"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

***sprinkle_sprinkle*** · September 11th, 2003, 02:42 PM

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu
that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken
McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager
at the counter.

"You don't?" I replied.

"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the
reply.

So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order
six?"

"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six
McNuggets.
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TWO
The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what
happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out at
the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.

I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by
the cash register and placed it between our things so
they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned
all of my items , she picked up the "Divider" looking
it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know
how much this is?"

I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think
I'll buy that today." She said "OK" and I paid her
for the things and left. She had no clue to what had
just happened.
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THREE-----MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN
SURVIVE!!!
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When
inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
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FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside
her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew
I should have replaced t he battery to this remote
door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you
think they (pointing to a distant convenient store)
would have a battery to fit this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing
it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries. It's a long walk."
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FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?"

"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining
blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and
proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
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SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the
vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing
generally looked like an extra in Twister."

I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that
the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went
in the back to make a sandwich.
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SEVEN ------IDIOTS &COMPUTERS...
My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office of a large bank. Employees in the field
call him when they have problems with their computers.
One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke
coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have
a fire downtown?"
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EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect
by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting
it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message
"He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time they thought
the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the
"lie detector" was working, the suspect
confessed.
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