-
July 31st, 2003, 01:39 AM
#1
Inactive Member
Jessykat - "But WHY is the RUM gone?!?!" may not respond because his or her status is set to Out To Lunch
Jade says: (7:18:23 PM)
???Out to lunch at this hour?
Jade says: (7:18:28 PM)
???Oookaayyy
Jade says: (7:22:54 PM)
???Maybe I will tell you a story. A long, involved story that takes up tons of space and keeps you reading for an hour, because you left your messenger on knowing I might come back to an "Out To Lunch" message.
Jade says: (7:23:07 PM)
???Maybe I will make myself the hero of this story.
Jade says: (7:23:13 PM)
???You can be the villian.
Jade says: (7:23:28 PM)
???The NEGLECTFUL FRIEND villian.
Jade says: (7:24:46 PM)
???So, the Hero was really heartbroken because the NEGLECTFUL FRIEND villian left her all alone, and even though the hero was very heroic and very independant, sometimes we need our villians to amuse us and remind us why we exist. It's the foil thing that all major authors know about.
Jade says: (7:25:00 PM)
???You study it in English, I'm sure.
Jade says: (7:26:24 PM)
???Anyway, the hero had a hard day of being heroic and drinking large portions of beer, and she fell into a slumber. When she awoke, she found herself naked except for a bikini top and her room mate's nasty cutoffs that are covered in paint and smell like turpentine.
Jade says: (7:26:43 PM)
???This made her TRAGICALLY MOROSE.
Jade says: (7:27:45 PM)
???So she crawled over to the tap after bravely staving off naseua and extreme headache and turned the water on.
Jade says: (7:29:30 PM)
???Needless to say, she was so exhausted after her major exertion that she fell asleep, with the water on. Within, presumeably, minutes, the water began to fill up the sink, which was nicely clogged with tea bags and dirty mugs and teaspoons. The water rose and rose and began flowing gently down the side of the cabinets and onto the hero where she lay, comatose.
Jade says: (7:32:17 PM)
???When she awoke about an hour later, it was to the screeches of the EVIL LANDLADY LADY who was standing over her threatening to disembowl her with a fork. At this point both naseua and extreme headache pounced on the hero, causing her to become even more TRAGICALLY MOROSE than she already was.
Jade says: (7:34:24 PM)
???The water had soaked her room mate's shorts and little bits of paint floated over the glossy turpentine scented surface of the large pool of water, which was also causing it to take the finish of the brand new linolium. This was apparently the major cause of the EVIL LANDLADY LADY's rage. (That and the fact that the water was dripping down into her apartment below.)
Jade says: (7:35:30 PM)
???Several hours and bottles of aspirin later, the hero had finished cleaning up the puddle, got changed, apologised profusely to the enemy, and turned on her laptop to take comfort in her peers.
Jade says: (7:36:27 PM)
???But as they are being NEGLECTFUL, the hero is simply sitting around continuing to be TRAGICALLY MOROSE, while the EVIL LANDLADY LADY types up an official complaint to have on file in case she ever feels like kicking the hero out of her apartment.
Jade says: (7:36:30 PM)
???The End.
-
July 31st, 2003, 02:11 AM
#2
Inactive Member
y'see .... if you had waited a mere 15 minutes more, you would have caught me. i was watching Oz. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
that made me giggle. *g*
-
July 31st, 2003, 02:12 AM
#3
Inactive Member
*cries and blows nose with a small handkerchief*
that was the most bootiful story I ever heard!
-
July 31st, 2003, 04:58 AM
#4
HB Forum Owner
God, I hate these modern angst-filled idiots they call protagonists. Crap, all of it.
-
July 31st, 2003, 04:12 PM
#5
Inactive Member
Oh, so THIS is why eris suddenly signed off Messanger while we were talking...
I see.
*pulls out hockey stick*
*waits for eris to return*
-
July 31st, 2003, 04:23 PM
#6
HB Forum Owner
See, it was a joke...
When I said I was leaving...
and... um... it would be easier for you to catch me if you actually turned your messenger back on...
-
July 31st, 2003, 04:33 PM
#7
Inactive Member
That was such a tragic story. I think I'm close to tears. No, wait, that was just an ant crawling across my face.
Now, by Messenger, do you mean Yahoo or MSN?
-
July 31st, 2003, 04:49 PM
#8
HB Forum Owner
-
July 31st, 2003, 04:56 PM
#9
Inactive Member
Ah. You seem almost afraid to answer, eris. Don't worry, the ants haven't learned how to fax themselves, yet.
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ July 31, 2003 01:56 PM: Message edited by: Pirate Kitty ]</font>
-
July 31st, 2003, 06:10 PM
#10
HB Forum Owner
Oh, give them time. They're crafty little critters.
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
-
Forum Rules
Bookmarks