history of the problematic

[munchausenbyproxy]

<center>He looks upon his love, and neighs unto her;
She answers him as if she knew his mind:
Being proud, as females are, to see him woo her;
She puts on outward strangeness, seems unkind;
Spurns at his love, and scorns the heat he feels,
Beating his kind embracements with her heels.</center>

subject: brenna fay mccullah
age: 24
birthdate: february 21
birthplace: philadelphia, pa
tendencies: lapse of memory/prone to bouts of quiet/sarcastic/adores chemistry and codes/product of munchausen syndrome by proxy
pets: dog; bark/snail; speedy/frog; millenium/rats; dotty and geraldine


<center>- - - - - - - - - -</center>


"Begin recording: What did you have for breakfast this morning, Brenna?"

"Candy corns."

"I see. And how about yesterday?"

"...Don't remember."

"Mm hmm. Alright, what's the symbol for arsenic?"

"..as."

"Radium?"

"..ra."

"Magnesium. You're..not allowed to smoke in here."

"..ma." Puff.

"What did I ask you to bring with you today?"

"...A pen."

"No."

"Change of socks."

"...No."

"...Don't remember."

"Is chromic acid compatible with naphthalene?"

"No."

"Tell me what you can add to fluorine."

"Nothing."

"How'd you break the code for our security system?"

"Manipulated the numbers and changed the codes."

"Brenna...there are thousands of numbers..."

"Yes, Dr. Conolly, I'm aware of this."

"End recording: "That's enough for today. How's Sammy?"

"He's dead."

Pause.

"I'm ... sorry for your loss. You don't seem too upset. Why is that Brenna?...Brenna."

"Sorry. What was the question again?"

<center>- - - - - - - - - -</center>


munchausen syndrome by proxy (MBP): a form of abuse in which the primary caregiver, usually the mother, intentionally makes her child ill as a means to gain attention and sympathy for herself. The more time and effort the mother dedicates in trying to cure her child, the more she is rewarded emotionally for her heroic intentions.

By her first birthday, she weighed just under 14 pounds, a little under half of what her weight should have been.

medical chart recordings: constant crying, banging head against the wall, lack of sleeping pattern, attempted suicide by means of choking (mother's explanation), flu symptoms, spasms, digestive problems, uncontrollable vomiting, seizures, blood infections and an immune deficiency. [ Results: n o t a v a i l a b l e ]

Brilliantly convincing, her mother pushed the doctors to complete a series of invasive tests and procedures. Since she herself worked as a nurse, she knew exactly what to say and seemed perfectly calm and collected in situations were most mothers would be frantic and hysterical. As a result, everyone including Brenna saw her as a saint who consistently sacrificed everything to tend to her sick child; a child who was grateful to have such a caring and nurturing mother.

long term affects: can't wear turtlenecks from fear of suffocation, intolerable to the smell of grape juice (due to the ipecac), supersensitive to household cleaners, loss of short term memory, developed a series of unnatural quirks and struggles psychologically.

traits: understands caring, noticable difficulty with the start and upkeep of relationships, overly forgiving, cages all emotions save anger, extremely affectionate -- outside of public settings. Conversationally, attention span alters.


<center>- - - - - - - - - -</center>

<center>sammy; rip</center>

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Begin recording: Good morning Brenna. Please put the cigarette out, preferrably not on the floor this time. Thank you. Now, have a seat again."

Pause.

"Alright then, tell me about your last couple of weeks, but before you do...why did you miss our last three appointments?"

"...Was busy."

"Doing...?"

"Stuff."

"Brenna, what stuff?"

"I forgot."

"Ahh..I see."

"What're you writin'?"

"Stuff."

"Asshole."


<center>* * * * *</center>

"The sooner you answer, the sooner you're out of here. Are you ready to cooperate now?"

"Fine."

"Last two weeks. What happened?"

"Punched Cam in the mouth. Right hook."

"Why?"

"On drugs."

"Her, or you?"

"Me."

"You don't..do drugs, Bren."

"They came with the drink I ordered."

"Oh Jesus Christ Brenna, will you answer the questions appropria--okay. Alright. Let me see here.."

"You okay, Doctor Conolly?"

"Yes."

"That's good."

"So Sam's dead, you were drugged and you punched Camilla..who is your closest friend. Do I have that right?"

"Yep."

"What else?"

"That's all."

"That's...all that happened? Over a two week time span?!"

"No, that's all you have right."

"End recording: I need a Goddamn drink. Give me five minutes. And no smoking."


<center>* * * * *</center>

"Begin recording: I thought I said no smoking."

"I'm not."

"The cigarette is lit, Brenna."

"I'm not smoking it though."

"Thomas, take the cigarette from her."

Pause.

"Let's try one more time. What else happened over the past two weeks?"

"Met a guy."

"Oh? What's his name."

"Gimp."

"Gimp."

Nod.

"What do you enjoy most about him?"

"He's warm."

"Have you had relations with this man?"

"Sex? No. Not yet."

"So you're intentions are to make love with him then."

"I didn't say that."

"What are you saying? Be specific, Brenna."

"Oh, specifics?"

"Yes. That's correct."

"Then no, I don't plan on making love to him. I plan on fucking his brains out until he goes crosseyed."

Stare.

"End recording: Get. Out."

"Have a great day, Doctor Conolly."

<font color="#ECE6CA"><font size="1">[ February 06, 2005 10:58 AM: Message edited by: munchausenbyproxy ]</font></font>

<font color="#ECE6CA" size="1">[ February 12, 2005 02:10 AM: Message edited by: munchausenbyproxy ]</font>

[munchausenbyproxy]

"What the fuck's going on in here?! Jesus Christ Matthew, let her up."

"Bitch wouldn't let me give her the shot. She bit me!"

"Okay, everybody calm down. Brenna, stop struggling! Matthew, Thomas..back away from her. Now."

"Fuckin' fuck ...that hurt.."

"Matthew, get out. Thomas, start cleaning this mess up."

"Make her do it, Doctor Conolly. I'm sick of this."

"You're telling me she did..all this?"

"That's right."

"While you both were present and supposedly watching her?"

"....yes..."

"And your eye and lip?"

Pause.

"You're both pathetic. Clean her up then bring her to my office, then I want this shit put back in order or neither of you should come back in the morning."

Pause.

"What did she use to put that hole in the wall??"

"Thomas's head."

<center>* * * * *</center>

"Begin recording: Brenna, would you care to tell me what happened earlier?"

"No."

"Did being restrained upset you?"

"No."

"Then what set you off?"

"Matthew's breath."

"I can't say I blame you there. What are you thinking, right now?"

"That your ears stick out way too far from your head."

"You do realize that you're considered a danger to society, correct?"

"Why's that?"

"You're a very angry girl, Brenna."

"I'd say more like slightly miffed..."

"What's wrong with you, Bren?"

"...nothin'..."

"You went into a rage, destroyed one of our rooms and put one of my men's head through the wall...and there's nothing wrong with you?"

"You wanna know what I think, Doctor Conolly?"

"Yes, I do. Tell me...Brenna, scoot the chair back, please."

"I think your need for control comes from being constantly tormented when you were a child. You were probably quite frail, and weak minded..."

"Brenna, you're too close. Back up. Now."

"...I think you like making people feel like they're fucked up because it makes you feel like you're not..."

"I'm calling the orderly..Brenna, let go of my wrist.."

"...I think you need to go change your pants, Doctor Conolly."

"....what?"

"You just peed all over yourself."

"....End recording."

[munchausenbyproxy]

October 2004

"Yeah."

"Hey baby. What're you doin'?"

"Heya Sam. M'talkin' on the phone."

Snicker.

"Besides that, I mean."

"Havin' a drink with Cam. Want one?"

"Can't drink through the cell, Bren. I'll be home in two days or less. I..miss you. A lot."

"I know ya do. Wanna talk with Cam?"

"Bren...."

"She's right here, lookin' all eager to say hello...or throw up...can't tell which yet."

"...Brenna."

"Hmm."

"I love you."

Pause.

"I like you too, Sammy. You're like central air on a hot summer day."

He was grinning, she could almost hear his lips curling.

"How much?"

"Enough."

"Tell me."

"More than broccoli."

"...tell me baby.."

"I wanna show you."

Pause.

"You really need to be home right now."

"I am."

"Home? Thought you were drinking with Cam?"

"I am."

"Give her the phone if you think she'll talk with me."

It had been over a year since brother and sister had spoken.

"...Hey Sam."

"Hey Sis. She behavin'?"

Keep it casual. Light.

"As much as she can. Challenges, you know."

He laughed.

"I'll be home in a couple of days, business is almost wrapped up here. I...wanna see ya. Leave Sunday night open so I can take you girls out for a drink. To..talk. We should, you know. Now do me a favor...?"

"Will do. Sure Sam, what do you need?"

"Go home, give Bren the phone. And for God's sake, tell her not to hang up!"

"Oh Jesus. You two...I swear. And why should we cut girls night short?! Don't they have hookers out there?! ...Ow! Bren!."

"Cam? She upset?"

"Naw, she knows I'm playin'.."

Quiet for a moment.

"You're the only one who can get away with sayin' shit like that."

"It's a girl thing."

"I miss ya Cam. I'll be home in two days or less and then we need to sit down an' talk. There's a lot I have to tell you before I quit this job."

"That's the best news I've ever heard. See ya soon. Here's Bren."


<center>* * * * *</center>


"Tired now?"

"Hell yeah. I'm gonna get a couple hours of sleep then wrap shit up here. I'll call later tonight if I can make it home any earlier. Hell, maybe I'll just show up at your door."

"Okay Sammy. Ya promise?.."

"Yep."

Pause.

"Hey Bren?"

"Mmm..?"

"Damn you sound good. Jesus. Okay listen to me baby. You and Cam...don't answer your doors until I get home. Tell her that when you see her in a couple of hours. Understand?"

"M'tired Sam.."

"Can you remember that Brenna? It's important."

"I'll remember. No doors."

"Perfect. I love you. Tell Cam I love her too."

Click.


<center>* * * * *</center>


"Yeah."

"Hey Bren. Ya up?"

"Uh huh..kinda. What time is it?"

"It's five.."

"Ugh, Cam. Lemme sleep another couple of hours. I didn't get through talkin' with Sam until late.."

"Bren, it's five in the evening."

Blink.

"Oh shit! I was supposed to tell you something....Sammy said not to forget.."

"Bren.."

"...Had something to do with doors.."

"...Bren.."

"Yeah? What's wrong Cam. Your voice sounds funny. You sick'?"

"I'm coming over. I need to tell you something and I'm not gonna do it over the phone."

Pause.

"He's coming home, Camilla. He promised. He said to tell you to not answer the door, and he said to tell you that he loves you. He said that."

"I'm at your front door Bren."

"We can wait for him together, he'll be here soon.."

"..In the living room now.."

"..he said...he said he's got something important to tell us.."

"Look up Bren."

"...No. No..no..no.."


<center>* * * * *</center>

All fucking day she sat there, by his grave, trying to do as Cam urged and just let go. Day turned to night, the sun had long since slid under the horizon, leaving haunting and resplendent streaks of orange and red to slowly fade away as the shadows crept closer.

She'd get up, then sit down...get up and and take a few steps away, then turn right back around and stand there, staring down at the fresh, new dirt. It was pretty and clean looking right then. Unbeknownst to her, Cam hadn't left either; she sat in the distance just watching Brenna stare at the grave where her brother was buried. It was time.

"C'mon Brenna." Cam slid an arm through hers after making her way over.

"He promised."

"I know."

"Wasn't enough time, Cam. Was supposed to be forever..."

Camilla looked at the grave again, nodding gently while pulling her away.

"Now it can be, Bren. Now it's forever."

<font color="#ad865d"><font size="1">[ January 11, 2005 12:26 PM: Message edited by: munchausenbyproxy ]</font></font>

<font color="#ad865d"><font size="1">[ January 15, 2005 11:43 AM: Message edited by: munchausenbyproxy ]</font></font>

<font color="#ECE6CA" size="1">[ February 02, 2005 10:59 PM: Message edited by: munchausenbyproxy ]</font>

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Begin recording: Nice of you to make it tonight, Brenna."

Silence.

"Did you enjoy your lab time this evening?"

"Was okay."

"And what did you create for us this time?"

"Form of LOX."

"LOX. Sounds vaguely familar. What is it, exactly?"

"A type of explosive."

"I see. And it takes what form?"

"Can be gaseous. Mine's liquid."

"And...it's properly contained?"

Silence.

"Brenna? It's properly contained?"

"...For the most part."

Stare.

"What chemicals did you use?"

"Liquid oxygen and fuel."

He sighed.

"So it has to be exposed to flame to be ignited?"

"Right. That's one way."

"Is it properly contained in there Brenna?"

"...It's..in a decanter."

"Oh Christ. Thomas isn't smoking, is he?!"

"Don't think so. I gave the shit to him and told him to bring it to your office."

"What's he doing with it, Brenna?"

"Told him to put it on your desk, and not play around with it any."

"Good girl. You said that flame is one way. Is there another way to ignite the LOX?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

"This..is where you tell me the other means, Bren."

"Your office carpeted, Doctor Conolly?"

"...Yes. But what does that have to do with anything? .... "

Pause.

"Damn it, Brenna! End recording: I'll be right back. Don't move."

Static electricity was good for more than just making balloons stick to the wall.

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Begin recording: Evening, Brenna. How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you."

"Splendid. I thought tonight we would discuss what's going on in that head of yours. Sound okay?"

"Yeah."

He smiled.

"I'm enjoying your agreeable mood, my dear. Now, had you one wish, what would it be? Take your time with this..."

Pause.

"Anything come to mind, Bren?"

"Uh huh."

"And...that would be what?"

"For my one wish, I'd like for Cam's voice to never tire or fade, please."

"No no, let me -- what I meant was, if you had one wish. This is for you, not Camilla."

"Yes, I heard you Doctor Conolly."

"Why is that your wish Brenna?"

"Because."

Patience. Patience.

"Because is not an acceptable answer."

Sigh.

"Because, that's what she loves most in this world."

"....and?"

"....and she's my best friend. When she ain't happy, I ain't happy."

"I see. That could prove to be challenging for you. You should live your life and be happy no matter the situation with those you consider close. It's call survival."

"It's called selfish."

Brow quirk.

"Friendship isn't about sacrifice."

"It's only about sacrifice. That's why it's called friendship."

"Interesting."

Silence.

"What if Camilla doesn't place your feelings first, as you try to do hers?"

"She does, so your question is irrelevant and contriving."

Pause.

"There's much more to you than you let on -- why is that Brenna?"

"Personal preference."

"You're complicated."

"You're not."

Chuckle.

"I have years of schooling and experience under my belt and you believe that I'm not complicated?"

"Correct."

"Explain, please."

"You're like a book. You get through the little narrative on the back cover, and you don't need the meat."

"You mean there's no use reading what's on the inside pages?"

"There's nothing on the pages, Doctor Conolly. They're empty."

"End recording: Even though your irritate me to no end, you're quite fascinating Brenna."

"Ditto that."

"You find me fascinating as well?"

"No. Just irritating."

"Your honesty is refreshing and appreciated."

"Yours is text book and boring. Try growing an emotion."

Pause.

"Red ain't your color, Doctor Conolly. G'night."

__________________

"I don't know how to open up."

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Begin recording: Hello Brenna. Just so you know, the state has extended your visits with me by two years. They deem it necessary for me to have you better readied for mingling with society."

"They can shove it right up their as--"

"Brenna."

Silence.

"You never speak of being in love. Do you believe in love, Brenna?"

"Yap."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Newp."

"If you want these visits to end, you'll need to open up to me."

"Are you...coming on to me, Doctor Conolly?"

"Of course not!"

Pause.

"Now then, why aren't you dating?"

"I am."

"Oh? Might I know his name?"

"Sure, you might."

Pause.

"What is his name, Brenna?"

"Irrelevant."

Scribbling.

"Do you believe him to care for you?"

"Yeah."

"Why's that?"

"Had his head up some chick's skirt, is why."

Cough.

"And..this has you thinking that he cares for you?!"

"Uh huh."

"....why?"

"Because of what happened after."

"What happened after?"

"He got drunk."

Stare.

"I don't see the correlation, dear."

"You do have a degree in psychology, right?"

"Yes, Brenna, I do."

"Oh. But you don't see the correlation?"

"No."

"It happened, he got drunk. See it now?"

"....No."

"Did you not tell me that my drinking was a way for me to ignore my emotions?"

"I did."

Pause.

"Ahh. So you think he drank because it was upsetting to him."

"Yes."

"Did he tell you about it, Brenna?"

"No."

"And you don't find that alarming?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because his head's only been up my skirt since then."

"End recording: Go home, Brenna."

Salute.

__________________

"I don't know how to open up."

[munchausenbyproxy]

Remembering

"I just called you a bitch! Don't you have anything to say?!"

Pause.

"Bren. Seriously. Fucking say something."

"Alright Sam. See ya."

Stare.

"See ya? I just went off on you for a good half hour, and all you can say is ..see ya?"

"Right."

"You wanna talk about this later then?"

"Nope."

"Bren, stop. Wait."

Pause.

"Why the fuck not? You can't keep running away from this!"

"I ain't running. I'm stopping."

"Stopping? Damn Bren, just when I think I've figured you out..."

Sigh.

"Stopping what?"

"Stopping myself from making you feel as shitty as you have me feeling."

Swallow.

"Bren..I'm sorry. Baby, wait a minute.."

"I gave you thirty. How you used them was up to you. It's done."

"What? What're you sayin'? Are we...is this it??"

"Yep. Night, Sammy."

Quiet.

"Brenna..."

"Go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"...The...morning?...But you just said.."

Pause.

"What Sam? God. I said this is it -- I ain't listening to your shit no more tonight. So..see ya."

Grin.

"Still gonna wear my ring? Bren?! You hear me?"

Hand lifted, middle finger extended -- sparkly ring was flashed.

________________

"Don't know if I want to open up."

[munchausenbyproxy]

"Begin recording: Happy Monday, Brenna. Are you ready to start tonight's session?"

"Mm hmm."

"I'm going to hold up a card with a blotted image, and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when you see it, okay?"

"Yep. Got it."

Silence.

"A penis."

" ....Brenna. It's ..triangular."

"Oh."

"Again."

"Candy corn."

"End recording: Well then, have a nice night."

"Will do, Doctor Conolly."


<center>* * * * *</center>


"Matthew, tail her."

"You got it, Doctor Conolly."

"Oh, and Matthew?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Don't touch her, just watch her...or I'll break your legs."

Pause.

"Yes, sir."

[munchausenbyproxy]

Quip from an Answering Machine
[present time]

"Brenna? It's Sam. Hi baby, I sure miss you. Can't wait to see you again real soon..."

What the fuck? Sam's dead. This isn't happening.

"...because it's been far too long. You're still true to me, right baby? Only me, right? I remember out talks, Brenna, in bed late at night..."

No. NO. This is wrong. Gotta find Cam.

"...when we'd both get home after a long day. God I miss that, you have no idea how much. Listen, Bren, Cam's in trouble. Big trouble, and this is what I need you to do. You listening darlin'?"

Camilla...trouble. Gotta find her.

"She's gonna die, Bren, and you gotta let it happen. Stop..fighting. STOP FIGHTING IT BRENNA. HEAR ME?! You fuckin' bitch! You're gonna get the shit kicked outta you if you don't back the fuck of--" BEEP.

Find her. Help me find her.

______________

"Help me. Please."