Boredem

[cebula_2005]

ROTFLOL!

A man and his buddy were walking in the woods when a bear started chasing them. The bear was a few feet behind the men when one of them stopped to put on his nikes. The other man said to the first man "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!" The first man said, "I don't have to, I just have to outrun you..."

[cebula_2005]

Tongue twisters!:

Rubber baby buggie bumpers.

Suzy sells sea shells down by the sea shore.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather red

Betty Botter had some butter,
"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
it would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter--
that would make my batter better."

So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
and she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter
bought a bit of better butter.


Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?

Old oily Ollie oils old oily autos.

[img]smile.gif[/img]

[thepidget]

Thanks, Tra! I can't believe I forgot the woodchuck one.

Also, try this one on for size:

Toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat

I just wind up saying "toy boy" or "tobo"...haha. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[[email protected]]

Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unique New York.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A big black bug bit a big black bear,
made the big black bear bleed blood.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

Joy [img]wink.gif[/img]

<font color="#33CCCC" size="1">[ May 15, 2006 04:28 AM: Message edited by: djsnjones ]</font>

[[email protected]]

One smart fellow, he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, they all felt smart.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pope Sixtus VI's six texts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The shells she sells are surely seashells.
So if she sells shells on the seashore,
I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Smith's Fish Sauce Shop.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Surely Sylvia swims!" shrieked Sammy, surprised.
"Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Tudor who tooted a flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to their tutor,
"Is it harder to toot
or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

<font color="#33CCCC" size="1">[ May 15, 2006 02:21 PM: Message edited by: djsnjones ]</font>

[[email protected]]

In a software design meeting, we were using typical technical jargon to discuss a data exchange interface with a vendor. One co-worker said the programming we had ordered was delayed because the vendor was suffering from a "severe nonlinear waterfowl issue."
?
Curious, the team leader raised his eyebrows and asked, "What exactly is that?"
?
The programmer replied, "They don't have all their ducks in a row."

[13Pumpkins]

Originally posted by simplepretty:

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Oh, now that one is funny.

[img]smile.gif[/img]

[BohemianMare]

Kit 1934, you come up with some of the best quotes! [img]smile.gif[/img]

[schillil]

as for the tongue twisters my favorite is the Tweedle Beetles from Fox in Socks

[thepidget]

Originally posted by djsnjones:

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

<font color="#33CCCC"><font size="1">[ May 15, 2006 04:28 AM: Message edited by: djsnjones ]</font></font>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Joy!!! AHHHHHH!!!! I CAN'T EVEN SAY THAT ONE SLOWLY!!! LOL... Thanks for posting all the tongue twisters.

[img]biggrin.gif[/img]