STPTown gets hard-boiled (a group story)

[crazy a]

There's a million people in the city and each person has a story. Love. Heartache. Success. Failure. Sex. Murder. All that and more. The city is the biggest damn library you'll ever find and to get the stories, you just need to ask a question or two and the whole thing is there for the taking.

But this isn't about the city. It's about a town. STPTown, to be exact. Population....who knows? The number fluctuates any given time. People come to visit. Some stay for a while then move on. Others stay for the long haul. The number of people living there is so small, it's probably not even a TOWN, technically. Maybe a village. Or a hamlet. But who the hell cares? The people of STPTown sure don't.

The people are from all walks of life: teachers, students, computer geniuses, condom store clerks. And they come from all over. From North and South America to Europe to Australia and all points in-between. A group of strangers finding a common paradise.

The people like to have a big time, too. Once, someone suggested having an invitational auto race. And they used the whole friggin' town as the track. I was there and I'm still not sure if anybody actually won that thing.

Unfortunately, they also have crime. That's where I come in. My name's Crazya. I'm a private eye.

I was sitting in my office, if you can call it that, on the phone with the landlord, trying to explain that I'd have his rent due him. I set the receiver down on the desk, opened a drawer and pulled out a bottle of gin. I uncapped it and took a hit. I could still hear the voice coming out of the phone, tiny and angry. Well, the rent was way overdue. He had a right to be angry. I picked up the receiver.

"Yes, Mr. Moore, I know how much I owe, I'm keeping track of it...."

Jabber.

"Yes, I'm aware of that, but business has been slow lately..."

More jabber.

"Thank you sir. Have a nice day." I hung up while he was in mid-sentence. Fucking little gnome. There was a knock at my door. Jesus Christ, I thought, now what?

"Come in."

The door opened and she came in. She wore a tight-fitting red dress and high black heels. The hair was short and the lips were red. Red meant danger, death. I didn't care. I couldn't take my eyes off her as she walked towards my desk, moving her hips the way only few real women can. When she spoke, her voice was dark, sensuous. The kind of voice that whispered secret lusts into your ear at midnight.

"You're Crazya, the private dick?" she asked.

"The sign says I'm a private eye. But I've been called a dick, too."

She smiled at that. I had a sudden urge to grab her and kiss that hot red mouth.

"I'm in need of some help," she said.

I looked her up and down and up again. "Lady," I said, "I don't know if I can give you the help you need." She smiled again, this time showing teeth. I wondered if she liked to bite.

I offered her a cigarette. She put it between those lips and I lit it. She inhaled, coughed, threw it on the floor and stepped on it. I couldn't stand it any more.

"Listen," I said, "business isn't happening and I've got a landlord breathing down my neck. I can use a classy lady like you. Come with me and let's ditch this place. Whaddaya say?"

She looked at me coolly with dark eyes.

"I don't swing that way."

Well damn. I took another hit of gin and put it away. I motioned her to sit down. She did with a grin. I bet she got a secret pleasure from doing that to guys.

"Okay, what's your name?"

"Bran. Bran diFlakes."

"Alright Miss diFlakes, my rate is three hundred a day."

"Money is no problem."

I looked at her. A beautiful, classy, rich dame right in front of me and she doesn't swing my way. Damn damn damn.

"Miss diFlakes, why don't you go ahead and tell me what the problem is."

She took a deep breath and began....

<font color="#776446" size="1">[ December 04, 2002 01:36 PM: Message edited by: crazy a ]</font>

[Branflakes]

(considers putting Crazy a in a leisure suit just for putting her in a red dress and heels [img]wink.gif[/img] . *ahem* back to the story...)

"Look, some friends of mine are missing," Bran diFlakes said in that same luscious voice.

Crazya leaned across the desk, telling himself it wasn't to get a better look down the plummenting neckline that refused to cover much of her front. "When's the last time you heard from them?" he asked.

"It varies. Some, it's only been a week or two. Others, months."

"How many friends are you missing?" Crazy asked. He forgot about the cleavage. This case might be interesting. And worth a lot of dough.

Bran shook her head side-to-side slowly. "I don't have an exact number for you. At least ten I can think of. I've got names. And I can tell you when I last saw them."

Crazy whistled out an exclamation. "At least ten? And you think they're all missing due to foul play?"

Bran shifted in her seat. "Yes. I went by most of their apartments and houses..."

"You have a key to all these friends' homes?"

Bran's eyes locked onto Crazy's and that toothy smile snuck across her face. "I have ways of getting inside."

Crazy considered pressing for more details. Ms. diFlakes was quickly proving to be more than she let on. Instead, he said, "Alright. So, you went by some friends' homes. What'd you see that made you suspect foul play?"

"All of their stuff was there, like maybe they'd run out to the store for just a minute. Dirty dishes were in the sink, scratches of paper with ideas and suggestions of different topics were scattered all over. A few even had their computers online or TV blaring. Or both." Bran paused and withdrew something from her purse. "Plus, I found one of these on top of each keyboard." Bran reached across the desk and set a card down. Crazy looked at the plain white business card. He looked up at Bran.

"Flip it over," she said.

Crazy picked up the card and turned it over. Printed neatly in black letters was a simple sentence.

'With each one that leaves, our power grows.'

Crazy read the sentence several times and set the card back down on his desk. "Have you called the cops?" he asked.

"No," Bran said. "The cops in this town have never been able to get things done."

"True," Crazy conceded. That was one of the reasons he hadn't joined the force when he'd left the army. "You have any idea what this card means?"

"No. That's why I'm hiring you. I want your help to figure this out." Bran said.

Crazy looked down at the card, then back up and Bran. Were her lips really that red? "Ok." he nodded. "You've got yourself a private eye. First place I want to start is over at..."

A knock interrupted him. Bran's eyebrow lifted slightly and she turned to look at the door. What the hell? Twice in one day? Crazy thought. He sighed.

"Come in."

The door swung open...

[usmu]

Meanwhile on a country road not to far from STPtown, usmu smiled. He forgot what a pleasure it was to drive with the top down at a comfortable high speed through the countryside. Slowly he started to recognize the surroundings.

It had been ages since he'd sold his shop, left STPtown and moved to the metropolis of Livejournal. All in all it had been a good thing. The Family had taken care of him and he had taken care of them. From tending bar to selling their goods, he used his skills and they valued them.

One of his major skills was knowing when to move out of town for a while. Fortunately he'd been able to keep his appartment in STPtown and keep it a secret to the folks in Livejournal, so things should work out fine.

<font color="#776446" size="1">[ December 10, 2002 12:59 PM: Message edited by: usmu ]</font>

[AsIs]

I wake from a sound sleep. My flight back into STPtown had come in very late and it was a hell of a long exhausting trip!

I'm still shaking off just waking up, as I enter the living room. "Damn! I left my computer on..." I realize with a chill. I look up on notice a open window, "Why the hell is the window open! It's like 20 degrees out!!! Damn I can be a moron at times!" I turn to my two kitty cats. "OK, which one of you opened the window?"

The cats just stare back at me with a look of indifference.

I sigh, "It's good to be back in STPTown, I have missed this place."

<font color="#776446" size="1">[ December 11, 2002 11:14 PM: Message edited by: AsIs ]</font>

[usmu]

After parking his car, usmu entered the bar that gave access to his apartment. Smooth jazz wafted from the speakers. It was still the same dim lit, smokey joint it was all those years back.

Instead of going straight up to his rooms, usmu sat down at the bar. "Bartender, the usual" he ordered. Jake, the bartender and once colleague looked up. "And what might that be?", he said looking annoyed. I think you know, Jake." Suddenly Jake began to smile and pulled a bottle of whisky from the shelve. "Yes I do, as a matter of fact. What's bringing you back in town my old friend?"

Wanting to keep things simple usmu put it down to a vacation. Which met with some disbelieve, but that couldn't be avoided, no matter what the story. After a couple of drinks and some old memories usmu was ready to go upstairs.

"Oh I almost forgot, the apartment almost had a visitors recently" Jake remembered. "You know my cousin? The blond one.I let him stay there on some occasions, since you gave approval, and he was scared shitless by somebody walking on the roof, at least that's what he says. He bolted out of here and never came back, left the tv on, left half his dinner too. He called me a couple of hours later, the wimp. I went to check and nothing had happened. Only window was open. Nothing was missing so I closed it.

Called the cops the next morning, but they didn't come until a couple of days later. They made a report, said if there was a burglar, he must have been scared shitless as well and that was that. Since there wasn't anything missing and such I didn't bother to call. Hope you don't mind."

Of course usmu did, but he didn't let it show. This was not a good time to start an argument. He went up to his apartment, unlocked the door and pulled out a gun out of his coat. He slowly pushed the door open. Nothing happened. Usmu did a thorough search of his apartment, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Starting to relax, he took a shower. This had to be looked into. First thing tomorrow.

[Miral the Nurse]

The private di- er eye and Ms. diFlakes looked up startled at the clatter at the door. Sounded like hell was trying to break loose... or in. "The door is unlocked!" And with that utterance a disheveled half-naked woman stumbled through the door. Her hazel eyes were large and imploring, her breasts were large and heaving, and her hands... they were imploring too, but smaller in comparison. "Help me, oh god help me."
Recognition stirred across Ms. diFlakes face, but disappeared at the sound of the woman's voice. Crazya stared at the woman for a moment. "What can I help you with?"
The woman stood there for a moment looking confused. "I have no idea who I am... or where I'm from... or where I am." A photograph appeared in her hands. "I think this man might be able to give some answers." With that she tossed it to Crazya, but Bran caught it and stared at it for a moment.

[Lulu]

(Who says mouth to mouth doesn't involve tongues?)

SHE was a ROCKSTAR- and it had been a crazy life! Fast times in the big-city clubs and stages of New York, Chicago and LA. And now her career had brought her here- to this little dirt town. The town where she was born.

Lulu stepped out of the Limo and surveyed her old haunt- STPville. Dressed in black leather, shades pulled down over her eyes even in this hazy early-morning light, she took a long drag on her cigarette. What HAD her publicist been thinking?

Oh- that's right. "Tour the midwest. You've got lots of fans- do you good. Stop by that crazy town I found you in- remember? You were singing in a crappy garage band?"

Crappy? The "Bangle Stars?" Crappy?! What a jerk! Ok- so none of them could play, and at the time they couldn't sing- but no one at "Over the Rainbow" convalescent home had cared! Grandma had been rockin' away! (And that cute lili' candi-caner.. what had her name been? Oh- brandi something. Hmm. Wonder what she's doin' now...) Lulu mentally slapped herself for the thought.

Well. Maybe one last gig in her old hometown wasn't such a bad idea after all- get some of the old gang back together. After all, since her break-up with FIREBIRD, she just hadn't been the same...

Bad boys were her one weakness. Bad boys with fast cars.

Lulu stepped back into the limo and let it take her to the hotel- where she would meet up with the rest of the band. The long, sleek, black car zoomed toward town, stirring billowing dust in it's wake.

[img]graemlins/star.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/star.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/star.gif[/img]

[usmu]

Damn, what was he thinking. This needed looking in now. With everything going on back home this couldn't wait. Maybe Jake had done something stupid, maybe it was one of the locals. He didn't know, but he needed to. Being back had made him soft.

Cursing himself usmu went downstairs. Jake was keeping what was left of the whiskey company. It was the only company he had. Which was a lucky break. "I need two things Jake" usmu told him. "First that picture of your cousin, you and me fishing. Secondly, is that private dick still in business?"

Pocketing the picture usmu stepped outside. The moment he saw the limo coming round the corner he ducked back into the doorway. If they had tracked him this fast it meant very serious business.

The limo pulled up at the nearby hotel. The woman getting out of the car looked familiar. It took a while for him to remember, but in the end he did. Fancy her being back in town. Well it might be worth a visit to the lounge of the hotel later. A dry smile glanced across his face.

But as usual it was business before pleasure. He jumped into his car and drove off tires screeching. Hopefully Crazy A would be a bit more cooperative than that last time.

[AsIs]

After closing the window, I turn to go back into my room, when I hear a knock on the door.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

Irritated, I call out, "HOLD YOUR HORSES, I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE!"

Quickly I pull on a pair of jeans and denim shirt.

"Geeze, where's the fire..." I mutter as I open the door.

Opening the door I spy the redhead. Drop dead gorgeous redhead. No question where the fire is now...

"You have to come with me!" Red urgently says.

"I don't think I'll have a problem with that." I reply without thinking. "Ohhhhhh... You mean we have to go somewhere... What's up?"

She glances nervously over her shoulder. "You...I mean, we have to get out of here. There isn't time to explain. I need you to trust me," She implores. "Will you trust me?"

I stare into her green eyes, dumbfounded. Green eyes to die for... I absently flash back to a distant memory until she takes my hand. Broken from my reverie, I reply, "Yeah, sure I guess. Let me throw some food in the cat bowls and put some shoes on."

"Hurry!" She implores, standing next to my computer.

"Sure, sure. Hey, do me a favor and shut down my computer. Otherwise the cats will surf the net and use all the money on my credit cards." I joke as I dump food hurridly in the cat bowls. "Ok, ready to go!" I turn to her.

She takes my hand and leads me to the door.

I inquire, "So where are we going..."

<font color="#776446" size="1">[ December 11, 2002 07:50 PM: Message edited by: AsIs ]</font>

[crazy a]

I reached out and diFlakes handed me the photo. I put it on my desk, face down. I turned back to this new visitor.

I couldn't believe it. Two hot broads in my office and one of them was half naked with amnesia. Maybe she would swing my way. I looked over at diFlakes. She didn't seem fazed by this intrusion. Interesting. She looked like she was eyeing this woman with a hunger of her own. My mind reeled at the possibilities. Then my sense of duty took over.

I sat the blonde down. I went to a closet, pulled out a spare shirt I kept there and gave it to her. As she put it on, I turned my attention to diFlakes.

"Okay Miss diFlakes, I'll take your case." I gave her my card. "This has my work and home number. You can call me any time, especially if you have any new info I can use."

Bran in turn handed me a business card. SAPPHO'S RETREAT. I'd heard of that place. It was a lesbian brothel. Very high-class, very popular. I looked at her.

"You work there?" I asked.

She smiled. "I own it."

Of course. I thanked her and told her I'd be in touch. As she walked to the door, I couldn't take my eyes off her butt and how it bobbled under the red material. Life wasn't fair.

I turned to the blonde. She looked up at me with the biggest beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. I fixed a cup of coffee and gave it to her. She took a few sips as I sat down. An amnesiac. How the hell does one begin to question a person with no memory? I'd have to take her down to the station, let the cops handle it. I hated to do that because those jokers were a lost cause themselves. I'd see what I could find out first.

"So ma'am...you say you don't know who you are or where you're from."

She nodded.

"Well right now you're in STPTown. Does that ring any bells?"

She thought for a moment then shook her head.

I asked if she had a purse or anything with her.

"No, just that picture," she said.

I looked at the pic. A clean-cut guy, chiseled features. The kind of guy who would probably be a little snot because all the girls go ga-ga over him. I didn't recognize him. But that didn't necessarily mean anything.

"Do you know this person?" I asked.

"I don't know...I don't think so...." Her bottom lip was quivering.

"Can you recall anything at all?"

"Everything's so fuzzy...I just don't remember!" She started to cry. I gave her a tissue then phoned the police. I explained my situation, but didn't mention the photo, and told them I was on my way. I hung up.

"Will you be able to help me?" Her voice was that of a little lost girl. She looked at me with those big wet eyes, her cheeks shiny from her tears. A little lost girl that was trapped in a body that was all woman, a body that screamed out SEX. God was laughing at me, I knew it.

"We'll do all we can, Miss." I put the photo in my desk drawer, grabbed my coat and hat and led her down to my car.

On the way down the stairs, I became curious. "Tell me, how did you know to come to me?"

"Oh, I saw your sign."

"My sign?"

"Yes. 'Private Investigator'? You find people,don't you?"

I nodded. She didn't know who she was but she had an idea what a PI was. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not. I'd find out.

I opened the front door of the building and we stepped into the sunshine.