“We all have secrets. The secrets we keep, and the secrets kept from us.”
“What we perceive about the world is really seen through our conceptual framework and senses, which according to the theory of representative realism or indirect realism, all that we know of the world is mediated through sense datum. We don’t necessarily see things as they are but what our humanity enables or limits us to see, mediated by sense datum. Remember what we see as a moth, a Fruit Bat might see as a radar blip.
Dr. William Tyler released the button on the mini recorder in his right hand and rubbed the bridge of his nose with the left. The day had gone entirely too long, and while no one waited there, he was ready to go home.
“Doctor Tyler?” Stephanie’s voice came over the intercom.
“Yes, what is it?”
“Your last appointment is here, Tommy Webb.”
Tommy Webb, former addict, six months clean and friend of Bill W. He had been a tough case, and Doctor Tyler had made many visits to Forest Ridge the nights that he was picked up.
“Send him in, please.”
He glanced at the small clock on his desk, before he adjusted the lilac tie at his throat. He stood and started toward the door, just as it opened and offered his hand to the man that entered. He noticed that Tommy was finally starting to put on a little weight. The mixtures of heroin and whatever else he could shove into his body to dull the ‘Screaming Pain’ as he called it, had left him a frail looking man, for his height of Six-four.
“Tommy, it’s nice to see you again.” He grasped the man’s hand and noted that even his grip had more strength to it.
“Hey, Doc.” His voice was still too mousy for his size. A man of that stature, used to trying to shrink to disappearing from view.
William turned slightly, and held a hand out indicating for the other man to have a seat, and once Tommy passed, he moved toward the desk as well.
“What brings you out to see me again? You are looking well.”
“I am doing good, Doc. I--even asked Mary out.”
“Mary? The check-out girl?”
Tommy smiled and nodded. He even showed that he was slowly taking advantage of the grocery chain’s dental plan.
“Way to go!”
“Thanks, Doc.”
“So, you are here just on a visit, or is something wrong?”
Tommy looked at him, a moment in the eye, then he stared at the floor and started to pick at his nails. Old habits from their time before.
“You know you can talk about anything with me.”
“I know, Doc...”
“Then what is it?”
“I’m past six months clean.”
“I heard, and that is terrific.”
“Remember what you said?”
William thought over their many sessions, in the office, in hospitals and even in jail buildings.
“Which time, Tommy?”
“When I was six months clean, you’d tell me.”
“Oh. That.”
Tommy looked at the Doc, no dropped eyes, no picked hands. He was wanting the man he trusted to put that same trust into him. Put something into his hands to know that life indeed, isn’t always beautiful.
William swallowed hard, suddenly wishing he had a glass of scotch to wash back the memories, and drown out the words.
“She was my patient, Tommy. I treated her the same way that I’ve helped you and countless others. The drugs I prescribed, combined with the drugs she chose and a bottle of expensive drink clouded her reasoning. She stole a car, ran from the police that only wanted to see her safely home. While running, she lost control of the car--”
“What kind of car was it?”
William blinked from his story with the interruption. No one ever asked him that question before, especially while he spoke.
“1962 Porsche Speedster.”
“Convertible?”
Tommy loved cars as much as he loved music at one time. The time before drugs and screams pushed him over the edge. William nodded.
“Beautifully restored to flawless perfection.”
“Damn shame, about the woman and the car.”
“She claimed that her husband loved the car more than he loved her, Tommy.”
“What kind of man would love a car more than a movie star, with a smile and body like she had? I mean a car’s a car... and that one would be damn nice to own, but it’s not got the touch, the smile, the smell of a woman.”
At times, his patients could stun him with their words.
“Me, Tommy... me.” William sighed, and checked his watch. “I’m going to call this session to an end, feel free to drop by any time.” He stood and forced a smile to his stunned patient.
“Holy shit, Doc. You? It was your wife? God, I’m stupid, if I would have known, I never would have asked. You were workin’ with me the night you got the call. Then back the next day?”
“That’s how I coped, Tommy. I’ll see you around.”
William turned and walked from his office after pulling the door open, and left it standing that way. He passed Stephanie without saying a word, on the way to the parking lot. He pulled open the door to the Cadillac then slammed it shut so hard it rocked the entire car.
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