Very nice story of Molly's afternoon-night. I like how you brought up the subject of the British writer, Enid Blyton. Thanks for sharing your writing! [img]graemlins/star.gif[/img]
Have permission from the mods to post the story.
Do not own any of the characters, American Girl LLC do. The only thing I own is my imagination and nothing more. Copyright laws and all that. Not getting any money off of this, only a few smiles. This story is for the younger and older readers. Please R&R and enjoy.
Scarlett Slipper
Molly?s Mysterious Discovery
Chapter one- Girl Detectives
Molly McIntire sat on the porch steps, clutching her mystery book, tightly in her hands. She held her breath for a split moment, her eyes moving frantically reading the story with great speed. She barely felt the autumn breeze tugging on her two braids, or the thumping of the basketball that banged against the garage door. Molly?s only interest at the moment was a scene which had one of her favorite heroines facing another dangerous ploy. Her breath began to increase speed with each word that she read. Would the girl detective survive from the dastardly villain in the book? Or would this be her last mystery to solve? Only a few pages more and she would know for sure!
Concentrating on her favorite book, she barely heard the incoming warning from her brother, Ricky. With a thunderous thud, the basketball bounced from her head, on to her book, causing it to fall on the pavement, and roll down towards the driveway. Molly glanced up to see Ricky dart cross the yard, grab the runway ball, and dash down the street.
?Ricky!? Molly glared towards her brother. But, it was too late to yell as Ricky had vanished. Molly gave off a sigh; she glanced down towards the fallen book that had once been in the safety of her hands. ?For once, I wish I was an only child.? she thought to herself, picking up the article and dusting the dirt off. ?You are lucky to be an only child.? She said out loud towards the cover?s picture.
Molly closed her eyes, as the wind gently touched her cheeks, just like a parent soothing a child. Being the only sibling in the household. That would be so fun, no Brad, no Jill and especially no Ricky! A smile spread across her features. Just imagine, no others to share the bedrooms, the holidays, and her parents! No fourteen-year-old Jill, telling her to act her age. No, twelve-year-old Ricky to thud basketballs on her head, and no five-year-old Brad to baby-sit! How wonderful would that be?
Memories drifted in her head, one of her and Jill, curling their hair for a party, another of her and Ricky swapping jokes together and then one of her and Brad playing with Bennet. Molly opened her eyes, her face full of sadness. Maybe, it is good to have brothers and sisters, even if sometimes they were annoying. Molly was glad to have Jill, Ricky and Brad. She could not imagine her life without them. She needed brothers and sisters. Especially now that Dad was away. Molly?s father was a Doctor, who was now overseas, somewhere in England, helping with War. Molly clutched the locket around her neck tightly. Every time she really missed her father, the locket reminded her that he was always close by, in her heart.
Molly glanced towards down the street, waiting for her Mother to return from the Hospital with Emily. Emily Bennet was an English girl staying with the McIntires, until her sick Aunt felt better. Emily had moved in during last spring. Emily had to evacuate London because it was now considered dangerous for children. The War had caused a lot of families to split apart, both for the British children and the American children. Emily missed her parents as much as Molly missed her father. Emily was brave to leave London behind and cross the Atlantic to come all the way to Molly?s hometown. Molly was glad to have Emily as a special guest at her house. Emily was the exact same age as Molly. They loved pretending that they were Princesses, being brave for their countries. Having Emily live with them was like having another sister. A sister who could share secrets, adventures and best of all, have fun with.
A familiar figure caught her swift eyes; she stood up from the porch and raised her hand to cover the afternoon sun that touched her silver glasses. Molly?s smile spread even wider, watching her Mother and Emily walk slowly from the bus stop. Molly raised her hand away from her glasses and waved towards them. Emily spotted her and waved back. Molly let out a giggle, watching Emily walk closer, her steps very proper and short. Unlike, Molly?s galloping stride.
Emily wore one of Molly?s old school dresses. It fit her perfectly. Emily was smaller than Molly and much skinner. The children in London had little to eat, and both clothes and food were rationed. The purple dress suited Emily just fine for the moment. Mrs. McIntire had promised the girls to go clothes shopping on Saturday. Molly hoped that they could each get one new outfit, something similar, something sisterly. Molly could not wait to go shopping with Emily. It would be Emily?s first shopping trip in America.
Molly heard her mother call Ricky to go back to the house for dinner. Emily gave a friendly smile towards Ricky when he joined them. Emily and Ricky loved to talk about the many different War airplanes that flew over London. Ricky?s room was filled with pictures and drawing of various aircrafts, from both sides. He loved airplanes, but had never seen one up close. When Ricky discovered that Emily had seen a lot of different airplanes flying over London, he was more intrigued with the English girl. Emily pointed out to Ricky the types of airplanes and corrected the ones he had wrongly named. They had quickly become friends from sharing a common fascination.
Nearing the house, Emily rushed towards Molly, ?Molly!? she said in a whimsical English accented voice. ?You will never guess! Aunt Primrose gave me money for a new dress! Isn?t that grand??
Molly smiled towards her English friend. ?That is fantastic, Emily. I cannot wait to show you our department store. Daffodils is the best in town. Mom and I always shop there.?
Mrs. McIntire walked up towards the girls, ?All right you two, get inside now. It is starting to get rather chilly.?
Molly gave off a giggle, ?Mom! You just sounded like Emily!? She glanced towards Emily as they shared a smile.
?I did, didn?t I?? her mother replied with a smile, ?It is good to learn new ways of saying things. Right, Olly Molly??
Molly nodded, ?Emily is learning new American terms too, Mom.? she gestured towards her friend, ?Come on, Emily. Say something.?
Emily?s cheeks turned a light rose tint of coloring, ?Very well, as you wish, Molly.? She cleared her throat before changing her accent changing a tad differently. ?You got a swell place here, Mrs. McIntire.?
?Emily, that was terrific! You could become a famous actress some day.?
Emily smiled at Mrs. McIntire?s compliment. She loved going to the movies with Molly, Susan and Linda. Susan and Linda were Molly?s closest friends. And now that Emily had come to live with Molly, the girls had become great friends.
They entered the warm house to the smell of delicious food welcoming them.
?Mmm..? spoke Ricky, ?Smells like Mrs. Gilford made her famous potato soup.?
Molly nodded in agreement. There were many foods that were not available because of the war. Milk, butter, and sugar were rationed. Meat was scarce, but there were plenty of vegetables to be eaten. Mrs. Gilford had forbidden having canned vegetables in the house, because the soldiers needed them more. So, all during the summer, Mrs. Gilford had planted a Victory Garden. ?Fresh vegetables are healthier for you.? was her motto.
Both Molly and Emily helped set the table. Molly made sure that everything was set in its proper place. Mrs. Gilford nodded with approval, making Molly smile.
?All right.? Mrs. Gilford spoke in a business tone in her voice, ?Sit down before the soup becomes a lumpy cold mess.? Ricky made a face, making Mrs. Gilford turn towards him, ?We will not have nonsense at this table, Ricky.? Ricky slowly nodded, nobody crossed Mrs. Gilford.
Molly imagined Mrs. Gilford in the army. She could have been a great drill sergeant. She could see Mrs. Gilford ordering the soldiers, ?Make your beds correctly, that is not how we make our beds in this army!?
Jill entered the kitchen carrying Brad. Both looked tired. Jill helped Brad settle next to Mrs. McIntire and then sat next to Molly. Molly glanced at Jill, her sister?s eyes were half opened and her face looked like someone had filled it with several balloons. Jill did not look well.
?Jill, you look like green goblin that ate a green watermelon!? Ricky?s voice floated in Molly?s ears. Ricky was right! Jill did look like a green goblin!
Mrs. McIntire shot up from the table, ?Oh dear.? her voice was full of concern. Walking towards Jill, Mrs. McIntire put a hand on Jill?s forehead. ?You are burning up, go upstairs to bed. I?ll bring you some soup.? Jill weakly nodded and left the kitchen table. Molly watched her sister walk wobbly up the stairs. Jill was rarely sick. Molly hoped that this would pass soon.
?Mom, Brad looks sick too!? Ricky?s voice sounded worried, Brad was sitting next to him and he looked like he was going to explode, all over Ricky!
Mrs. McIntire sighed, ?Two sick children. I?ll take Brad upstairs. Molly, Emily, can you two wash the dishes and clean the kitchen?? The girls nodded. ?All right, I forbid anyone else to get sick. I do not need to open the McIntire General Hospital.? They all knew Mrs. McIntire was joking on them getting sick along with Brad and Jill. Taking Brad in her arms, Mrs. McIntire left the kitchen and went straight upstairs. Leaving Molly, Emily and Ricky to finish their dinners in silence.
Molly quickly finished the rest of her potato soup. It was nice and tasty, not to mention warm for the early autumn chilled night air. Gathering the plates, she set off to start on the dishes. Emily helped dry them and Ricky put them away. In no time, the kitchen was spotless.
?There! All done!? Molly said in a proud voice. She turned towards Emily, who had been quiet for most of the dinner and clean up. Molly looked at her friend closely, Emily looked pale. Concerned for her friend, she gently asked, ?Emily? Do you feel sick??
Emily glanced towards Molly for a mere moment and turned her head, ?No, I am fine. Thank you.? Emily was always polite.
Molly put a hand on Emily?s shoulder, something was bothering her friend and Molly wanted to help. ?Something is wrong, I have a feeling. Are you homesick again?? She knew her friend missed her family and London. Molly would have acted the same way if they had to switch places.
?Aunt Primrose is feeling much better. She told me today that they are finally going to release her next week. I..I have to move to her house.? Emily announced.
Molly stood agape. Emily leaving? No! her mind screamed. She loved having Emily there. The house would seem different without Emily?s voice and Yank?s bark. Swallowing down a cry, Molly?s voice was strong, ?I am glad that Aunt Primrose is feeling better and sad that you are going to leave, but we will still each other every day at school. And besides, you are only going to be a few blocks away. We will see each other a lot!?
Emily nodded, ?Yes, only we will not be staying at night, talking, laughing, and reading out loud to each other.?
Reading? Molly smacked her forehead with her hand. ?Reading! My book! I forgot it outside!? They both ran out of the backdoor and onto the porch. Molly found her book where she had left it. She grabbed the article in her hands, giving a sigh of relief that it was not ruined, and went back inside the house with Emily.
Ricky had already darted towards the living room to listen to his favorite radio show. Molly and Emily both knew that once Ricky hogged the radio, there was no chance that they would get to listen to their favorite show, which aired the same time as Ricky?s.
?Let?s go and read.? suggested Molly. Emily nodded. They quickly darted up the stairs and into Molly?s room. The sounds of happy barking greeted them once they were inside. Both Molly?s dog Bennet, and Emily?s dog Yank were sleeping in their dog beds. Seeing the girls, they jumped out of their beds and came running towards them.
?Good boys!? Molly gave each of them a pat on the head and then went towards her drawers for her pajamas. Emily followed Molly?s lead. The friends changed and crawled into bed. The night was a bit chilly, so both girls wore their robes.
Molly opened the book, which she was reading before. ?I haven?t read this in a long time, and it is one of my favorites!?
Emily glanced at the cover of a book showing a teenage girl, surrounded by small model ships and holding a map of some sort. ?What type of book is that?? she asked with curiosity. All summer the girls had read various books, fairy tales, adventures and travels. But none of the books looked like the one, which Molly now had in her hands.
Molly?s eyes sparkled when she answered Emily?s question. ?It?s a Nancy Drew book. I love Nancy Drew books, they are my favorite mystery series.?
Emily looked perplexed, ?Nancy Drew? I have never heard of Nancy Drew. Who is the author??
Molly?s eyes widened, ?Really? You never heard of Nancy Drew? Or Carolyn Keene?? When Emily shook her head, Molly continued, ?Carolyn Keene is the author of the Nancy Drew books, there are around twenty of them in the series right now. This one is her nineteenth. ?The Quest of the Missing Map? It is one of my favorites. Nancy Drew is a girl detective; she has two friends that help her solve mysteries. Their names are Bess and George. In this book, Nancy has to solve a mystery involving a map. The map is hidden in a secret compartment.?
Emily then asked, ?George? Is that a boy??
Molly shook her head, ?No, George is a girl. But she likes being called George. She is more of a tomboy, who loves sports. She is unlike her cousin Bess, who is the opposite, and loves dresses.?
Emily nodded, understanding, ?Oh! Like George in Enid Blyton?s books!?
Now it was Molly?s turn to be confused, ?Who is Enid Blyton??
Emily giggled, ?Enid Blyton is our Carolyn Keene. Her mystery books have four detectives, but called, ?The Famous Five.? There is a George in her books too, who is a girl! And she has three cousins, Julian, Dick and Anne. Anne is like your Bess. As you Americans put it, very girly.?
?Really!? Molly was surprised that there was a similar mystery series in England.
Emily nodded, ?Here, let me show you.? Emily jumped off the bed and darted towards Molly?s closet. Emily took out her small suitcase and opened it. Molly watched from the bed, curious what Emily was doing. Emily took out the article, and headed back towards Molly?s bed. ?Here. This is an Enid Blyton book. I only have one because there are only three out so far. Because of the war, it is hard to print them in London. This is her first one called, ?Five on a Treasure Island.?
Molly looked at the cover of the book, it had four children rowing on a boat towards an Island, ?Emily, you said that there were four detectives. Why is the book called Famous Five??
Emily giggled, ?The fifth character is Timmy, who is George?s dog.?
?Nancy has a dog too! His name is Togo.? said Molly in an amused voice. Molly?s eyes gleamed, ?We have to read your book, Emily!?
Emily nodded, but before she could respond to Molly, a voice came from the doorway.
?Alright you two, it is bedtime. Lights out.? Mrs. McIntire had entered the room to bid them goodnight.
?Goodnight.? they both said when Mrs. McIntire tucked them in bed. ?Sleep tight.? she answered back.
The girls then glanced at each other, ?And do not let Ricky bite.? giggling themselves to sleep.
Very nice story of Molly's afternoon-night. I like how you brought up the subject of the British writer, Enid Blyton. Thanks for sharing your writing! [img]graemlins/star.gif[/img]
What a neat story about Molly and Emily, I really enjoyed reading it! Thanks for sharing it with us. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
Cool story! And very well written. [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] I've read just about all of the Nancy Drew books, and I remember reading 'The Quest of the Missing Map.' I always thought that Nancy was rather stupid to believe that note ("But, Hannah, the note says I have to come alone!"). LOL.
Anyway, I can't wait to read the next chapter! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
Thanks for sharing! [img]biggrin.gif[/img] Nice story, and I agree with the above poster, it is well-written. [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]
Lindsey [img]graemlins/star.gif[/img]
I don't think you answered me last time. [img]frown.gif[/img] Do you get someone to help edit this, or do you do it yourself? My stories are generally awful without an editor...!
[img]graemlins/star.gif[/img] --- KERI --- [img]graemlins/star.gif[/img]
I read Ria's story and did a bit of editing but I didn't nitpick too much since she's not a professional writer and it's just fan fiction. If it were a school assignment I would have pointed out things teachers would look for, but it's just for fun. Plus Ria gets major props for knowing two languages and not being totally confused! I thought it was great and look forward to reading the next installment!
Keri, this is about FUN, not grammatical perfection. If a critique is not asked for then it should not be given. Period.
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Actually, the post does say to R&R which stands for Read & Review. The request for feedback doesn't differentiate between negative and positive responses. That being said, I don't think Keri meant anything terribly critical with her question. If the story was self-edited, that's pretty amazing since it is notoriously difficult to edit one's own work.Originally posted by Grapedy1982:
Keri, this is about FUN, not grammatical perfection. If a critique is not asked for then it should not be given. Period.
As regards the story, it was very cute. I always like seeing people come up with new adventures for these characters [img]smile.gif[/img]
<font color="#33CCCC" size="1">[ October 21, 2006 01:29 AM: Message edited by: Sara N ]</font>
Ria,
That Chapter was terrific--now when can we expect Chapter 2? I'm curious to know what happens and I want Molly's siblings to get well soon!
You are so creative! I'm not sure I could ever write a whole chapter or story either like that.
SaraN, I like your signature picture--it's really cute!
[img]smile.gif[/img] Katie
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