Mrs C brings up a very good topic "Memories"

[bgeurtz]

My Dear Mother, who is gone now, was a "Doll Collector" but she collected what she liked and left it to me, only my DB also wanted some of them.
One item she had was the first "Big" Barbie, because I eventually had a "girl" she wanted to have a collection for her.
I thought she was collecting for herself, she asked me to find a "Big" Barbie, the first one. I did and mailed it to her in the original box. Then when she got sick, she said "Here, this is for your DD, sorry I never got the rest of them" Along with all the Christmas Barbies. Now all this stuff is in my closet and I have her memories, and I need the space, but can't bring myself to get rid of it.
How do we handle "Memories" that we didn't choose, or maybe now we've moved on to something else (AG) but they are all so sentimental. Any help on this subject would be appreciated.
[img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img]

[Donna Cotterman]

Words of wisdom... We enter the world without anything and will leave the same. The dash between the dates is what is important. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

When you hold on to the collection beyond the memory.. it becomes a burden. When you find someone to share the collection... then you share the memory and the story continues. The dolls, salt & pepper shakers, books, glassware... they are beautiful in the displays... but the moments shared and smiles, laughter and even tears are what live on... at least five generations..maybe more.
Now your job, young Jedi.. is to let go and let God. There is someone.. family, friends or even a history student that would love to share the first person story of your mother, you and the dolls.
It will be difficult at first. Maybe one doll for the family that is down the street that can't afford toys. Maybe a niece or cousin's child that needs to feel like a princess during a down time... There is always hospital wings and libraries that display dolls. Sort the dolls and let them go to good homes. Send a story with them and a hug from your heart. Remember a seed planted can rest in the ground many years before it germinates, grows and blooms. The same thing happens when we give away things with memories attached.
Now the hard part is to really let go.. you have done your part...now trust the Lord to use the object and the love in giving to work. This is difficult at first but soon becomes such a joy that when the closet is empty... you wonder what you will give away next. [img]smile.gif[/img]
My bicycle ... a college student needed to get around campus and I can't pedal like I use to.
Good Luck and blessings. ^j^ Mrs. C.

PS. If you have financial needs then by all means consider selling the dolls or if you know of charity you would like to donate to in your mother's memory... it's another option.

<font color="#33CCCC" size="1">[ August 19, 2006 01:41 PM: Message edited by: Mrs. C. ]</font>

[danaspillar]

Wow,we need more people on earth like you, Mrs. C. Very inspirational. I am sure I have a few "memories" to spare.

[agcollector293110]

Mrs. C that was very well put! I love your thoughts and ideas!

[bgeurtz]

Wow, you blow me away. Thank you for your kind comment Mrs.C. I do let go of things that are mine, it's just my DM's things that keep holding me back. And god forbid something gets broken, and it does, I am so crushed, I feel the hurt for a long time.
Or is it guilt, that I haven't taken very good care of her things? [img]graemlins/cry_smile.gif[/img]
How do you let go of "things" that don't mean anything to you, except they were your Mothers?

[only1genevieve]

If it's a burden, I would pick one or two that you really love. Then, take nice pictures of the rest so you have a reminder of them. Then you can find new homes for them [img]smile.gif[/img]

But speaking from experience, please ask your family if they want them first! There are many family keepsakes that my mother and I would have loved to have that relatives just got rid of without asking. If there are other girl cousins or if you have sisters, wouldn't it be wonderful for each to have a vintage Barbie from Grandma this Christmas?

[dalmatian101]

Very well put Mrs. C............I think part of what you're feeling is quilt. Your mom thought it was important and was doing it for your DD so you feel quilty not feeling the same way she did. Save at least one for your DD from Grandma, she is sure to treasure it down the road.

[muppetquilter]

It is so hard to let go of things that belonged to someone you loved who is gone. I imagine it is much, much harder to do it when that someone you loved picked them for a child you might have someday. It is an incredibly sweet story and that love-- your love for your mother and your mother's love for you and for a potential granddaughter is so much stronger than any toy or colletible.

I would pick out a few favorites to keep. I would probably keep a couple dolls for your own DDs (or potential DDs) and a couple for potential DDs your sibling(s) could/do have. I would want to make sure each granddaughter had a doll carefully collected by Grandma.

After that I would let go. First because you do not ever want the dolls to become a burden instead of a special treasure-- your mother, I'm pretty sure, would not want that either. Second because those little girls might be into Barbie but they might not-- they need to be able to pick their own interests and their own ideas of what to collect. Finally, I think dolls should be loved and enjoyed and not live in a closet so I would want to see them go to homes where they will be loved for themselves (yes, I did read the Velveteen Rabbit too many times as a child).

I think finding special homes for a few would be a lovely thing to do and might make you feel much better about letting go. You might take them to a children's hospital. I have friends with a young daughter fighting cancer and I know people showing up at the children's cancer ward with little gifts for the kids really helps the kids get through tough times.

You might also decide to sell them. I imagine the collection is worth a fair bit and perhaps your mother would have enjoyed knowing she was able to help you out financially-- help you take a vacation you've always dreamed of, help you pay off a student loan, help you complete an AG collection you've been working on for years (after all, you and your mom shared a love of dolls).

I have some furniture that belonged to my (paternal) grandmother. Some of it I love and will keep for always because it was hers and because I genuinely like the piece. Some I am working up to letting go of-- one piece at a time-- because I love that it was hers but I don't love the furniture. I have my memories and I have the memory of my grandmother wanting to help me out when I was first starting out on my own (she died my senior year of college and wanted me to have some furniture in my first apartment). I can let go of the things-- even if I have to do it slowly.

Honestly, I think whatever you are comfortable with is okay here. Love is so much stronger than anything-- collectibles break and get lost, people are only here for a short time, but love lasts forever.

[bgeurtz]

Is there a Barbie HB, or something simuliar??

Maybe I'll contact Ang, maybe she can help me.

Don't suggest Yahoo, I can't remember my password and it won't let you do anything with out it. And trying to get a new one is impossible.

[bgeurtz]

Oh, MuppetQuilter, you are so sweet. And you all are right, it's time to find some of this stuff a new home. I want my closet back.
Saving for Grandchildren is silly, because how will I ever know what they like. DGD has taken to AG, but I'm not going to save Barbies, or Antique dolls for her, she didn't know my DM. AG's is what she is sharing with me. She has Barbies and plays with them but I will not burden her with my Collection. Why on earth would she want Military Barbies? They need to go.
Okay, tomorrow I will make an album of items I want to get rid of, but I will only PM it to people who ask, don't want to post here as none of it will be AG. Regular posters and lurkers, come out of hiding, and PM me this next week.
Let the closet cleaning begin! [img]wink.gif[/img]