If you're this guy you shouldn't write...

[jb_617]

...or: ?Why wanabe writer/directors are a pain in the ass.?

An interesting thing happened to me on the way home last night. Someone who knew a guy I did some script editing for last year called me up and asked if I would help out with his latest project.
?Ok,? I tell him. ?what do you want me to do??
?Well I have this idea for a film and I wanted you to write the script. Do you think you could??
?Any money in it?? I ask, knowing the answer.
?Weeeeeeel, no.? He whines. ?It?s no-budget.?
?That?s cool,? I have no objection to working for free in my own time. ?What?s your pitch??
?I want to do a movie about 3 young couples in London.?
?Sounds interesting. Do you have something already or do you want me to write the whole thing??
?We have 60 pages or so but we?d like you to look over them and finish off the script.?
?Great,? I say. ?I?ve been working on something similar on my own, maybe this could work out for us both.?
?Yeah, yeah,? He enthuses. ?I read your stuff for XXXXX and it was great!?
?Ok, well I?ll start sketching out some plot and characters, when do you want to see something by??
?Oh well I can get the camera?s and kit on tick from a mate and I?ve already booked the locations for the first two weeks in April so could I have something by the first of March??
Click.

Now just what the hell is wrong with people like this? He?s already booked the locations? I haven?t put pen to frigging paper yet (or fingers to keyboard if you?re literally minded)!

I tell you, I come across this shit about 2 or 3 times a year these days. Why do people think like this? I?m calling it the curse of the indie filmmaker. Some guy is sitting around in his parents lounge with his mates and they ?decide? to make a movie. What?s the first thing they think of? Story? Character? A wrong that they want to right? No. They think ?Hmmmm, I can get a camera from X and hey! There?s that abandoned quarry at the edge of the village, wouldn?t that make a great location and we could get it for free!?

It drives me mad. It takes 6-12 MONTHS to write a decent screenplay and another 3-4 after that for pre-production. Why does someone think that they can get through all of this in 4 weeks? I will not have an opening in 4 weeks. There?s no way I can plot out 50 or so scenes and no way they can break them down.

The Writer/Director is one of the most annoying things ever when they have no clue what they?re doing. ?We have 60 pages or so but we?d like you to look over them and finish off the script.? To me says: ?We just sat down and started writing with no clear idea what we were doing. Then we got to the middle of act II and ran out of steam. Please fix my bad script for free and DO IT NOW!!! We want to shoot this thing in the school holidays!!!?.

Has anyone else had a similar experience or have any thoughts here?


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The last angry writer.

[miker]

Just ask Coppola about Apocalypse Now. Hired half of Korea (or wherever it was) and his script wasn't finished. Damned amateurs.

But I know where you're coming from .... there's taking a calculated risk and, well, just being stupid.

[jb_617]

Yeah, it's like Woody Allen. I heard that sometimes he's still writing the script while the movie is being shot.

The dig diff is that he's:

a) One of the best screenwriters in history

b) Got a few $$$'s behind him

c) Shooting in a studio.

How the hell am I supposed to write a script based on the 3 or 4 locations that the producer can secure. I believe in the "limitations increase creativity" argument but what if I NEED to set a scene in a certain location and I can't have it. I have to go back and re-write the whole damn script.

Script FIRST then think about production. That's all I'm saying.


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Francis Ford who?

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ January 31, 2007 09:05 AM: Message edited by: jb. ]</font>

[emjen]

What keeps boggling my minds is that so many wanna be filmmakers start their first film with a huge cast-60 minute short.

My advice is, AT LEASST start fucking around with acouple of 4 minute shorts first because your first short will end up like shit-- no matter what.

But I keep seeing it and seeing it. Grande ideas. Sure. But they havent even held a camera yet or been on a set.

Good luck to them I say.