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February 19th, 2001, 03:55 PM
#1
Dano
Guest
(a)
It's warm and wet all around me, dark, womblike. I float, suspended perfectly, no boundaries restrict me. I hear nothing but the pulse of life, coming from everywhere yet nowhere.
Pinpricks of light appear, stars in the night sky that doesn't exist. They swirl in a dance and coalesce into luminecent clouds. All so near yet so far, I am everything and nowhere seeing all from inside the heart of reality. I feel my body heat up, glowing red and the light moves towards me. Imperceptably at first, then the motion becomes more apparent.
As they near, my glow lessens, and the white overcrowds the black, pushing back the darkness. They are so close, I can feel the heat, and my body has burned out, the mass of the stars presses into me, gently, taking me, making me one with them.
A jolt.
"Something fell..."
Cold, dark and hard. I'm lying on something, a tube is in my throat, choking me even as it forces me to breathe. I feel cold metal on my bare chest and my eyes open blindly, seeing only alternating darklightdarklightdarklight strobing. An air of confusion, chaotic tension in sound cuts into my brain, though I can't understand words, just volume levels and inflection.
I feel tears streaming down my face. I was so close!
[This message has been edited by Dano (edited February 20, 2001).]
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February 19th, 2001, 10:02 PM
#2
Dano
Guest
(b)
They've strapped my arms to the sides of the bed. Once a day, they let me out and a physical therapist 'exercises' me, for lack of a better term. Mainly she just moves me around, makes sure I don't stiffen up beyond repair. I've got a catheter and enema in me so they can leave me there, but even when they loosen me up, I don't really have any desire to move around.
Welcome to the suicide watch at Pan-African University Hospital.
I haven't spoken in 5 weeks. I'm not even sure my voice works anymore, or that I could form words if I had to. A counsellor comes around every day. At first, he tried to talk to me, to 'doctor' me, but all I ever did was turn my head and stop listening. Now he's resigned himself that I'm not going to respond, but since he still has to spend an hour with me every day, he's taken to reading out loud. He started with "The Old Man and the Sea", and when he finished that, moved on into "Stranger In A Strange Land". I didn't care for the Hemmingway, but I'm actually enjoying the Heinlein.
They feed me with capsules, which expand in my stomach, creating a sense of fullness. It's an interesting procedure, watching them insert them into the tube in my side and feeling it move into my stomach. I've got a hampster-bottle-type thing with water near my chin, and I drink out of that when no-one is looking.
At night, I dream. It's the same dream every time. I was so close!
[This message has been edited by Dano (edited February 20, 2001).]
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February 20th, 2001, 02:50 AM
#3
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February 20th, 2001, 05:08 PM
#4
Dano
Guest
(d)
I've been awake for a little while now. A little over an hour, judging by the clock on the wall. Moonlight streams into the ward, a grid on the floor created by the barriers both outside and inside the windows.
Below the clock is an icon, indicating the Pan-African University Hospital system. I'm not sure exactly how I got here at all. Of course, I don't remember much, it's hazy, most likely due to medication or the long period of 'rest' I've been in.
They came and got me. Who? Someone... a man in a dark suit... fading. Oh well, not important. Facts at hand. In a bed, unable to move. Unwilling to move? Unable, my body's not responding. Pan-Africa, which seems an awful long distance from where I'm supposed to be, but... where is that, exactly? Europa? Somewhere in Europa? Fading, let it go, if it's important, it will come back.
I close my eyes and concentrate... There were stars... And warmth... A hillside? I remember grass, green grass up to my waist, and trees, swaying in the wind... It was daylight... so where do the stars fit in?
"Something fell..."
A voice. Whose? The man in the dark suit? No, someone... someone else... fading... hold onto it don't let go it's a key it's important it's fading see what you can red hair long red hair and a pair of solid blue eyes a woman a... something not human clone? android? something else?
The stars fill my vision and the clock which is digital is suddenly ticking it's like being in a planetarium I can't identify anything but I see stars and nebulae and the ticking is growing louder space is silent God is silent stop ticking God is bringing me home showing me through the illusion my body heats up and glows my arms are stretched out to my sides and I'm floating expanding becoming ONE the clock won't stop ticking I look at it and it explodes...
Again, back in the ward, on the floor. I've fallen out of bed. I can't move and I can't speak and all I can see is the pattern of moonlight on the floor, the bottoms of bed and a smoking char where the clock was.
I hear shouting in the distance growing closer and the door opens suddenly letting in artificial light. Green bootie-covered feet approach me, arms attatched (I'm assuming) to the feet somewhere wrap around me and lift me onto the bed. There's a voice I don't understand, it's all garbled and thickly accented. "I'm sorry I can't understand you," is what I'd like to say but nothing works.
I hear a different voice, soprano, calm yet insistent and I feel a prick in my neck followed by warmth and darkness spreading quickly into my shoulder and head I'm looking at the window there's a tree but it all softens at the edges and loses focus and fades...
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February 20th, 2001, 05:31 PM
#5
Dano
Guest
(e)
She looks so lovely there, her hair flowing like flames from her head and shoulders. Her eyes, placid as always, are surely focused on more than just me, she's scouting, ensuring our safety.
The grass tickles my bare feet and legs as I walk to her. I place my hands on her waist and wrap around to the small of her back, pulling her closer against me. Her hands correspondingly go to my neck and run through my hair. Her eyes betray nothing, none of the feelings or emotions a human woman would show. Of course, she has them, but her kind hide them very very well. If I could dive into the inherent safety of her solid blue eyes, I would.
I lean in and kiss her, and she responds in kind, if only briefly. She disengages and lays her head on my shoulder, kissing my neck softly. "I'm sorry Jacques, but you need time. It needs to take effect, run it's course, and release you, and we still don't know if they know you're gone yet."
I sigh and nod. She's right, of course. I've fought against this, from the very start. I'm no leader, I'm not even much of a follower. And yet, here I am, so much at stake for so many people.
She backs away and lies down on her side, and I next to her on my back. She leans over me and kisses me again, softly. "I'll be right here, Jacques. I love you." She settles down quietly next to me, pillowing her head on her hands and smiling slightly. For the first time, I acutely miss the show of emotion from her flat blue eyes.
I turn my head upwards and look into the sky, the clouds, so quiet and peaceful. I place the wafer in my mouth and bite down. My mouth suddenly tingles with sensation as the drug enters my system. I can feel it spreading, my tongue, my throat, into my nasal cavity, behind my eyes. Fading away I hear a noise and her voice...
"Something fell..."
[This message has been edited by Dano (edited February 20, 2001).]
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February 21st, 2001, 01:58 AM
#6
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February 21st, 2001, 04:27 AM
#7
Dano
Guest
Hhhmmm... Apparently, I'm writing this out of order. Bear with me, this is going to be herky-jerky. This scene takes place between (a) and (b). We'll call it (c).
Drifting along disjointed out of place calm peaceful outside where I want to be outside where I belong inside outside no difference...
"Doctor, he seems to be awake."
I feel a hand on my cheek and see cold grey light followed by blinding white snow glare the hand is warm and clammy I feel cool metal a ring a wedding band the hand lets go.
"No, still comatose. Ths psyche-probe indicated blah blah blah jargon followed by legalese mumble mumble walking away so I can't hear them anymore..."
A lion sits atop an overturned auto licking it's bloody maw a pronghorned antelope gutted below it there are no lions in America no pronghorns in Africa but it's ok they're in Paris I can see the Eiffel Tower behind them it's right there I want to climb it...
Dunes of sand strange red sand a breeze blowing hot dust into my nose and throat I'm choking green seawater I'm drowning I want to sink into it I'm not afraid please take me take me home take me where I belong don't leave me here please let me drown...
I'm so close!
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February 21st, 2001, 02:59 PM
#8
Inactive Member
Heady, enigmatic sci-fi. I like. So is Jacques gonna be like a Christ figure or...?
take care
---jones
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Works & Days
Compaq Presario + Windows ME = $850 wasted
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February 21st, 2001, 10:28 PM
#9
Dano
Guest
"Come now, Mr. LaFontaine, there's really no need for all of this fuss, is there?"
Reiple leered at me as I sat in the back of the police cruiser, hand-cuffed and bleeding from a cut over my eye.
"All you had to do was sign a piece of paper and accept our generous offer. Would it have killed you to spend some time on Phobos?"
He exuded arrogance and spite. His thinning hair, narrow eyes and toothy grin told me worlds about him. He was a professional liar, hand-picked by the Europan government to deal with 'people like me'. A trouble-eliminator, without conscience. He knew without a doubt that I would never be coming back from Phobos. Between the unsurrections of the farmers and the occasional mutinies of the soldiers, I most likely wouldn't last a year.
"Still not talking, eh? Fine. We can get you to talk later. No rush. You've forced our hand, now we'll see what you've got for us." He turned around facing the front view of the cruiser, and a opaque partition closed, seperating me from them totally. I sat back and closed my eyes.
I sank down into a meditative state, blocking out all the excessive stimuli. Not deeply, I still needed to be able to react to anything, but enough that I could concentrate.
I began to run through my options, of which there were few. I needed more information, which I was sure was soon to be coming.
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February 21st, 2001, 10:29 PM
#10
Dano
Guest
"Come now, Mr. LaFontaine, there's really no need for all of this fuss, is there?"
Reiple leered at me as I sat in the back of the police cruiser, hand-cuffed and bleeding from a cut over my eye.
"All you had to do was sign a piece of paper and accept our generous offer. Would it have killed you to spend some time on Phobos?"
He exuded arrogance and spite. His thinning hair, narrow eyes and toothy grin told me worlds about him. He was a professional liar, hand-picked by the Europan government to deal with 'people like me'. A trouble-eliminator, without conscience. He knew without a doubt that I would never be coming back from Phobos. Between the unsurrections of the farmers and the occasional mutinies of the soldiers, I most likely wouldn't last a year.
"Still not talking, eh? Fine. We can get you to talk later. No rush. You've forced our hand, now we'll see what you've got for us." He turned around facing the front view of the cruiser, and a opaque partition closed, seperating me from them totally. I sat back and closed my eyes.
I sank down into a meditative state, blocking out all the excessive stimuli. Not deeply, I still needed to be able to react to anything, but enough that I could concentrate.
I began to run through my options, of which there were few. I needed more information, which I was sure was soon to be coming.
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seriously though, this is riveting. I want more if possible
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