Way o/t need advice! Please dont judge!

**GLAM DRUMMER** · July 17th, 2004, 12:54 PM

ok I met my first (my TRUE) love when I was 14. We went together for 2 years! We were each others "First". Her parents found out that we were "doing it" and broke us up. It took us YEARS to move on. We just found each other again 4 months ago on classmates.com. We didnt have ANY contact for 18 years (I know - I am giving my age here) We relized that after all these years that we are still as in love as we were back then. The passion and chemistry are all there (we know this because we have been together for a month now). The problem - we are married to people that we ARENT in love with and want to be with each other. Our "Partners" arent exactly in love with us either. The BIG problem - there are kids involved and we PROMISED that we wouldnt break up families. We wont do that to the kids and have agreed to wait untill they are old enuff to understand which will be about 5 more years. The BIGGEST problem for me is I do have SOME morals and ethics and I believe in GOD. I am commiting Adultury with another mans wife. If I didnt believe in God then I wouldnt care. BUT I do believe in God! I however am HUMAN and so is she! We cant help that we have loved each other and hung on to each other for 20 years now! We are a perfect match and complete each other. I cant get past my "GOD" guilt. Other than that I am ok, but I am ONLY HUMAN damit and we were made for each other. I love her so damn much. WE NEVER BROKE UP - HER PARENTS BROKE US UP! WE NEVER MADE THAT CHOICE! I was there first! I loved her first! She was mine first - and vice verca! So for now we live in sin! Any REAL advice? Please dont judge me - I cant help what i feel!

**A Katt Named Raggz** · July 17th, 2004, 02:04 PM

Feeling Adultry knowing it's wrong is like Doing drugs knowing you can kill over.
My opinion is...
If you've moved on and you have a wife and kids...and then all of a sudden you want your old life back...then to me that's wrong. First thing I would need to know, is if you saying that both of you are married and your wife and her husband don't have love???...is this just an excuse or cop out for you to cheat???
Either way, To me...something is not right here.
The worst part about this...is there are children involved and it's them that have to deal with it.
Also, Because she was your first does that mean that it's excusable? First or last it doesn't matter...Adultry is Adultry. Guys that cheat should have their dicks cut off...and girls that cheat should have their vagina sewn shut...my opinion and I'll stick with it.

[ July 17, 2004 11:23 AM: Message edited by: A Katt Named Raggz ]

**GLAM DRUMMER** · July 17th, 2004, 02:27 PM

I apreciate that Marcus - I am just really in love with her and she with me - We cant help that part. I cant let her go and I dont really know where to turn. One day I believe that we will be together again. Its hard to tell the whole story in a forum but I have never loved ANYONE as much as I have her! She feels the same way and FEELINGS are what they are! I cant change what i feel. I am only human. I am just a little hurt and confused right now. I did what i did and i want to be with her. This feeling that I have is just a result of the actions that we took and I will have to deal with it but I will always love her and will be with her one day. I believe this!

**GLAM DRUMMER** · July 17th, 2004, 02:37 PM

I never had a love like this for anyone and after some time we both moved on and "settled" if you will. We thought that we would NEVER see each other again - we had no idea! So we thought that we couldnt replace each other and took what we could. Now we found each other again and the felings have NEVER left us. I am trying to sort this out but isnt true love, true love? Doesnt it mean anything?

**TheGlamMessiah** · July 17th, 2004, 04:09 PM

[B]Trying to keep a family together is of the utmost importance..but if there is no love,the kids know that and it will have an effect...I have a son that is not in my household..he knows I love him and I am good friends with his mom...we are always in contact..

p.s Marcus when I read your post part of me thought that everlasting x guy was back...hmmmm ..the cut off and sewn comment is far from Cristian..

**GLAM DRUMMER** · July 17th, 2004, 04:15 PM

Originally posted by Sherri Sixxx:
Thats a very tricky one,Glam Drummer.The truth is people fall out of love with each othet all the time.Just check the latest divorce figures.People often grow into separate directions with time,and marriage becomes just a piece of paper,nothing much more,if the feeling is lost.
Do ur other halfs know that u r seeing each other?If there is no love,u might as well tell them,and let them find happiness elsewhere.If there is screaming fights all the time,it may be better to split up for the childrens sake.However,if thats not the case..please think of ur children.They are the priority,and would suffer if u were to leave.And propably think u leavin cos u dont like them enuff.So please dont rush into anything.

Another point,forbidden fruit often seems a lot sweeter,and if u were to properly get together,it may not work,and make u very bitter,as u would have lost ur wife and ur kids wouldnt respect u.

Huh,not much of advice,just my thoughts on the subject,that u may wanna think about.Good luck whatever u do.

Thanks for that Sherri! I am just really hurting right now and cant let go. I am to scared to, because I believe that when the kids are older we WILL be together in a proper way, but all of this hurts so much right now.

**A Katt Named Raggz** · July 17th, 2004, 04:24 PM

HaHa....what Marky?...is it that my comment scared you...and the what if ya got cut off for something ya did.
Also, I'm not Mr. Religious here so dont' push the Not A Christian thing towards me...Swaping partners is not a Christian thing either....yet ya did it.
Cheating is Cheating and who ever does it deserves what they get...Enough said.

[ July 17, 2004 01:28 PM: Message edited by: A Katt Named Raggz ]

DeviantD · July 17th, 2004, 04:51 PM

Armchair-psychology claptrap!

Why waste time? Nobody's getting any younger.
Confess your feelings, get a divorce and,
eventually, be with the one - you assume - is the
'the one'.

If it all ultimately goes tits-up, at least
you can say you tried. The opposite of this is
a lifetime of bitter self-resentment, which
isn't good for anyone.

D.

**TheGlamMessiah** · July 17th, 2004, 04:57 PM

[B]Let's just clarify one fact..I had my son long before I was married..and while I may play the part on the web, I am not an "out to the tourbus guy"..so there..

But would it be right to put on robes and stone these people in the village square ?? ...I choose to be understanding..if God thinks thatz wrong I don't need him/her..

**GLAM DRUMMER** · July 17th, 2004, 05:09 PM

Originally posted by DeviantD:
Armchair-psychology claptrap!

Why waste time? Nobody's getting any younger.
Confess your feelings, get a divorce and,
eventually, be with the one - you assume - is the
'the one'.

If it all ultimately goes tits-up, at least
you can say you tried. The opposite of this is
a lifetime of bitter self-resentment, which
isn't good for anyone.

D.

Damn Deviant That is xcactly how I feel but If I was an athiest I wouldnt be having a hard time right now. My "Guilt" comes from beliefs in God and that is the struggle. - Love od Belief

Thread: Way o/t need advice! Please dont judge!

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