People I work with

[Ersby]

The guy who sits behind me at work is so fat, he can't wipe his own arse. This means as the day goes on, he increasingly smells of shit. If I'm lucky, he won't poo until after lunch, but on Friday, he took his first dump at 10.30! By the end of the day I was almost suffocating!

If he doesn't move, it's okay. The problem is when he sits down - his chair let's out a little puff of guffy air which heads straight for me. When he walks past is a problem too.

I should bring in an air freshener, but I don't want him to ask why I've got an air freshener on my desk. I suppose I could say "Because I need some fresh air." He's a nice guy, so it's kind of a delicate subject.

On the plus side, the women I sit next to is very cute.

[Ersby]

Oh, and I know that the thread should be "People with whom I work", but heck, it's Monday morning...

[3peanuts]

[img]graemlins/gulp.gif[/img]

[Ersby]

Plus, I know he said he was a nice bloke and everything, but he's a borderline racist. We have some Chinese women at work and when they're with each other, they speak Chinese. One day, this guy (we'll call him Jack, since that's his name) mimicked them to us while we were at the pub. He simply said "Ching chong ching chong", while pulling his eyes with his fingers to make them slanty. I thought people stopped doing that in 1981.

This racism is merely a part of a general deriding of everything. I'm sure he thinks it makes him look adult and world-weary. I think it makes him look immature and scared of saying he likes anything for fear of ridicule.

Does anyone else work with someone they'd like to make fun of on a barely-visited internet forum?

[JaceSan]

That reminds me of one of the nurses I used to work with. I'd chat with her sometimes outside the facility while we were smoking. She wore more make-up than Tammy Faye Baker. We also worked with a number of Filipino women. Tammy Faye wasn't exactly racist, but didn't like when the other nurses would speak tagalog around her. She told me, "I just know they're talking about me."

I replied, "Probably. They talk about you in english when you're not around." Flicked my cigarette and wandered off. I enjoy fucking with people like that. Especially if they deserve it.

Sorry 'bout your stinky co-worker. Take up smoking. Kills the sense of smell rather adequately.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ October 09, 2006 04:37 PM: Message edited by: JaceSan ]</font>

[Ersby]

You can't smoke in the office. Go figure: stinking of shit, that's fine; smoking, no no no no.

Talking of clumsy racism, I share a "pod" (ie, bunch of desks pushed together) with five other people. The cute Austrian, and a Greek woman who I can't work out if I fancy or not. Then there are two guys, an Irish/Spanish guy who's not really Spanish at all, and a guy from Mauritius. He's got dark skin.

One day, the Irish/Spanish guy asked the man from Mauritius if he knew any decent Indian restaurants. He said "No. Why would I?" and the Catholic replied "Oh, you know, it's part of your culture and all..." and then he trailed off, realising what he'd said.

He tried to make a joke about it, by asking about Chinese restaurants too, but it was too late. The Mauritian didn't take offence, but it was still quite funny.

[3peanuts]

Oh well, mostly my co-workers are just homophobes. Not in a nasty way, just in an ignorant way.

One of them is very scared (she's really "phobic") by homosexual guys. She would comment harshly every time she sees two guys together, no matter if they are just in a meter radius from each other, no matter if they really are gay. She says things as "it's the trend nowadays".

We call her "grandma" cause she's 34, the oldest in a rather young group.

I am getting pissed at my coworker A. who likes considering with a certain disdain other people's passions and hobbies. He says disdainful things at me every time I say something about liking comics. Next time I swear I'm going to give him a proper answer, cause he's getting on my nerves more than he would if he joked about lesbians.

And then there are the secreteries, who haven't realized they work for the firm, not for the boss, so everybody who is not boss is automatically considered a piece of furniture.

Which is not considering we do all the work. Well, some of us do, others just help keeping the air saturated with C02.

[Ersby]

And another thing (I love saying that) have you noticed how often people ask you what you're eating, and then when you tell them, they say "That's bad for you"? The next time someone says that I'm going to throw what I'm eating against the wall and then hug them while sobbing "You saved my life, man."

[5Cats]

I think you ought to mention it to Mr Stinky, not while at work but in private some place. Do a little research, perhaps there's a medical device that can help? The bum equivalant of a back-brush?
I have the IBS, so I need to clean up after an 'attack' otherwise...eeeew!

I'm especially sensitive to B.O. it really sets me off. Twice in different daycares there's been a woman (from India, not sure if its cultural or what) who's stank to high heaven. You could smell it across the room. If she walked down the hall it would linger for 2-3 minutes.
In both cases my co-workers were too chicken to say anything, so I had to chat with the boss. Ugh!

[Ersby]

Nah. I'll just get an air freshener and hide it somewhere near my face.

In other news, I've deduced that I really have no chance at all with the women I fancy at work.

Maybe they think I'm the one who stinks of shit.