All Around Me - Breakdown

[Dano]

Drifting in and out of coedeine-enhanced sleep...

Watching Mark punch Ian, Josh getting up to split them apart, despite his stake in the argument. Ian is wearing a sleeveless t-shirt sporting the rebel flag and has written "the South will rise again" on his guitar. The show hasn't even started yet. Hank walked off about 15 minutes ago...

Athena had called him a day or two afterwards, letting him know that she was getting married and moving to Minneapolis with him, so she'd be unable to work with him anymore...

Crystal just kept getting stronger and stronger in his thoughts, memories, and desires...

A young boy in Florence was taken to the hospital in critical condition after allegedly "falling down the stairs" of his aunt and uncle's home. His uncle, Lance Wilcox, is in the custody of the OPD for questioning, and the police are considering the possiblity of child abuse...

The pain in my arms is so inconsequential to that in my heart and head I just want it to stop there's a heavy weight on my chest I need someone to take it off I can't breathe please someone help me please help me someone please...

[gollum]

i really like this, but the confusion's there, too. i want to know what happened to Thomas, how he ended up here. there are details in it that help, but it's still pretty fuzzy. i also want to know how the abused kid relates to the story. his appearance threw me.

otherwise, i really like this--the structure and the flow of words are really good. i just want to know more.

-g

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Sometimes i think everyone on this board is crazy. The rest of the time i'm sure. -Dan
somehow i see [gollum] clinging to a tower and rousingly calling for a new world order. -starky

would you forgive me
for hanging up on you
and crying myself to sleep

[Dano's work is Groovy]

Far Out. Superb. Must have more.

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Dano is the grooviest of the groovy!

Worship the Danoman!

[Dano]

I lay in bed, staring out the window, watching Doug load up his truck for the drive back to Omaha. Someone knocked, and Kay poked her head in.

"Got a minute Tom?"
"Sure."

She walked in and closed the door, looking at me. Sighing heavily, she walked around the bed and sat down in the old easy chair my grandmother kept in the spare room, my grandfather's old chair. Leaning her elbows on her knees she considered me for a while. I looked back, trying not to say anything, giving her time. She obviously had something to say.

Finally. "So where's a guy get peyote these days?"
"Not too hard if you know the right people."
She frowned, her green eyes darkening and her long red hair somehow dulling. "I thought? we all thought you were done with that shit Tommy."
"I am."
"So what happened?" Tears were collecting in here eyes.
"I didn't do it to get high Kay. I did it so I could see what I needed to see."
"And what was that, exactly?"
I looked out the window as Doug closed the tailgate. "I'm still working that out."

She stood up suddenly and walked over to the bed, standing over me. "Do you realize how much you fucked everything up? Christmas, Tom? Why would you do it on Christmas? At your grandmother's house?"
"I needed somewhere safe to do it, somewhere where I knew I'd be ok."
"You've got two broken wrists, seven broken fingers, scabs up and down your arms, a concussion, and almost died from hypothermia and exposure! You call that 'ok'?"
"I'm here, aren't I?" I regretted saying that in so flippant a manner almost immediately.

She closed her eyes and balled her hands into fists. Tears leaked out from the corners of her eyes, and she was slowly turning redder and redder. I was about to say something when she opened her eyes and brought a fist down into my stomach, hard. The air rushed out of me and I had to concentrate hard to keep everything inside me. Stars exploded while my vision blurred, I started coughing. She kept talking, angrier and angrier with each word.

"?parents left as soon as they knew you were ok, you know, after they heard, just went back home. Jeannie and Zoe left this morning to drive back to Denver. Did you even notice that they didn't come to say goodbye? And Doug's so god-damned mad he's spitting nails, but thank god you've got a brother like him, he stuck around until he knew for sure you were going to be ok. I personally wanted to leave you at the hospital and let you take care of yourself, but of course he wouldn't hear of it. How long are you going to play the fuck-up little brother Tom? How long until you realize that your way doesn't work? The only one who hasn't said a thing is Grace. That woman has been defending you from the start. She's the reason you're here, not back in Omaha. She's the one who's been taking care of you."

I opened my eyes to see her back in the chair, her hands a ballet of angry energy, her eyes and hair regaining the fire, blazing up through the ashes. Kompara made flesh in my sister-in-law.

She sat back and stared blankly. "How dare you call yourself a healer or a teacher? Look at you."
I stared back, knowing better than to say anything.
"I thought you had it all figured out Tommy. I thought you were meditating and all that, looking inside, you didn't need booze or drugs or anything anymore. I thought you were back on the right track."
"If it makes you feel any better, this is the first time anything stronger than ginseng has been in my body in a few years. And, I do meditate, I do all that stuff, the cleansing and looking inwards. But, sometimes there's walls we need to get over. Peyote is a lot cheaper than a sweat lodge, easier to come by, too."

Her eyes flooded over, running down her face, unheeded. She didn't say anything, but I could read it all over her face. How are you going to heal me if you can't even heal yourself? As if on cue for dramatic effect, a big coughing fit hit her. She shrunk, convulsed with spasms as the disease shook her body, loosening poison into her system. Being so upset with me was getting her sick. Between this and the weather, she'd probably check herself into the hospital as soon as they got back home.

I felt awful, guilty for having caused so much grief to my family, especially since they were all under the impression that I had fallen off the wagon or something. But at the same time, I was angry, pissed of that they couldn't see how far I'd come, how many battles I'd fought and won. This was one, a victory, but it had certainly had casualties. I was a physical wreck, but mentally and emotionally and spiritually, I hadn't felt so strong in months, maybe a year.

She stood up. "Call Doug when you get back to Omaha, let him know you're ok." The implication that she didn't particularly care hit me in the face.

"Kay?" She turned. "It's not what everyone thinks, and I'm not sure you'd want to hear the truth anyway. I just want you to know that it wasn't self-destructive, and I had no idea what was going to happen. If I had known it was going to shake everyone up so much, I would have waited until I was home." Not the best apology maybe, but it was honest.

She shook her head and walked out, closing the door quietly behind her.

[Oz]

confusing...


but i got it after two reads and backtracking a little bit. i like this quite a bit, cuz it shows both sides. thomas needed to do this to see something. but any action has a reaction, right? so heres this one. *sigh* painful to read, but very good. keep up the good work!

[Oz]

confusing...


but i got it after two reads and backtracking a little bit. i like this quite a bit, cuz it shows both sides. thomas needed to do this to see something. but any action has a reaction, right? so heres this one. *sigh* painful to read, but very good. keep up the good work!

[Fénix]

So Tom put himself before the pain that he caused his family...Family is important, he might have just sacrificed their love for him. Was it worth it? I don't think so. There are other ways to accomplish what he needed to do. Oh well, things get interesting.

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In the End

"I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all of this
There is only one thing you should know..."

-Linkin Park

[Dano]

Well, Thomas in this case was working under two premises, both of equal importance...

1) It was his decision to make, and despite the fact that he pissed people off, he NEEDED TO do it, because he had to learn what he learned or it would drive him over the edge

2)In the end, it's no one's business but his. He doesn't get all up in other people's business like that, he expects people to respond in kind.

Not arguing, just reflecting on his state of mind so you know more of where he's coming from.

[Fénix]

I understood where he was coming from. I'll just post this question. Could he have done this in a different way? and somewhere else? Ah, gotta love fiction when it makes you think no?

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In the End

"I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all of this
There is only one thing you should know..."

-Linkin Park