LOTR: exercises in creative writing

[GeekGirl]

I know all you scenario lounge/lair/stp town people will enjoy this...

Straight Dope Boards: If LOTR had been written by someone else?

Take care, all.

[RichC]

That's some great stuff. I'm sorrly tempted to do a wrestling version.

[August]

Thank you GeekGirl. Some very funny and good writing.

25 pages, 225,000 views. [img]eek.gif[/img]

I'm inspired and have just registered. My first effort will be a poem titled 'Rangers in Paradise' Now who wrote the original? [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[bachelorette]

This made me remember of somethin

If LotR were written by MOnty Python:
For better understanding, imagine:

John Cleese as Gandalf
Eric Idle as Saruman
Graham Chapman as Elrond
Michael Palin interpreting ALL the hobbits
Terry Jones as Galadriel
Terry Gilliam as Gollum...


Gandalf will notice that the hobbits know as "how to be not seen".


They will not visit Tom Bombadil, for he will be busy practing silly walks.


Instead of fish, Gollum will desire SSSPAM, SSSPAM, SSSPAM, SSSPAM, SSSPAM ....


Out Mallorns in larches! The Larch! Number One: The Larch!


Suddenly John Cleese appears, sit on a table in the middle of Rohirrim plan, saying: "And now for something completely different."


Trying to enter in Bree.
"What's your name?"
"Meriadoc Brandybuck of Shire"
"What's your mission?"
"Find and destroy the one ring!"
"What's your favorite color?"
"Blue - no! red! Aaaaaauuuuuggggghhhhhhh!"


Meanwhile:
Theoden invites Gandalf to chose any horse he likes. Then, Gandalf starts to ask about several types of horses, and for each on Theoden says that unfortunately he doesn't have it. So in the end:
Gandalf: "Do you have any horse?"
Theoden:"Oh yes, sir! The best horses of Middle-Earth!"
Gandalf: "Is it truth?"
Theoden: "Truth? No, sir."
Gandalf: "Right! Unfortunately, I fear I'll have to shoot you."


In the way to Rivendell, Aragorn explains Sauron:
"He's not the Dark Lord – he's just a very naughty boy!"


Liv Tyler carries Frodo e Pippin tries to explain the hobbits what is she:
".... Soooo... if Arwen has the same weigh of a duck, she is???
- An elf! an Elf!"

In Rivendell, Elrond declairs: "And the company of the walkers shall be ten . . ." Glorfindel: "Nine, sir!"


Uuuhh.... M?ria:


"A Balrog! Run away, run away!"
A Balrog appears and throw Gandalf for the abism with a fire arenque.
Soon later, a voice can still be heard from the hole: "I'm not dead yet!"
The fellowship of the ring scapes from Moria because the animator suffers an heart attack and cannot finish drawing the Balrog.


Whe Aragorn finds Boromir after Merry and Pippin being captured:
"Brave Boromir, Your death shall not have been in vain!"
Boromir: "I'm not quite dead, sir."
Aragorn: "Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain."
Boromir: "I think I could pull through, sir. In fact, I think I'm all right to come with you."
Aragorn: "No, no, brave Boromir. Stay here. I must accomplish this in my own particular..."
Boromir: "Idiom?"

PARTE II


The Rohirrim knights in fact possesses people beating coconuts behind them.


Faramir just wants to sing! "I'm a lumberjack..."


When Gandalf appears in Fangorn:
Aragorn: "We thought you were dead!"
Gandalf: "Ahn... I got better."
In this moment, Radagast is seen at the back trying to tide coconuts in birds and then throwing them up.


The Helm's Deep battle is won, thanks for the most funny joke in the world, said in the orcish language and a Big foot smashing the orcs!

[Lulu]

I tried to post this on the site, but was unsuccessful:

One day when Frodo and Sam were out walking, they came to an open place in the middle of the 100 acre shire, and in the middle of this place was a large oak-tree, and, from the top of the tree, there came a loud buzzing-noise.
Frodo sat down at the foot of the tree, put his head between his hands and began to think.
First of all he said to himself: "That buzzing-noise means something. You don’t get a buzzing-noise like that, just buzzing and buzzing, without its meaning something. If there’s a buzzing-noise, somebody’s making a buzzing-noise, and the only reason for making a buzzing-noise that I know of is because you’re an evil entity."
Then he thought another long time, and said: "And the only reason for being an evil entity that I know of is tormenting me."
And then he got up, and said: "And the only reason for tormenting me is so as to get this ring." So he began to play with the ring on it's chain and he sang a little song:

Isn’t it funny
though I don't need money
I'm stuck with this silly gold thing?
Ring! Ring! Ring!
I wonder why I want so much to wear it?

Then he paced a bit, and sang another song:

"It’s a very funny thought that, if Hobbits were Ring Wraiths, They’d not hunt us but invite us (me and precious) for tea. And that being so (if the Ring Wraiths were Hobbits), We shouldn’t try to toss us in a fiery sea."

Samwise, who was a very round gardner, had been watching Frodo closely and with a strange expression all this while. "Are you all right, Master Frodo?" he asked.

"Samwise," said Frodo. "Does that look like a small black cloud to you?"

Sam looked up. "Tut tut," he said with trepidation, "looks like Nazgul."

[5Cats]

Hahaha! Lulu! That would make Rabbit the Dark Lord! Oh noooo! They're after my honey, er, Ring! Would Kanga and Roo be elves??

I bookmarked the site, am too busy with the brand new Home of the Underdogs (V3.0)

www.the-underdogs.org

[Lulu]

Yes- and Christopher Robin would be Gandolf- because he's the one who drags Bilbo and Frodo - bump bump bump- down the stairs!

(Checking out your website 5Cats!)

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ February 07, 2003 09:06 PM: Message edited by: Lulu ]</font>

[Branflakes]

These are great! So is that thread. Great imaginations.