that's my plastic in the dirt - Kyle Shepherd

[cracked brass]

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I've these dreams of
Walking home
Home where it used to be
And everything is
As it was
Frozen in front of me

Here I stand
Six feet small
Romanticizing years ago
But it's a bitter sweet feeling hearing
"Wrapped Around Your Finger" on the radio.

</center>

[cracked brass]

A tale of one-and-a-half-idiots: an excerpt.

"Sometimes I think you're stupid, man."

"The fuck?"

"I mean, you talk to this chick on the phone accidentally and now you're living with her? How the hell did you land that deal?"

"Sometimes I think your tongue lapped too much at the retard milk."

"Hey, that was a pretty good one!"

"I learned it from the best."

"Your mom?"

"My mom died when I was seven, asshole."

"Aw, dude, I'm sorry..."

Kyle laughed. Outrightly.

"...You think it's funny that your mom died, bro'?"

"I think it's funny that you saw her last Saturday, bro."

"Aw, fuck. I already forgot. Hey, your mom is pretty hot, is sh--"

"Shut up."

"Aw c'mon, man!"

"Shut the fuck up, Davis."

"Fine."

So he did. For a long, awkward pause. Then, started up again while munching on Cheetos.

"So the girl."

"What about her?"

"Her name?"

"Lantana."

"She hot?"

"She'll be here in an hour, find out for yourself."

"Is that your way of getting me int--"

"It's my way of saying stop fucking talking, man. That's all. Just stop fucking talking."

So he did. Again. More Cheetos, less chatter. For about... a minute.

"...So is she blonde?"

"Jesus Christ, what is it with you and chicks?"

"I like them."

"They don't like you, Davis."

"That's not true, I fucked Diana last Sunday."

"Sunday. You should've gone to church instead."

"Well she dressed up like a nun for me..."

"Sick, man. Sick."

"Hey, you asked."

"No I didn't."

"Yeah, you did. You just didn't know you were asking."

"You've been drinking the retard milk again, haven't you?"

"You mean the milk from your mom's tit?"

"Asshole."

"You're just jealous."

"Of what?"

"Me."

"Exactly."

"It's true."

"How?"

"I scored, you didn't."

Kyle just sat for a moment, staring at Davis from his lounge on the couch. "...Let's think about this. I have a fucking chick living with me. You are sleeping on your ex-brother-in-law's couch."

"Yeah."

"And somehow you scored, and I didn't?"

"I know. Kinda sad, isn't it?"

"You're a loser."

"Thanks." Popping a Cheeto "...But I still think your mom is hot."

<font color="#000002" size="1">[ March 15, 2006 10:35 PM: Message edited by: cracked brass ]</font>

[cracked brass]

<font size="1">Left on his side of the bed for when she woke up in the morning.</font>

Lantana,

I'm not very good at letters or notes or anything, but I wanted to leave something for you before I left for the weekend. I know it's just a weekend, and I know this probably will make me look like a complete sap, but I don't know. Giving you a kiss and walking out the door just didn't seem substantial enough.

There's a lot you don't know about me, that we've just never talked about. I think I like that about you, you don't ask a lot of questions and you don't pry into my past. You live in the moment and you don't take things for granted. You accept people for who they are and you expect that in return, just the way you respect people and expect respect in return. That's part of what separates you from other women I've dated. You don't take things lightly, you're passionate, and you make me feel like this is all worth something. It's not about finding an easy lay. It's not about having to hurry up and leave before the sun comes up so I'm not stuck with someone for another day.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, this is the first time I've felt this way about anyone in a long time. You've walked yourself straight into my house, and in the process walked yourself straight into my heart. I guess I just want to thank you for that. You make me want to be a better person, and not many people do.

If you really want that dog, or bird, or snake, or whatever you want to cuddle with, then get a newspaper and look. As much as I hate animals, I love you. Whatever makes you happy.

See you when I get home.

-Kyle