The psycology of the freelance drummer

[Dazzler]

Well there seems to have been a lot of what I deem to be superficial topics being brought up on here recently such as "what does Vinnie wear?" where people are happy to debate Vinnie's tracksuit bottoms all day long, so I thought I'd ask the more discerning HODers their opinion on the psycology of what we do.

As a professional freelance drummer I supplement my playing by teaching at two schools, which I am enjoying more and more since I made a conscious effort to be more patient and less demanding on my students. That aside, I get booked to play in a wide variety of situations from pop gigs, to big bands, jazz, film and tv sessions, but recently I have been struggling with the whole "waiting for the phone to ring" thing. As I don't have my own band (I did have a quintet, but knocked it on the head due to no promoters/venues ever calling me back and the gigs I DID get, were to a bunch of old men who wanted to tap their feet along to 'All Of Me' all bloody evening! I know I should be more pro-active in getting gigs and I am trying to do so, by going to jam sessions and sitting in, having plays in the day with friends etc.

But my question is this: I have found it hard to deal with the whole psycology of getting and not getting gigs. Recently I have been questioning what it's all about and what the hell I am doing. I'm now 32 and have (without name-dropping) done some really nice work, but I am finding it hard not to analyse why I'm no longer playing with people I used to. I know that there will always be flavour of the month players who will go through periods of getting all the gigs, but in terms of jazz and pop gigs, it can be difficult to to rationalise why the phone can stop ringing for days.

You see, if you're passionate about music and really give a shit about what you play then it can be hard not to take it personally when you go through lean spells. Also, by the very nature of what we do, we can't ring up band leaders and ask them why they haven't rung you up to do a gig with them in a while or to ask your friends why they chose so and so over you. Don't get me wrong, it's not the green-eyed monster creeping in as I can honestly say that I'm friends with all my drumming peers and we all pass each other work, but due to the nature of being a self employed musician, it can be hard to get your head around and VERY easy to over-analyse why you are not at a level you would excpect to be, given the work the work and level that you have known in the past.

As I write this, I know that all it takes is one, just one phone call for a tour/session/ gig to come in and I'll be on cloud nine, grinning from ear to ear saying to myself, nice one - THIS is what it's all about! But it's the interim periods that can be difficult to deal with. Sometimes I think that it would be great to have a 9-5, where you go to work, do your day, come home, get your regular money and you know exactly where you are.

The life of a freelance musician can be the best in the world if you are playing with people you want to be playing with, making music that is challenging you, creating, improvising and developing yourself and your art. But when you are practicing for what seems like fuck-all reward, you wonder what it's all about and where your career will be in 10 years.

Sorry to get all morbid - I REALLY don't mean to and this isn't a sob story as believe it or not, I am busy with gigs at the moment and playing and recording with lots of different groups, but consider this post a reality check for myself and I'd be interested to hear your views.

[XNavyDrummer]

Important and sobering questions Dazzler.

I played full-time for 20 years. But after the wife and kids came along...those lean periods were no longer about just myself getting by but about trying to care for my family.

So, for me the big question was, could I find something else that I could be passionate about, take care of my family and yet continue on with the music part of my life?

Since falling into the ranks of those with a day gig, I've still been able to pursue my musical aspirations, get some instruction from Dave and Hamilton, build up my arsenal of equipment, practice, study, teach and continue to make music contacts. And I've run into many musicians in the same boat...highly skilled and serious musicians who happen to work a day gig.

I still don't like the lean periods musically, but now they don't have the sting that they once did...when that was my only focus.

[Dazzler]

Intersting, cheers for your thoughts Andy and this is coming from a drummer that I respect having seen vids of your playing mate.

In any other field, it would be possible to get feedback from a boss or a colleague, but unless you're playing with mates, it's very difficult to assess how other musicians/band leaders/producers found your playing.

Wew are simply left to give ourselves an appraisal and so begins the inner turmoil of "did I do a good job? Will I get the call again?" ....etc etc etc

[troutbrooke]

Well, I think ersko has pretty much covered it. I played the same mental games with myself years ago Dazz. I had done many great gigs, and worked with well respected musicians/songwriters etc., and even did a lot of drum programming, but then it started to become a 'job', in that I wasn't enjoying any of the music that I was playing. Once the work stared to slow down, I went back to school and now work full time in another field. I still play a lot (although I can't practice on a full kit in my current living situation) and it's still a big part of who I am.

I'm also actively involved with music in other areas of my life, and I have some ideas that I am pursuing that may bring in 'passive' income if they pan out. I think that if you can devote some time to thinking about other things that you have to offer that may start generating income for you, a lot of these psychological games will dissipate.

Over analyzing why your phone isn't ringing doesn't do you any good. I'm sure you're a fine player and great to work with. There are just a finite number of gigs out there.

[XNavyDrummer]

Thanks Peter for that run down! The "that's the way I'm wired" concept seems to be the theme around here and at some point I seriously needed to make peace with that.

Cool feedback from Randy and DSOP also...interesting thread!

[Daniel LeClaire]

Great topic and great posts. [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

I like when people speak candidly about life, that's when you learn the most.

[Groovemeister]

What a great post Dazz.

I posted this in another thread about the recent suicide of one of our peers.

"I think if you are an artist in the most 'artistic' sense of the word, you are (by nature) a very sensative person. It comes with the territory. And with that comes blistering highs, but deep, deep lows.

They are inextricably linked, most musicians by our nature are very in touch with our emotions which can make it so hard at times. Couple that with job insecurity and the music business as a whole, we really set ourselves up for a rollercoaster of emotions. Lord knows I go through rough patches.

I am in my early 20's so thank the Lord I don't have to deal with too many commitments...yet. I can only hope when I have to make tough descisions, loved ones help make them easier to make.

MP

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ April 09, 2005 02:02 PM: Message edited by: Groovemeister ]</font>

[Dazzler]

Wow - thanks firstly to Erskoman for your well thought out and eloquant post (as always!). It goes without saying that you have been a hero of mine since I started playing the drums and to have you be so frank is humbling.

It was interesting to read that even you you were established as one of the greats and clearly were getting offered more sessions and gigs than you knew what to do with, you didn't rest on your Laurals and hence, followed Fuzzy Music, your writing and other business ideas. That's something that musn't be ignored - it's no good being the tortured musician if you can't pay your bills and support a family!

Thanks to Randy, Andy and Groovemeister for your comments too. You know, sometimes I wish I was a builder or welder or sommat instead of being a creative musician, but then again when you are behind the kit and making music to a high level with people that are challenging you and elevating the art, then you sit back, smile to yourself and say now THAT'S why I went through all the hardship and anguish - coz THIS is where it's at!!

It would be good if it were all more regular though! [img]wink.gif[/img]

[PocketPlayer]

I have nothing to add but this, at Greg B clinics or gigs, he always seems to have family and friends with him. In short, a drum circle. I think have good drum buddies essential for the high and low times. As PE said, time is precious so spend it with quality people and...Eat the watermelon, spit out the seeds!

[erskoman]

A very big question, Dazzler...

I'll begin by stating the obvious: music is its own reward. We make music simply because we must ... we want to, we like the results (most of the time, hopefully!), and there's a terrific gratification that comes from bringing pleasure to others through our work.

But being a free-lance musician requires a good deal of cleverness, creativity as well as dedication. By "dedication," I don't just mean practicing until the cows come home (or until you master some Virgil Donati double bass drum maneuver, etc.); rather, I mean the dedication that comes from believing so strongly in what you're doing that you'll persevere creatively, following your muse as well as providing for your family (or your own living expenses, reality being what it is ...).

When we last met in London, I was on tour with Diana Krall, playing some good music and making some good money; staying at good hotels, traveling in good comfort (and eating a lot of good food, I might add); in short, doing good work and getting good results. But, like anything else in life, there was a cost to enjoying all of that: it meant that I had to be away from home for extended periods of time. Now, when I was a younger man, this was not a gig-breaking predicament ... but, for the present moment (as of autumn, 2004), I found this to be a dilemma, as I was missing our daughter's final year at home before she heads off to college. And so I split the gig.

I made a similar type of decision when my wife and I were about to get married back in the mid-1980s ... I was doing very well in the New York City jazz scene, but circumstances did not seem to invite our setting up family and home in Manhattan (as my wife, who was living in Japan at the time, had friends in Los Angeles as opposed to New York, and my apartment was too small to raise a family, etc.).

Even when you have your picture on the cover of a drum magazine, it's not easy to pull up stakes and move to a new town, a new work scene, and renounce a way of life that was promising if not comfortable; still, you do what you got to do. I say all of this while realizing, with extreme gratitude, that I have been more than lucky and fortunate to be able to find work and make a living by playing the drums, etc.

Aahhh; the "etc." part!

Bob Beals was the owner of Evans Heads for many years, and he and I have been friends since the early 1970s ... anyway, one day Bob said to me "Peter, you travel an awful lot ... you know what? You need to start figuring out ways to make some money while you sleep!" And thus began a serious effort to put more energy and creativity into composing music, writing about music, and working with the drum industry on better products. Started my own CD "label," too. Etc.! All of which takes up a lot of valuable time.

Time. The essence of life; the moments of our days,, and the very gist of what we do as musicians!

So, then ... answers? Well, we all have to find our own way. But, I can offer the following:

1. Remember what it is about music that made you want to play in the first place. That magic will always be there if you remember to keep your ears and heart open to it.

2. Be prepared for any work opportunity that may come along. That means: know music! Know how to play, and know how to play with others! And, keep in mind: not all gigs will be good ones, and yet there is always something that can be learned from a playing opportunity or experience.

2.b. "Be prepared" means to be able to step up to the plate (as we say in America [baseball]) and deliver; confidence helps, as well as being open to suggestion (or, even, criticism).

3. Create your own musical reality or environment, if need be. I'm going to stay creative no matter what, whether I get called to do some big-deal gig or not, because I owe it to the music (and, frankly, that's the way I'm wired).

4. Keep the faith.

5. Life is precious, and life is short; spend it doing what you really want to do, and with the people you love.

6. Despite the (generally) low level of artistic taste or expectations that the public-at-large seems to share, thanks to all-mighty capitalism, there are people who will appreciate and understand your unique musical message. Sometimes it just takes some time and creative effort to make the match. Bottom line, and in other words: I don't know too many jazz musicians who are in it for the money.

All we can do is to do the best that we can ... add to that: "being kind to others," and I think you've got the main ingredients for a life that's being well-lived.

From a single-bass-drum-pedal-drummer ...

PE