O/T: Organised your works Christmas party yet?

[SJ_Skyline]

>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
>
>TO: All Employees
>
>DATE: 4th November 2004
>
>RE: Christmas Party
>
>I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the
Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a
small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along.
And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A
Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of gifts among
employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over
£10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This
gathering is only for employees! The
>MD will make a special announcement at the Party.
>
>Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
>
>Pauline
>
>
>
>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
>TO: All Employees
>
>DATE: 5th November 2004
>
>RE: Holiday Party
>
>In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often
coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However,
from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'.. The same policy
applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no
Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of
music for your enjoyment.
>
>
>Happy now?
>
>Happy Holidays to you and your family,
>
>Pauline.
>
>
>
>FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
>TO: All Employees
>
>DATE: 6th November 2004
>
>RE: Holiday Party
>
>Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to
accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA
Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!How am I supposed to handle
this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed
now
>since the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and
Management believe £10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE
ALLOWED.
>
>Pauline.
>
>
>
>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
>TO: All Employees
>
>DATE: 7th November 2004
>
>RE: Holiday Part
>
>What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the
Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during
daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a
luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'
beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until
the
>end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in
a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for
members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and
pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are
allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay
men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower
arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking
permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have
booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those
on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those
people with high blood pressure taste the food first.. There will be
fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No
Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!
>
>Pauline.
>
>
>
>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
>TO: All F****** Employees
>
>DATE: 8 November 2004
>
>RE: The ******** Holiday Party.
>
>Vegetarian pr1cks I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep
this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so
quaintly put it, you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic
tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too, They scream when you
slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!! I
hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.
>
>The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
>
>FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
>
>DATE: 9th November 2004
>
>RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
>
>I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy
recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the
meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and
instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full
pay.

[Carl I.]

My Christmas party is tomorrow.

...I so look forward to it... [img]graemlins/whatever.gif[/img]

I'd rather have a Christmas Bonus. But I haven't seen one of those creatures since my company got bought out.


***oh, I also have to drive an hour and a half to get to the fucking party location***

<font color="#FF0099" size="1">[ November 30, 2005 11:35 AM: Message edited by: Carl I. ]</font>

[SJ_Skyline]

That sucks fella! [img]frown.gif[/img]

Next you will be telling us that they are making you pay for it too! [img]mad.gif[/img]

[bubblegumdisaster]

ours is on Saturday, but I'll be fucked if I'm goin... choice of sitting eatin with a bunch of accountants and directors or heading to a punk birthday band bash .... Mmmmmm, choices choices LOL!

[SJ_Skyline]

I have a team one next week but my divisional one will be in January. The divisional one is usually black tie with around 700 people and they really push the boat out [img]smile.gif[/img]

I vaguely remember showing the new graduates how they ought to be downing vodka at about 3am last year! [img]eek.gif[/img]

[Carl I.]

No, no, we don't have to pay. I'm sure we will eventually. Last year we weren't allowed to bring spouses. This year they have atleast let them come back, so I have somebody to hang with atleast. I might get ill tomorrow. [img]graemlins/gulp.gif[/img]

[Hairglamfan]

My night out is in, wait for it, the capital of riots, Paris on Wednesday for all of 20 UK dib dobs. Suppose the food will cost more! Anyway having been twice before I'm looking for something cool to do during the day. Its only a day trip so I can't even take in a gig if anyone was playing. Any ideas from the French folk out there?

[Ian Rich Rags]

Absolutely hate works parties and avoid the at the risk of being fired. Nothing worse than being made to feel obliged to go to a party. Everyone tring to be nice to each other and the smug bosses thinking they are real top geezers for sticking five hundred quid behind the bar.

Not for me.

[andy69]

Our works meal is on 23rd Dec but I'm not going!

I am not a big fan of Xmas. Disliked it more over the last few years, more down to some personal reasons. If I could afford it I'd be in Thailand this Xmas as I was last year. At least over there it is not pushed in your face and ya can take it or leave it.