought iron birdcages topped with floral arrangements of cal allies, Spider mums and peacock feathers. Candles and turqoise potpurri were scattered around the reception hall decor for color and aroma. A Texas BBQ location, Fiesta channel, sexy chinese women And Pasta station were set up at random locations for guests to enjoy a number of different foods. To boost ambience of the chilled evening. Chimaeras were placed around the causes to warm the guests.The Bride and Grooms cake were centered under the Pavilion as a main site. Cakes were displayed on two seperate tables. The Bride's cake was placed on a satin ivory tablecloth in the middle of colorful calallies. The Groom's cake was arranged on a brown pin tucked tablecloth engrossed in a burlap top with wrought iron candelabras and deer horns. Servers of the Bride's cake were Lisa Edwards and Becky West with Janice Foster cooking the Groom's cake. Greeter and attendant of the Bridal Registry Book was Susan Wardlaw. A big thank you also goes out to Kristin Wardlaw and Shannon Brown for organizing and selecting ushers, Groomsmen, And bridesmaids plus the decor.The special couple left in a Limousine at which time guests threw birdseeds at the couple as they left. the couple plans to reside in Hobbs, New Mexico looking for five day cruise in the Bahamas. Lindsay and Tyler wish to thank all relevant parties in their wedding for making it such a memorable evening!Special thanks visit the Fritsch family, The Cadawalder family along with the Jasphet family. and also, understanding goes to numerous family friends who traveled from out of town to attend the wedding from Kerrville, Goliad, Houston, Lubbock.

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    Senior Hostboard Member Giannis-CB's Avatar
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    Re: A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?

    Since you ask, i rather prefer a sequel. But no husband present. There is a heat between them, keep it that way.

    Just thoughts. One way or the other it will be a great story !

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    Senior Hostboard Member Rivals_Rapture's Avatar
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    Re: A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?

    I am not sure why this post (which was originally posted in September of 2018) was drug out of mothballs, but it certainly wasn't something I did.

    Looks like it was a spam poster, who's account has already been suspended.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giannis-CB View Post
    Since you ask, i rather prefer a sequel. But no husband present. There is a heat between them, keep it that way.

    Just thoughts. One way or the other it will be a great story !
    That being said, I appreciate your feedback, Giannis!

    Even with that appreciation though, this is a moot question as I already wrote a sequel to Backseat Battle. Which, if you want to check it out is here.

    As I recall, you were a big fan.

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    Hostboard Member rusty73's Avatar
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    Re: A Sequel or a Longer Rewrite of Backseat Battle?

    I'll second the call for a sequel to this story. Loved part 2. Would love to see what more happens between these two without the husband in the mix.

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