Jokes that will offend almost everyone...

[*sprinkle_sprinkle*]

> > > > 1.Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special
>Olympics?
> > > >
> > > > A: Not being retarded
> > > >
> > > > 2. Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
> > > >
> > > > A: Hypothermia
> > > >
> > > > 3. Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out
>of the
> > > > battered wives' shelter?
> > > >
> > > > A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
> > > >
> > > > 4. Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
> > > >
> > > > A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
> > > >
> > > > 5. Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
> > > >
> > > > A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
> > > >
> > > > 6. Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
> > > >
> > > > A: They don't fucking listen.
> > > >
> > > > 7. Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
> > > >
> > > > A: Gonorrhoea
> > > >
> > > > 8. Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
> > > >
> > > > A: So women would know what it's like to live with an
>irritating
> > > > cunt once in a while too.
> > > >
> > > > 9. Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
> > > >
> > > > A. She rolls her own tampons.
> > > >
> > > > 10. Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
> > > >
> > > > A. Better traction in the mud.
> > > >
> > > > 11. Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
> > > >
> > > > A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
> > > >
> > > > 12. Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael
>Jackson?
> > > >
> > > > A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at
>least 13
> > > years
> > > > old.
> > > >
> > > > 13. Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
> > > >
> > > > A. Marry it.
> > > >
> > > > 14. Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
> > > >
> > > > A. Your ass kicked.
> > > >
> > > > 15. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a
>hooker?
> > > >
> > > > A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
> > > >
> > > > 16. Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
> > > >
> > > > A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
> > > >
> > > > 17. Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise &semen?
> > > >
> > > > A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at
>thirty miles
> >an
> > > > hour.
> > > >
> > > > 18. Q. Why do women call it PMS?
> > > > A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
> > > >
> > > > 19. Q. What's a mixed feeling?
> > > >
> > > > A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in
>your new
> >car.
> > > >
> > > > 20. Q. What's the height of conceit?
> > > >
> > > > A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
> > > >
> > > > 21. Q. What's the definition of macho?
> > > >
> > > > A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
> > > >
> > > > 22. Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor
>party?
> > > >
> > > > A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
> > > >
> > > > 23. Q. What's the difference between oral sex &anal sex?
> > > >
> > > > A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
> > > >
> > > > 24. Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
> > > >
> > > > A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
> > > >
> > > > 25. Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
> > > >
> > > > A. You know she'll swallow.
> > > >
> > > > 26. Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex
>education on
> > > > the same day in Iraq?
> > > >
> > > > A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
> > > >
> > > > 27. Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
>Jewish
> >wife?
> > > >
> > > > A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
> > > >
> > > > 28. Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf
>ball?
> > > >
> > > > A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
> > > >
> > > > 29. Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch
>know when it
> >is
> > > > bedtime?
> > > >
> > > > A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
> > > >
> > > > 30. Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and
>clean the
> > > house?
> > > >
> > > > A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not
>time.
> > > >
> > > > 31. Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
> > > >
> > > > A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that
>kick.
> > > >
> > > > 32. Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
> > > >
> > > > A. Because it's worth it

[creeper2]

would it be wrong of me to say that i wasn't offended?

[*sprinkle_sprinkle*]

figures u'd say that :-?

[creeper2]

i think i'll take that as a compliment [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[Stacey0471]

"4. Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time"

OMG!!! some funny shit there. I like!!! [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[midnightlynsey]

LMFAO!! [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[Penny Derwent]

Some i hadn't seen b4 there [img]smile.gif[/img] lol and nope i wasn't offended either so [img]tongue.gif[/img] ner!!! lol

[*sprinkle_sprinkle*]

well I'm glad I made you all laugh - now the challenge of the day for me will be trying to top this thread with an even more funnier one hehe - that's going to take some work - and I'm barely on my first cup of coffee so wish me luck