Women's Sci Fi Fan Club and Sewing Circle 2

[Nommy]

Syc,
No fun when our friends have major boo boo's. Hope you have it under control. Seen a surgeon yet?

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Nommy

[Wizz]

<font face="georgia"> Well, Fan...you do what you gotta do. Sometimes taking care of number 1 has to be number 1 priority. I don't know how you handle your mother-in-law when she visits, but you're perfectly within your rights to ask her to smoke somewhere outside of where you visit with others, and peferably outside. As for not visiting there anymore? Right on! Sure, it will could ruffle feathers, but if she insists on her way, it's basically a compromise to insist on your way. I don't think it's appropriate to tell someone how they can live in their house, so she gets to smoke anywhere there. And, you don't <u>have</u> to go there to be miserable later on. Can't say it's not personal, because it really is personal <u> to you</u>.
Good luck, especially if the brown matter should hit the proverbial fan.

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Do not tempt the patience of Wizzards, for they are subtle, and quick to anger.

[sindatur]

Hi Fan,

I echoed Wizz's sentiments.

I am a smoker and I smoke outside. Partly because I live with a non-smoker, but also I have 2 cats who don't need the smoke in a confined room and also smoking inside makes carpets and furniture smell something awful.

Even when I was single, I was smoking outside for the most part. I actually had to ask my mom and her boyfriend to leave one time because I told them no smoking inside and no matter how nicely or how many times I mentioned we didn't smoke inside, he persisted in doing it, so I asked them to leave. At that point he smoked outside and we had a good dinner.

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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard

[fanuilhgkar]

Thanks, you guys. I would never tell her she couldn't smoke in her own home or I won't come over. It's her house, she can do as she pleases, whether it makes sense to me or not. When they visit here (which is rare), she's always been very considerate and smokes outside, even when it's wicked cold, or hot. So I can't fault her on that.

I do worry about my father-in-law, though. I wonder if his doctor knows he's being exposed to cigarette smoke. I know, it ain't my business. I'm still not looking forward to making this decision public....

I've never been a smoker, and spent years in offices before the government made all their buildings no-smoking areas putting up with smokers, all of whom outranked me. Later, when I was a commander and the smokers complained to me that they didn't have any place to smoke when it was cold and/or raining, or snowing, I'm afraid I had a difficult time being sympathetic. My mother-in-law is addicted, that much I know. She's tried several times to quit and can't. I'm unable to understand what that's like for her, and I should try to be more tolerant. That said, I don't think I should have to make myself sick in the process. So, anyway, we'll see what transpires next.

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[fanuilhgkar]

Syc, I hope you're doing okay. Send up a flare!

I posted the following lengthy diatribe on CZ also, apologies for the repeats to those of you having to wade through it twice, but here I go again....

I hope everybody's Christmas went better than mine. I'm okay now, by the way, but Christmas day around here was very difficult.

It's been getting harder and harder every year to deal with Christmas. The past couple of years I've found myself putting up Christmas decorations and thinking only about having to take them down again. It was depressing. This year I didn't decorate inside the house at all, I just couldn't deal with it. And for those of you out there who also deal with depression, you're familiar with the circling-the-drain feeling you get as you descend into the depths. My bouts of depression are very mild, I know. I don't suffer nearly the sort of torments some people do. But I get depressed, and this Christmas I really had a tough time. Hubby ended up going to his parents' house alone, I flat refused to go. I couldn't deal with the noise, I couldn't deal with the kids, and I could not deal with the cigarette smoke. So I sat home alone all day, pretty much, feeling sorry for myself. Hubby had said he was only going to drop the gifts off and come right back, but he didn't. He stayed for dinner. I can't blame him, I'm sure it was a hell of a lot more pleasant there than it would have been sitting with me.

Anyway, the day after I was able to do a little around the house. I talked to my mother last night, which helped. Today I'm sort of okay. But I've made a New Year's resolution (a little early) that's going to cause some problems with hubby's family.

My mother put it real well. She said, "Don't do anything that upsets you anymore." There are exceptions, actually. Housework annoys me, but somebody's gotta do it. But one of the things I'm not doing anymore is buying birthday cards and anniversary cards for people who can't be bothered to remember our birthdays or anniversary. I'm one of those people who writes down all that stuff on the calendar, then gets the cards and signs them and puts them in the mail. Anybody here ever read any Dorothy Parker stories? She did one on "poor souls." Poor Souls are people who do things like that -- send birthday cards and anniversary cards to people who don't reciprocate. It's not that I expect gifts, or cards. A phone call would suffice. Hubby's family can't be bothered. They've forgotten his birthday three years in a row now. And I can't even remember when they last remembered mine. So, I quit. No more cards. I don't know how long it will take before anybody notices, if they ever do, but I'm done. People who do remember (my mother, for instance) I'll still send cards to. As for the rest -- pfffffttt.

The other unpopular decision hasn't been announced yet either, although my husband knows. My mother-in-law smokes. She's got a cigarette going constantly. We come home from visits there reeking of cigarette smoke, heads aching, sick to our stomachs. I hate it. I've always hated it. I used to make comments about her smoking but I've stopped, because she doesn't care. Thanksgiving I went to dinner there alone (hubby had to work). There were only five of us there, his parents, me, and their friends from Florida. Molly and Pete are nice people, and they've known my in-laws forever, they were in England together. Molly and my mother-in-law are both British, by the way. Anyway, Pete has asthma. Late in the afternoon I found him sitting in the kitchen, when almost everybody else was in the livingroom. He said he had to find somewhere that had more-or-less breathable air. Now, why would someone invite a guest over, knowing they had respiratory problems, and continue to puff away? My father-in-law had heart surgery two years ago, and I don't know if he's said anything but you know all that smoke isn't doing him any good, either. Anyway, I've decided I'm not going over there anymore. I don't know how I'm going to tell them, and I know when I do that it's going to upset my mother-in-law, but I just can't do it anymore. It makes me sick, and I can't see risking my health to avoid hurting somebody's feelings. Maybe she needs a reality check. I don't know.... Back when my father-in-law had just gotten home from the hospital after his open-heart surgery, my mother-in-law swore she'd smoke outside after that. I don't know what happened to that promise.

Oy, this turned out long. Sorry to be so whiney.

Happy New Year!

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[Nommy]

i ALSO AGREE WITH wIZZ.

i CANT STAND THE SMELL OF A CIG IN A ROOM THAT WAS BASICALLY CLEAN SMELLING 2 MINUTES BEFORE. uNFORTUANTELY, MY WIFE SMOKEs and she only smokes in the kitchen, but I hat that whenIm cooking...yda yada yada...bottom line. I cant stand 2nd hand smoke.

As for the depression, my dad has it and sometimes its really bad, but since my mom got cance, he has appeared to put his problems aside for her. Perhaps you can look at others that have nothing and feel better about yourself? Just a thought.

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Nommy

[Sycamore Evenstar]

I'm here. Just had a challanging trip to CZ--had to keep retrying every attempt to get anyplace. Not exactly efficient, but eventially I got posted.

I won't retype everything I posted there--it was a purging. If you want to read a "cryin' in my wine" note, it's all there.

Thanks for all the kind words. I really appreciate it! It's helpful to know that friends care (and that I can unload without excess amounts of guilt--you can skip over everything and never offend or seem uncaring!!)

I called the neurosurgeon's office Wednesday--an "urgent" appointment is Jan 29. Unfortunately, the anxiety medicine I got caused nothing but worse problems (insomnia, jitters, ruminating), exactly what I didn't need! I'm well on my way to basket case and wonder how I will make it through til next month.

Thanks again, Dear Friends!


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[MightyLady77]

Just a thought, Syc...

Can you mug a paramedic for a cervical collar? Don't they carry them as standard equipment?

I'm sorry to hear that the "urgent" appointment date is so far in the future. Wish I could come hold your hand and tell you silly things to ease your mind, Kiddo.

In the meantime, can you change meds? Celexa is good, designed to help one sleep as well as handle anxiety and/or depression. Having had a med CAUSE panic attacks, I know how important it is to find the right one!

Love and hugs to you, Syc.

P.S. Here's the angel you sent, hangin on my tree.
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MightyLady of the Flame Red Hair
Every time I push the envelope, I get a paper cut.

[Sycamore Evenstar]

You're so very welcome for the angel, Bee!

If I were to mug a paramedic, it wouldn't be for a cervical collar! I'd want a lot more for him than that!! LOL!

Unfortunately, the collar relieves symptoms (which there are none) but doesn't heal the spinal injury. It still will come down to how life threatening it is--will a little bit of recreation cause quadraplegia or loss of diaphragm(sp?--1:30 AM!)?

Unfortunately, that med (Buspar) was the last option available. I certainly never expected that reaction--I reread the information everyplace I could find and there's no mention of that sort of thing. I don't think I'll see their rep for quite a while, either--curious whether they've heard any anicdotal reports.

Thanks, again, All!

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[MightyLady77]

Greetings from the snow belt!

Actually, Erie only got a little over 3 feet of snow from 12/27/01 through 01/01/02. It's unseemly to b*tch about it when our neighbor, Buffalo, got almost 7 feet of snow. However, since my car sat from the start of snowfall on Thursday until late Saturday afternoon, I ended up with close to 2 feet of snow on top of the car! With a full-sized stationwagon, that translates into a goodly amount of real estate to clear, most of it at chin level.

I've been wondering how fan is doing down in SC. Are you stuck, fan? I can only imagine the horrors of so much snow in the land of the uninitiated.

On another subject, I've been to the first class of all the subjects I'm taking this term. I'm going to have a lot of fun this term! I've got threee core classes--Network Essentials, Network Administration 1, and Hardware Tech 2--as well as a required course in Business Communications. I'm actually looking forward to learning to be better at revising, editing, and proofreading my writing. Part of the coursework, writing a resume and a persuasion letter (applying for a job), is done. I tweaked and polished them last term for my Professional Development class.

Speaking of classes, it's time for me to return to my homework. It's not due until Monday at the earliest, but I like to get a jump on it. I'll end up with more free time on the weekend that way.

TTFN, kids!

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MightyLady of the Flame Red Hair
Every time I push the envelope, I get a paper cut.