Some food for thought...

[gus danger]

<center>FOR THOSE
WHO LOVE
THE PHILOSOPHY
OF AMBIGUITY
[img]graemlins/smarty.gif[/img] </center>

1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS
AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE
BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE
SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT
CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN
ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL
CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL *******S?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO
REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT?

30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME
DISORIENTED?

34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

[home girl]

That was very funny thanks buddy i needed that.

[PartyGrrrlzzz]

They are very funny Gus [img]wink.gif[/img]

Hugzzz and wet sloppy [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img] zzz

The [img]graemlins/party.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/girl.gif[/img] zzz

[Sportyfan]

***** Cease and Desist Order *****

This is to inform the said parties (ie: Partygrrrlzzz) that said phrase ending with "wet sloppy kisses" is a copyright infringement from the sentence "love and wet sloppy kisses" used exclusively by Sportyfan Inc. Changing the phrase with a [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] and adding ZZZ's not withstanding clearly shows the aforementioned copyrighted phrase. If you do not cease and desist using that ending, you will be subject to a lawsuit filed by Sportyfan Inc. Said plaintiff will seek reparations of $1000 per written phrase...
or a really good tickle fight.

Law Offices of Howard, Howard and Fine

[PartyGrrrlzzz]

I'll spank your A$$ sporty darling [img]graemlins/angel.gif[/img]

Give everyone here an update on how the LOURDS show went [img]graemlins/music.gif[/img]

Hugzzz and wet sloppy [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img] zzz

The [img]graemlins/party.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/girl.gif[/img] zzz
[img]cool.gif[/img]

[Sportyfan]

Sorry for the late report all, but my computer is acting up. Anywho here's that review. The show started around 8pm at Peabodies in Cleveland. Nice club. Has two stages. One for headliners and another smaller one in another room. Local groups play there and when headliners are setting up everyone drifts to the other room. Gives smaller bands a chance to be heard. Anyway Lourds came on at 10:30 and its obvious that they were well known by this crowd. Where the other groups had 20-30 people by the stage, Lourds had them packed in.


Sarah on drums, Lourds with violin and Joey on bass

After talking to the band earlier, we found out that three of the four were sick, but they still kicked it. Great songs like Last Day, Soothsayer Lies and of course Astropop, which is a fun audience participation song. Also in there was Kiss U Soft and they finished up with Supergirl. I love that song. When she sings Supergirl, you can see there's a lot of personal lines in it for Lourds. My son really enjoys seeing them live. This was his third show and my sixth since Chiller (needless to say I like seeing them too!). If you get a chance, go see them. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

[PartyGrrrlzzz]

Yes, US The [img]graemlins/party.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/girl.gif[/img] zzz have to agree, they kick A$$

WE actually just picked up a few of the LOURDS cd's

The debut cd and then
Victory/ Goodbye Losers [img]graemlins/music.gif[/img]

Kicks A$$ baybay

Hugzzz and wet sloppy [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img] zzz

The [img]graemlins/party.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/girl.gif[/img] zzz

[gus danger]

<center>UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
[img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img] </center>

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
(My sentiments exactly)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

4. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at H@@TERS.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

5. If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~! *~*~*~*

8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
*~*~ *~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*

18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

21. If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out of her nose?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

24. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells
"THEIRS"?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

TTFN

GD