People I work with

**Ersby** · October 18th, 2006, 07:15 AM

Today, the guy who sits next to me (who doesn't stink) was talking to the Greek woman (who he fancies) while eating an orange. All of a sudden, mid-sentence, he makes a noise like a cat hacking up a hair ball and spits out a pip.

Class.

**Ersby** · October 18th, 2006, 08:59 AM

Plus, I just went for a poo, and the guy in the cubicle next to mine wiped his bottom nine times. Ater the fifth time he took paper from the roll, I thought, surely it's clean by now. Apparently not.

Anyway, the number of times you wipe your arse is nothing to write home about.

**5Cats** · October 19th, 2006, 02:27 AM

HUmmm, 9 times eh? That's really weird.
I mean, I have bad things going on back there sometimes. If things get really bad I use a wet-wipe thingie. A diaper wipe! The best invention since sliced beer!
Perhaps that's what he needs, they do make them for adults too, eh?

**Ersby** · October 23rd, 2006, 06:13 AM

And this morning, the guy who fancies the Greek woman must have a cold because he's wearing waaay too much after shave. My workplace is just one big nasal rollercoaster.

**Ersby** · October 23rd, 2006, 12:59 PM

Now he's chewing bubblegum and making popping noises, which is really annoying, and he's listening to music on his headphones and waving his head back and forth like a mental patient who's just has his TV watching priviledges taken away from him.

**Ersby** · October 24th, 2006, 07:01 AM

Today he came in early and sat down at his desk, stuck his hand up his t-shirt and liberally applied deodorant to his armpits. Why wouldn't you do that in the toilet? Do I brush my teeth at my desk? No.

He's weird.

Then he hocked up some phlegm into our shared waste paper basket.

On the plus side, when I joined this place, no one said "Good morning" when they arrived at the office. Now they do. That's a good sign.

And the cute Austrian woman came in this morning and took off her coat by flapping her arms like a bird. She's adorable.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ October 24, 2006 04:04 AM: Message edited by: Ersby ]</font>

**Ersby** · October 25th, 2006, 08:24 AM

This morning I woke up at 2.00am and couldn't get back to sleep.

I keep glimpsing the guy next to me dabbing his chin with a tissue. Is he dribbling? Maybe he squeezed a spot. Boy, I'm glad I didn't see that.

**Ersby** · October 26th, 2006, 12:25 PM

So we went to the pub at lunchtime, and I noticed that the guy who stinks of shit has a habit of simply repeating whatever funny things other people say, but adding the prefix "Yeah, ..." That's bizarre.

Just now, I went to the toilet, and as I came out I went past this Spanish woman who I fancy who was at the water cooler. I smiled, but she looked a bit awkward. I guess that most women are unwilling to make eye contact with men as they're coming out of the toilet.

Even though I'd washed my hands and stuff.