PATD II

[MerleZ]

Message: Repair-bear
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Aug 30, 2000 17:56

Angry didn't want to go to a repair place. He wanted to get to Yellowstone. He also didn't want a door back on there, either. Suddenly, Angry didn't like small places anymore. He looked at the door lying in the little hall. Then he looked at the cushions on the little couch behind the table. A thought occurred to him (a rare event).

Angry pulled up one of the long cushions and went to the bathroom door. He held it up. Perfect!

He looked around at the jumble of stuff that was on the floor from Bmat's sudden stop, and fished out a hammer and some nails from the open tool kit. A few moments later, he had the cushion nailed up at the top.

"There. Better. Now Angry not get stuck in there no more."

He went up to the driver's seat. "Okay Cranky. Angry fix door. We go Yellowstone now. OK?"

Cranky craned her head around to look at the door.

"Look out!" Screamed Bmat, as Cranky veered off the road, taking out a dozen mailboxes before she got the RV under control again. "Nebber ebber take you'se eyes offa da road, Cranky!" Bmat's nerves were just about shot.

Just then, the engine coughed, sputtered, and died.

"Now what?" Wondered Bmat.

"We'se outta gas," volunteered Cranky.

"Gas?" Asked Angry.

[MerleZ]

Message: What's gas?
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Aug 31, 2000 18:41
Angry had a puzzled expression on his face (a common occurrence). "What's gas, Cranky?"

Cranky clucked her tongue and rolled her eyes. "It's what makes da Winneba - GO!"

Angry scratched his head. "Nope. Long skinny pedal make it go. Little fat peddle make it stop. You put foot on litte fat peddle, Cranky?"

Sammy was nodding right along with Angry. "Yeah, he's exactly right."

Bmat looked unsure. Cranky was beginning to scowl at them. "NO! I means it's da gas what makes da engine run. If da engine don't run, da peddle don't do nuttin'! Now you'se two go find a gas station, and get some gas."

Sammy and Angry looked at each other in puzzlement. Then they looked back at Cranky. "Gas in trees like hunny? In kegs like Sammies?"

"NO! Honestly! You'se goes to da gas station. You'se gets a can o' gas, and you'se brings it back here, and puts it in da gas tank." She could see the look on their faces they still weren't getting it. She grabbed a marker and a piece of paper off the floor and wrote on it:


<center><font size=+5>G A S</center></font size<Message: What's gas?

"Look for a sign dat says dis here, okay?"

Angry and Sammy's faces brightened at that. "Oh, yeah, we'se can read dat dere," said Sammy, and led Angry out to the road, leaving Bmat and Cranky wondering what would happen next.

So Sammy and Angry went looking for Gas. "Angry think Cranky sweet on you, Sammy."

"Nope, she's sweet on Lubber. Or maybe dat stuck up Merley."

Angry laughed. "Merley not a real bear. Merley too . . . . . Pompous."

"Pompous? Where'd you heared dat word, Angry? I'se don't know what dat means! What's dat mean, Angry?"

Angry furrowed his brow. "Angry think it means like fool."

"Huh?"

"Valen call Merley 'pompous fool' all the time. So must mean like fool."

"Oh." Suddenly Sammy stopped and sniffed the air. "You smells dat, Angry?"

Angry sniffed, then grinned at Sammy. "Angry smell! How Sammy always smell first?"

"Nommy says I'se gots a talent fer it. Follow me!"

Sure enough, there was a bar around the corner. A bar that wasn't used to talking bears walking in on their back legs. A bar that became completely panicked at seeing two talking bears walking in on their back legs. A bar that became suddenly vacant, but for the two talking bears walking in on their back legs.

Sammy and Angry went behind the bar, and helped themselves to a couple of glasses, and began downing whatever they had on tap.

[This message has been edited by MerleZ (edited December 18, 2000).]

[MerleZ]

Message: Meanwhile back at the "bego"
Author: Bmat the Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Aug 31, 2000 19:41

Bmat the Minbari Bear and Cranky Bear are taking advantage of the quiet time to clean up the mess caused by all the sudden stops. There is a rap on the door. Cranky walks to the door and opens it.

An amazingly good-looking bear in a State Police uniform is standing there (Smoky ....Smoky the Bear....get it?? bwahahaha.) "Good afternoon, Ma'am," he says, "Do you need some assistance?"

Cranky's eyes open very wide as she takes in the officer. "ummma ummmma ummmma," she says.

Bmat the Minbari Bear looks up at Cranky's odd words and peers around Cranky to see what is going on. Her jaw drops as she takes in the amazingly good looking bear. She says "ummmma *hrmmm- peace tranquility* um.. Oh hello officer- we's run outa gas but our friends are going to get us some. Thank you though. Ummmm would youse like to come in for a glass of lemonade?"

"Well....thank you, ladies, don't mind if I do...but just for a few minutes."

[MerleZ]

Message: Back at the bar....
Author: - Bmat Curie
Date: Sep 2, 2000 13:42

Sammy and Angry leaned against the bar, quaffing beers and grinning hugely. They were feeling right at home.

In walked the Sheriff and two deputies: "Just what do you think you too are doing??" asked the Sheriff in a perturbed voice.

Angry and Sammy looked at each other then back at the Sheriff.

Sammy: "Uh...you talkin' ta us?"

Sheriff: "Well do you see anyone else in here?!"

Sammy and Angry took a look around. By golly there wasn't anyone else in the bar. Angry scratches his head and said to Sammy: "Dere were people here when we came in....rite?"

Sammy muttered back to Angry: "Ummm- dunno- I was lookin' at the bar and da beer and didn't pay attenshun."

They both looked back at the Sheriff and grinned sheepishly (bearishly?).

The Sheriff rolled her eyes and snarled: "Cut the wise-cracking and assume the position!"

Angry grinned: ("Sheriff called Angry "Wise" hehehe")

Sammy looked dumm: "Uh.....da posishun?"

The Sheriff gritted her teeth and snarled: "Turn around you two!! spread your legs and put your hands ...paws....behind your heads!"

The bears, slightly soused as they were, shrugged and meekly complied. One of the deputies commented: "Ummm, Sheriff Jules.....we can't cuff them their um wrists are too big."

The other deputy said: "Ummm.. I don't have to frisk them do I?" looking doubtfully at the two bears. "They don't have any pockets..."

The Sheriff snapped: " Do it!!"

The deputy jumped and walked over to the bears, raised his hands and moved them toward the bears, but when Sammy and Angry started to glower and show their fangs he backed off.

The Sheriff sighed and said: "Oh all right! Bring them to the station."

The 5 traipsed across the street and down a block and entered the station. There were a few other deputies there answering phones and processing a few suspects.

Angry and Sammy were told to sit down on a bench and wait for processing. A deputy came along and told them to go to the fingerprinting area. Angry's and Sammy's prints were taken, although they didn't fit into the little squares.

As the two were led back into the main room, they passed the interrogation room where the Sheriff was now questioning a burglary suspect. She was sure he was guilty but had only weak proof.. She shouted in his face: "Look you little Troll......!"

Angry's head snapped around and he charged into the room. " Where Troll!!!!!!, fangs bared, brows lowered.

The hapless suspect proceded to confess to 24 burglaries, 6 shopliftings, 9 muggings and 2 taking candy from babies.

The Sheriff, with a satisfied smile, looked the bears over with new consideration. "You too looking for a job by any chance?"

Sammy grinned "We gots jobs at PATD."

The Sheriff said: "Ahhhh....Well....I guess the town will cover the bar bill...You two can run along now. Come back whenever you like."

Sammy and Angry walked out of the station amidst much cheering and handshaking.

As they meandered down the street, Angry asked: "Hey....weren't we supposed to do somethin' while we was here?"

Angry replied: "Angry forget...."

[MerleZ]

What happened next got eaten in a SFV meltdown. As a synopses, they got some gas. Angry went fishing in a decorative pond outside a Chinese restaurant. Sheriff Jules decided it was best to just escort the Bears out of town, and get them on their way.

[MerleZ]

Message: On the road again
Author: Bmat the Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Oct 26, 2000 08:25

The 'bego was moving along the highway. Cranky was at the wheel. Bmat the Minbari Bear and Sammy were puzzling over the road map. Angry was snoring loudly in the back bedroom.

The bears all looked up for a second as they had the funny sensation that someone was watching them- but the feeling was soon gone.

Bmat: "I thinks we is here, Sammy- see dat little orange thingy? Look out there- there's a big orange barn- got to be the same thing."

Sammy: *scratching his head* "Well I dunno, Bmat, I see bunches of those orange thingies but not that many orange barns..."

Bmat: "Ohhh....good point. Hey- I gots an idea! Let's turn the map upside down and see if that helps."

The bears rotate the map around so that the S is on the top.

Sammy says: "So what does those letters mean anyhow, Bmat?"

Bmat, clueless as usual, "Wellll it's like this, Sammy. It depends on how you have the map placed. Ya see when we have it with the S upward, the S means "Speed" so if we take this route we make the best time on the road. Then the N means "No don't go below this line", W means "Wrong way" so we don't goes there, E means "Excellent Choice" so I think we needs ta go kinda between the S and the E- so's we can go good an fast....."Bmat runs out of steam.

Sammy nods wisely, his brain however is thinking...What in the world is she talking about...

Nevertheless he agrees that that sounds like a plan, so the next time they see a turn-off to the left they instruct Cranky to head that way.

Before they get very far, though, the 'bego starts bouncing and making a funny sound. Cranky guides it off the road, and the three of them climb out and inspect the tires. Sure enough one of the tires is flat.

The bears all look at each other shrugging.

Cranky: "Nobody knows how ta change one o these things?"

Bmat and Sammy shake their heads. Angry appears at the door, climbs down, and joins the group.

Angry: "Um....we got jack?"

Cranky: "What's jack?" The other two look at each other and shrug again.

Angry: "*yawn* Angry hitch ride, get help."

Angry stands beside the 'bego, thumb out [bears got thumbs??] but no one even slows down to offer help. After a while, Bmat gets impatient.

Bmat: "ahem!....I'se gonna take care of dis. Umm...Angry, why don't you go look for some berries..." When Angry is safely out of the way, Bmat tells the other bears to wait behind the 'bego. She stands by the road and strikes a provocative pose. She bends one knee alluringly, places one hand behind her head and the other on her hip, and she flutters her eyelashes.

Soon the squealing of wheels is heard as a pickup truck stops quickly and a good-looking young man with a grin on his face asks if he can help. Bmat gives a big smile and says:"
Why, aren't youse just the sweetest lil thing there is!!! I gots this here flat tire and I jus don't have the least idea how ta fix it. I needs a big strong man ta help. *fluttering her eyelashes again.""

The man grins again and says "Sure Ma'am, glad to help a pretty little lady like yourself! Where's your jack?"

Angry, having gathered some berries, arrives back at just that time and hears the word "jack"- he grins hugely and nods: "Yes- jack"

The man's jaw drops as he sees all four of the bears. However he good naturedly changes the tire. The bears are all so grateful they invite him in for a drink. They tap another keg and trade baseball stories. Soon the pizza they ordered is delivered.

By this time it is getting dark. The bears offer to let the man sleep in the 'bego, since they know people should not drink and drive, but he assures them he will sleep in his pickup. They all say good night.

[MerleZ]

Message: A fishy story
Author: - Sammy Bear
Date: Oct 30, 2000 18:02

Cranky was cruisin da 'bago right along and through the mountains of...er...the northwest? Efveryone was getting hungry by noon time so Angry quickly told Cranky to stop. He saw lunch! They pulled off the side of the road and Angry sniffed his way across a trail...straight to a stream.
There was a bear there, collecting fish. Angry walked up to him and asked "Hows da fishin' mr. bear?" The bear looked at Angry with a quizical look and growled.

Um...Angry..I doesn't think dis bear talks. He's not from around Nomad mtn. Deres no magics here.

Well, the bear went and took a swipe at Angry. Rut Roh...Angry tilted his head and looked that bear straight in the eye. The next thing that bear knew, he was upsidedown on the other side of the stream , against a tree.

Angry simply brushed off his ha..er...paws and started in on the trout.(Never mess with Angry when fish are involved).

Angry and Sammy collected a lot of fish. They had to get a rythem going and it took a few tries. Angry would snatch a fish and toss it behind him , without looking. The first few attempts had Sammy smacked in th snout a few time. After a few more fish, they got it down. They thre the fiash in an empty Sammy case and away they went. Cranky and Bmat sat Wide eyed at all the fish. Of course, at that point, Bmat ordered everyone out of the galley (kitchenette?) AND COOKED LUNCH.

They were on their way from there. Sammy drove all night and Bmat came to the front and asked Sammy where all the mountains went.

"no Bmat. Cranky sez to follow dis road straight to da park"

Angry popped up fron , after hearing the conversation, and said" Angry read. Angry just see sign....we still going dere...sign say...Dis way to Space Mountain"

[MerleZ]

Message: Meanwhile in the Sunshine State
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Nov 9, 2000 21:13

Oblivious to the national drama being played out all around them, the Bears blundered into Walt Disney World. With Angry at the wheel, Sammy at shotgun, and Bmat and Cranky crammed rather uncomfortably into the little kitchen table benches, Angry followed the signs to Fort Wilderness Resort. He pulled up to the check in station.

"Hi! Welcome to Walt Disney World! My name's Suzy, how can I help you?" The Cast Member was awfully perky.

Angry looked over at Sammy and shrugged. Turning back to perky Suzy, Angry replied. "Angry need place park 'Bago."

"Yes, here at Disney's Fort Wilderness Campground, we have a whole world of adventure waiting for you. Our 784 campsites have water, sewer and electric hookups. Every evening, there's fireside storytelling. Enjoy horseback riding or hiking. Or have a swim in one of our two pools." Bmat and Cranky fervently hoped bears were allowed in the pools. "Have a delicious meal at Crocket's Tavern. Or you can have a rip roarin' good time at the Hoop De Doo Revue."

"Angry like roaring. See?" Angry gave her his best and most feirce roar. The color drained from Suzy's face at that.

"Um, yes, so I see." She forced a smile and continued on. "So, what's your name?"

"Angry Bear," stated Angry. "Your name Suzy. Angry read tag. Angry like reading."

"Yes, that's so nice!" Suzy beamed at him, already recovering her composure. "Now, let me call up your reservation here....." Suzy stared at her computer screen, tapping keys. "Hmmm....." She tapped some more keys.

"Mr. Bear, I'm not finding your reservation. Could it be under another name?"

"Sammy Bear?"

"Um, no, I don't think so. I don't show any reservations for anyone named 'Bear.'"

Angry scratched his head again. "What's 'reservation?'"

Suzy lost her smile momentarily. "Don't you have a reservation? Didn't you call and ask for a campsite ahead of time?"

Angry was rather confused. "No. Angry not mean come here, but need place park 'Bago." He looked at her cheerfully. "We going to Yellowstone. Bmat get us lost."

Suzy was tapping keys furiously. "OK, I can do this. We're not full, lucky for you. And I can get you a site. How will you pay for this?"

Sammy handed Angry a Valen Platinum Visa, which Angry handed to Suzy.

"Very good. Now, I'll use this to make your first night's rent. I've assigned a space near Bay Lake for you. I'm sure you'll love the view. Sign here."

She pushed some papers at Angry, who proudly wrote his name down everyplace he was told to.

Suzy gave them directions to their campsite, and soon the 'Bago was rumbling down the trail toward Bay Lake, though Sammy's nose started twitching when they passed Crocket's Tavern.

[MerleZ]

Message: Meanwhile back at Bay Lake...
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Dec 14, 2000 12:51


The bears were getting their camp set up, though Angry continually was stopping and staring at nearby Bay Lake. Sammy was equally distracted, stopping every now and then to sniff the air in the direction of Crocket's Tavern.

With everything set up, Bmat and Cranky had settled down at a picnic table to look at some brochures that Perky Suzy had given them. Angry started to wander toward the lake. Sammy stood looking at everyone, then looking wistfully in the direction of Crocket's Tavern. Then, reluctantly, he followed Angry down to the lake's edge, knowing he wouldn't be able to dissuade that bear from fishing....

Several campers were swimming in the lake, and noticed the two rather large bears walking upright in their direction. But Angry and Sammy were oblivious to their points and screams.

Angry walked along the bank for a bit, peering into the water. Then spying a likely bass, he jumped in and made a lunge. A wriggling bass flew up on the bank, and Sammy grabbed it. After just a few minutes, there were several wriggling bass on the bank, and Angry climbed out of the lake.

Angry and Sammy gathered up the fish, and headed back to their camp. Bmat and Cranky hardly noticed them drop their catch on the picnic table, being so engrossed in the guidemap to the Magic Kingdom.

Sammy nudged Angry. "I'se smells some Sammies." Angry nodded and the two snuck off in the direction of Crocket's Tavern.

[Tandara]

Still smarting from Valens comment, implying she was no lady, Tandara takes out her cellphone and dials the phone. She?d show that two bit MRI a thing or to!

She tosses the rest of the ornaments back into the car and smiles as she hangs up the phone. Strolling back into the PATD tandara takes a seat at the bar close to Valen?s table.

Motioning CT over she whispers something in here ear. Giggling CT takes a seat next to the WB and waits for the show to begin.


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"Kinky is using a feather ? Perverted is using the whole chicken"