Bullet

[dwim]

Bullet

Now, I must make this good
Because it's for the one I love
the one I adore
And she waits patiently for me
Like I search vigilantly for her...

I raised this earth with borrowed equipment
hoping like hell it would work
I came with my hands covered in oil
knowing that I'll never be satisfied
I ran far away from here
never sure of my destination
I fell down ten stories
And I haven't landed yet.

Mother, I said,
this bullet from nowhere hurts.
This bullet came because
I've let her down,
I let her let me go.

This earth I've raised
had never impressed her
These oils on my hand
did not produce enough money for her.
This place I ran to
was not where she'd call home.
This fall I took
did not make her care.

Mother, I said,
This bullet hurts.
And I'll dedicate it to the memory
of the one I love.
12-20-2001

[Branflakes]

I like this. Nice pace. I feel what he/she is going through.

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The ninja lesbian milk getter. aka dorkflakes.
Take the time to feel the wind.
I'm tired of the silent majority. Silence equals death.
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ChatterBox
Bran's Place

[Generalkaos]

I like the oil on the hands image. I think you should run with that. There aren't really any other images for me to grab, so the piece comes off a little static. I think that and the "earth I've raised" thing could be strengthened quite a lot for power.

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Fetch me my blue fright wig, that I may be handsome when I unleash my wrath.

[Ski]

It does have feeling, and the images were great.
I enjoyed it.