Weapons of...?

[rocketmaster]

At New York's Kennedy International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

Attorney general John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like 'X' and 'Y', and, although they are frequently referred to as 'unknowns' we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle.' "

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

[gus danger]

WHY I SHOULD BE RE-ELECTED by G.W. Bush

-I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.


-I appointed more convicted criminals to the administration than any President in U.S. history.


-I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy
in the history of the United States government.


-I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history.


-I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.


-I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.


-I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war"
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.


-I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).


-I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President
since the advent of television.


-I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year period.


-After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
security failure in U.S. history.


-I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.


-I have set the alltime record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.


-I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.


-I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in war time.


-In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.


-I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans(71%)
view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.


-I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.


-I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.


-RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
-All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.


-All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.


-All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.


-PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

[rocketmaster]

[gus danger]

<font size=5>Bring It On Shrub!</font>
Power to the people! //oo\\
[img]graemlins/rainbow.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rainbow.gif[/img]
Gus

[rocketmaster]

[gus danger]

[gus danger]

I noticed in a more recent photo that Powell's nose is growing too!

Kerry is leading Bush in the polls now by 12 points!!!!!!!!

Yippee ty yi yippee ty yo!
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Gus

[rocketmaster]

Top 11 reasons Dubya said he favors the death penalty for Saddam Hussein.

11. It's one of the things he misses most about being a governor.

10. Had to pull a lot of strings to delay Hussein's capture until the governing council worked out the script for his execution.

9. Sentence would be carried out in late October, 2004.

8. Trying to undo some of the Kissinger Karma.

7. Unaware of an alternative.

6. With less evidence against them, he's sent a lot of other folks to their deaths.

5. Jeb has surpassed him in total executions.

4. You can't convert your oil reserves from dollars to euros from beyond the grave.

3. He's sent a lot nicer murderers to their deaths.

2. Halliburton has been awarded the contract for his funeral.

1. He just really likes the death penalty, okay?

[gus danger]

The [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] less bass turd just had his own [img]graemlins/dog.gif[/img] executed!
How can he be such a [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img] ?
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GD

[gus danger]