Hmmmmmm.................

[willow witch]

1) Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

2) I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain; no pain.

3) I am in shape. Round's a shape...

4) I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

5) I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

6) Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets
mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the
window.

7) Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and
anyone
going faster than you is a maniac.

8) You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a
day when
she was 60. She's 97 today and we have no idea where she is.

9) I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every
other one. I
figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,they
are
always locking three.

10) The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from
some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they
are okay,
then it's you.

11) Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent
image
there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it,
maybe laundry
isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before
you do the wash.

12) I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say
because
it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother in law is
attractive,
but I only have photographs of her.

13) A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "You
know
a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a
psychotic tone,
"I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

[willow witch]

Just when you thought you knew everything (no, it's not an anti cola add
;-)...

1.In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck
to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2.You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two
days.
3.To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl....... Let
the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean.
4.The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
5.To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a
crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
6.To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over
the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
7.To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted
bolt for several minutes.
8.To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan;rap the
ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished,
remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous
brown gravy.
9.To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy
clothes, add detergent, And run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will
help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze fromyour windshield.

FYI: 1.The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. It's pH is 2.8. It
will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.
2.To carry Coca Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use
the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly Corrosive materials.
3.The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their
trucks for about 20 years! Drink up! No joke. Think what coke and other soft
drinks do to your teeth on a daily basis. A tooth will dissolve in a cup of
coke in 24-48 hours

[Më£ïñÐa]

ah! oh!...I'm doomed!

*downs my Dr.Pepper

[willow witch]

Pepsi for me.....I'm surprised I gotta stomach left......but what the hell....who needs that anyway?

*pssst...I have a two liter a day habbit*

[OuTcAsT]

This may sound like I'm trying to be funny but it's true.
I hate the taste of soda unless it's mixed with some type of liquor.

[Më£ïñÐa]

well...i didnt think you were sounding like you were try'n to be funny....

but then again...i'm too high at the moment...*smiles

...:::see ya!

[OuTcAsT]

I can inderstand that.

[Myra]

Its the pop that gives ya a hangover *nods lots* The sugar! I was a designated driver one nite ( Yes one night *L* ) and i drank pop all nite cuz it was free...... ohhhhhh i had the worst hangover n i was the only sober one *shrugs*

------------------
Everyone thinks i am insane.... all but my friends deep inside the earth......

[OuTcAsT]

Soda will dehydrate you something fierce.

[Rant In (E) Minor]

*Peels Mel off the ceiling