Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
*breathes*
Bwaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
*is dying laughing*
<font size="4">Dave Barry's 18 Things it took Me 50 Years to Learn</font>
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a
clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that
even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized
protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
*breathes*
Bwaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
*is dying laughing*
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Who would have thought Dave Barry was a toy collector! [img]eek.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img]3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
<font color="#cd6600" size="1">[ January 14, 2005 04:28 PM: Message edited by: madadman ]</font>
ive always liked daves stuff. thats funny as hell
so true... so true...
Dave Barry is fantastic! I even love his fiction work... I read Big Trouble, but haven't read his latest one yet.
I heard this morning that he's retiring. But who really retires anymore anyway?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's for sure. Just look at KISS. [img]wink.gif[/img]Originally posted by dizzzzy:
I heard this morning that he's retiring. But who really retires anymore anyway?
I'm really going to miss reading his columns. I hope he keeps his band together, though I've never heard them.
And Michael Jordan, and Ozzy, and....
I didn't need Barry to tell me I have mental illness, I am smart enough to have diagnosed myself long ago. [img]wink.gif[/img]
Maybe he's just retiring the column in the paper?
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