MY story

[Oz]

To quote Kevin Smith: I finally had something personal to say.

I know its not that good, and its just in the early stages. But for me its a big accomplishment, cuz its the first step towards wherre I want to go. Please take the time to check it out.


Prologue


On a dirty playground, the bell rings. Dozens of kids pour out the doors, ready for a chance to play, after working so long. Slowly out of the corner classroom exits a small group of girls. After them, the last of his class, comes a little boy. The children are non-descript, an average bunch of elementary aged kids. As the group of girls converges upon the playground, the boy makes their way into the center of their circle. He pulls the ponytail of one of the girls and smirks.
?That?s for not being here yesterday.?
?My grandpa died yesterday,? the girl replies softly.


Chapter One


Mike and Christina were the type of people that did not open up very easily. However, the day that Mike?s parents told him that they were getting a divorce, he knew that the only person he could turn to was her. So he got dressed, picked up the lunch that his mom had made him, just like every other day of his life, and he hopped on his bike. The ride to the school seemed especially long that day. He couldn?t help but think to himself that this was one of those moments to remember. This was where his life would begin to change. This is when it would never be like again.

He arrived at school the same time that he did every day. He did very well in school, and his mother was very proud of this fact. She encouraged, and expected, straight A?s from he and his bother. It wasn?t a problem for Mike. He loved school. He loved to learn. Most importantly, though, it was fun.

He walked into his class with very low spirits that day. Christina gave him a wave as he waked through the doors and he gently returned it. She smiled and so did he, out of courtesy. He took his seat and waited for class to begin. Today was different. Not for the obvious reasons. Today was different because Mike didn?t want to be in class. All he wanted was for the bell to ring so that he could venture outside. Outside to the playground, where he could talk to Christina. The thought of talking within the classroom didn?t occur to Mike, he was too much of a schoolboy.

So it was that when the bell rang, Mike rushed out the doors, and was the first one out. He stood waiting for Christina, and when she came out the doors, he asked if he could talk to her. At this stage of life, this kind of request usually meant that behind the trees the little boy was going to ask the little girl to be his girlfriend. So Christina went over to the trees, wondering if Mike was going to ask her to be his girlfriend, and wondering what she would say if he did. She liked Mike a lot. All the girls did. But, she didn?t know about this boyfriend business. It seemed kind of?primal to her.

When they got behind the trees, Mike started crying. Christina immediately stopped thinking about whether or not she was ready to be his girlfriend. He was obviously not ready to be her boyfriend. Christina didn?t know Mike very well, so all she could do was to ask, ?Are you okay??

?My parents told me today that they are not happy together. That they need to get a divorce. I know that I don?t know you very well, but I didn?t know who else to tell. And I needed to tell somebody. It?s just that, out of the group of girls, you are the one who is always nicest to me??

?Hey, oh my gosh, are you okay? Why? Well??

Christina didn?t say anything else. She just hugged him. And they sat there, behind the trees where little boys took the first step to manhood, and he cried on her shirt until the bell rang to end recess.


Chapter Two


When the Fifth Grade Sock Hop was announced, it was only natural for Mike to ask Christina to go with him. Not as boyfriend girlfriend or anything, just, you know, to go together so that they both wouldn?t look like dorks. So she said yes, not so that they wouldn?t look like, you know, dorks, but in the hope that this might be the night when he finally kissed her. And then they could run away from their horrible parents and get jobs that they loved, and get a beautiful house, and live happily ever after. It was obvious to her that this was the night it would happen.

Mike and Christina arrived at the dance at the same time, as planned, and walked in together. That was the extent of Christina?s dream. Once inside, they saw the reality of the scene. Boys were on one side and girls were on the other. They looked at each other, looked at the crowds, and split apart without a further word. People in the center were attempting to dance, or at least, what kids this age thought was dancing. They would move around a little when a new song came on the stereo and then they would mesh back into the group, embarrassed that they would leave themselves open for such ridicule.

The girls on one side had formed about six different little subdivisions of their own group and Christina had joined the one with which she was most familiar. Kristi was there and Colene too. Frannie, Felicia, Betsy, Michelle, and Andrea rounded out the members of this exclusive circle. All the girls made quite a fuss over Christina coming in with Mike, but she downplayed it as though it were nothing, as though it were a mere coincidence that the two had arrived at the same time. No one believed her.

The boys on the other side had no diversity in their ranks, they all just stood together in one giant line. Mike didn?t have very many guy friends, so he just drifted in. When someone asked whether he had come in with Christina or not, and he said no, everyone believed him.

Billy Ray Cyrus came on over the DJ?s equipment and the girls whooped and hollered and cheered very loudly. Eventually, some boys went out and started dancing to the song, even though they hated it, and got some of the girls out there with them. Eventually, the girls who loved the song enough went to dance with some of the boys, even though they were unsure of the pairing. Mike and Christina stared at each other from the opposite sides of the cafeteria and laughed at each other and the other people that they were surrounded by. In the background ?November Rain? by Guns ?N Roses could be heard.

Mike looked at Christina all night and was happy. He danced close to her maybe once or twice, but that was as much as elementary school rules would allow. One time when they were close enough, he winked at her, and she laughed. A shy, full-bodied laugh that Mike fell in love with right away. It was as though she were trying to hide the fact that she was laughing. And maybe she was. Mike decided that night that he was in love with this girl and that they should be together.

Christina went home that night as happy as she had ever been in her life. She was so glad that Mike had not kissed her. It was obvious that they were destined for a life long friendship and that any type of feelings between them were only her imagination. This was a guy that she could count on for anything. Especially in the upcoming years in middle school when she would need advice on boys and how their minds worked. Mike would be a great friend, and someone valuable to keep close to her.

Chapter Three


Mike was running along the field, trying to catch up with the ball. He was going to make it. He looked up to make the catch, and the sun was in his eyes. For some reason he thought of that Sock Hop two years ago, and the laugh that he had fallen in love with. The football came down and landed on Mike?s chest. Snapping back to reality, Mike?s hands wrapped around the ball and he brought it in close. Lucky, he thought. Better stop daydreaming. Before he could even finish his thought, Mike was tackled by the biggest guy on the other team, Ben. His hands released their hold on the ball, and it rolled out from underneath the pile that was now he and Ben. A player from the other team quickly picked the ball up and ran for the touch down.

?TOUCHDOWN!!!? yelled Adrian, the co captain of the other team. Ben and Mike stood up, and Mike hung his head. He kicked himself for not holding on the ball. Then the other members of his team came by and hit him on the arm, one at a time, until they had all left him bruises. That hurt.

Then Mike looked over at the sidelines, where Christina and her two new best friends, Katie and Danielle, were sitting. Christina was looking at him, shaking her head slowly. That hurt even more.

?Damn it, Mike, hold on to the fucking ball next time!? Travis was yelling at him now. Travis was Mike?s new best friend. He and Mike had started these football games, and even though it was just a pickup game on the field during lunch at school, it was still a big deal. And no one took it more serious than Travis.

When they set up for the next play, Mike was assigned as a blocker, instead of his normal position of receiver. Even when he wasn?t home, he still found a way to be in deep shit.

Mike and his dad hadn?t been getting along recently, and dad had been showing it in a rather physical manner. If Mike said something to upset his father, he would be thrown into the doghouse, literally. He spent many nights outside in the doghouse, fighting with the dog for the right to stay inside the house. The stink was more bearable than the cold, or the rain, or once, even the snow, that came with the outdoors. Then there were times when his dad would forget about him. Times when his brothers would have to remind his dad that Mike was outside. Mike knew when his brothers reminded his dad, because those were the nights that he had to give up the doghouse, so that his brother could sleep in it. His brothers quickly stopped reminding his dad.

The only good thing that had come of his parent?s divorce was the comic books. Mike?s dad had taken he and his brothers to a comic book store the very first weekend that they had been assigned to stay with him. He let them loose upon the store, telling them to pick out anything they wanted. Any of it, and all of it, bring it to me, and I will buy it for you, said their father.

But now, none of that mattered, because Mike was blocking for Travis. He did a good job, and Travis got the pass off to Jack. Travis smiled at Mike and in the next play, Mike was one of the receivers again.

Chapter Four


------------------
"What about him? What are you doing with him?"
"What you should be doing with me..."

Proud family member of Jelymo, gollum, Kelly, Dano, Jaxom27, 5Cats, Fenix and others.

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

[This message has been edited by Oz (edited September 23, 2000).]

[Chilimuffin]

thanks for putting this up here. I know it's early on in the writing process, but I think it's a really good start. The focus on specific events is really good - the details are so dead-on it takes me right back to grade school. It also takes a lot of guts to post something personal in such a public space, so props to you for doing so. .

[Oz]

In the spring of the next year, Mike and Christina were not getting along very well. This part of his life was just like the rest of it, he thought. There was no point in trying, because every time that he tried all it resulted in was getting hurt more. He identified Christina more and more with his dad, the two people in his life that hurt him the most. But while his father hurt him more physically in nature, Christina?s wounds ran deep within his soul.

It was obvious that he liked her. Obvious to everyone. Even Danielle had seen it and had offered to talk to her for Mike. But Mike had refused the help, saying that this was something that he needed to do on his own. So when Christina asked him to set her up with Ben, he did. He said it was no problem and that he would love to see those two together. He lied to his best friend point blank. And when Christina asked him if he wouldn?t mind seeing if Ben had a date to the Eighth Grade Social and Ben didn?t, and Christina asked Mike if he minded that she went with Ben, of course he didn?t mind. And when Ben asked Mike, ?Well, I kinda thought that she was yours, dude?? all Mike had to say was. ?I guess not. Have a good time.?

So Ben and Mike and Travis and Nate all met at Mike?s house before the dance and took some pictures of The Crew so that they would always remember in high school that they had each other?s backs, no matter what. And then, since Mike?s house backed up to the middle school, they walked over to the Gym, where it was being held and met their group of girls outside. No one in either group was technically on a date, except for Christina and Ben, but by this time Christina had asked Mike if he wouldn?t mind telling Ben that she didn?t really want to be his girlfriend. And so Mike had done this and Ben had said, ?Whatever, dude, I thought she was yours anyways.? And that had been that as far as Ben and Christina were concerned as a couple. Christina still had not been kissed. Mike had planned for all year to make his move, and here it was. The Eighth Grade Social. The last chance. If he didn?t make his move soon, they would be in high school before any of them knew it, and it would be too late. Some senior would pick her up and it would be all over for Mike and his dream of being with Christina.

In the middle of the dance, Travis came up to Mike to hit him on the arm. ?Get a move on. Either you do it, or I?ll steal her from you. Better make a choice pretty quick.? So when Mike saw Christina running out the doors, he knew that Travis was right, and he ran after her. She was crying, and he didn?t know why. He would have ran after her no matter what. As they trailed out the doors, Mike couldn?t help but think of Cinderella, running out the doors in such a hurry at midnight. Christina stopped shortly outside of the doors, and turned towards him.

?I don?t know,? she sobbed. ?It?s just that I like him so much and I just don?t know what to do. I mean, I do like him. But I don?t like him. You know? Geez?I?m a wreck. Look at me. Crying at the Social. I must look like a real nerd??

?I think you look really beautiful tonight, Chris. I like that dress. We don?t see you in dresses very often.?

She laughed at him and just stared. He held out his hand, and she took it and came close. He gave her a hug, and told her that it was going to be okay. He told her all the things that she needed to hear and none of the things that he needed to say. He did this because he was her best friend. And that is what she needed right then. So he hugged her, and softly smelt her hair and wished that she would maybe just once shed some tears over him.

In the background, over the DJs equipment, the Nixons? ?Sister? came on. She looked up with a laugh and a tear and said to him, ?It?s our song. Hah.? He looked back at her face, shining in the moonlight and asked why she was so sarcastic towards their song. ?It?s such a sad song. It always makes me cry. I mean, look at me now,? she said. ?It was obviously this song that made me cry.? He smiled a little smile and pulled her tight, trying to make sure that she didn?t see the tears in his eyes.

He tugged on her hand. He motioned towards the door. ?Come on...? No, she said, I?m not a good dancer. Neither am I, he said. What?s it going to matter? Come on? Finally they entered, and it was as though the whole world held its breath at once. The crowds parted, and the two were allowed to the off-center of the dance floor. They swayed back and forth to the music, not really, dancing, but better than they had been three years ago. Their faces did not move through out the entire song. They just stared into each other?s eyes, as though there was nothing else in the world. And when the song faded out, Mike pulled her close once more and whispered into her ear, with a voice full of tears and choking, ?See? I told you it?s not always a sad song. I love you Christina.? And then they released and the world breathed again. The natural clamor of the room returned, and even if they had been looking into each other?s eyes still, they could not have seen the same sight. She pulled back slowly. He knew that he had to move quickly if he ever wanted anything with this beautiful woman that he saw in front of him. He held on to her hand and gently tugged it once again. He motioned with his head outside. They left the gym, and walked outside to the bathrooms, the only other place that the school would allow the children to be.

The bathrooms were contained within another hall, separate from the gym, and as they walked in the double doors, Mike?s heart rate quickened. He didn?t know what he was doing. He had only kissed a few other girls, and those had certainly not been preparation for kissing the girl that he loved. He was suddenly nervous, and his palms grew sweaty. His vision burred slightly. He shook his head, as though to clear the cobwebs of this mystery that now engulfed him. It didn?t help.

?So, I?ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now?? he started out.

?Yeah, I know, you?ve told me. What?s all this about?? she sounded nervous.

?Well, it?s not just something that you can sit here and say, you know? It?s not like something that you can plan out, I guess. It?s more of a spontaneous thing?? He cut him self off as he leaned down to her petite frame and placed his lips on hers. To the current day, he has not yet experienced a feeling that is better than that. He held his lips to hers as long as he thought prudent, and then released, his eyes closed for what felt like a year, lingering with the feeling, trying to hold on to it so that there would always be something there for him to enjoy.

For another moment the world held its breath as the boy and girl looked into each other?s eyes. Then, with a jerk, reality set in. Mike started babbling.

?I guess that?s what I really wanted to say. But words can?t express that kind of feel?I want you to know that no matter what, I want to be your friend. I love you Chris. I love you more than anything. But I love you as a friend so much more. I always want to be your friend. And if this messes things up between us, I?m sorry, and you can just forget that it ever happened. It?s not something that I need, it?s just something that I want and that I thought I should share with you, even though I don?t know if you want it or even like it or anything? I?m sorry. I didn?t mean to do anything bad. Please don?t be mad. Look, I know that this kind of thing takes time and a lot of thought. So I just want you to know that you can have as much as you want. I?m willing to wait. I just felt that this was something that I had to say. And this was the only way I knew how to say??

She held a finger up to his lips. ?Shhhhh? It?s okay?? Then they took hands and they walked out the doors into the starry night. And Mike held Christina as though she was his, and he let her. And they went back into the dance, and Travis looked at him in a questioning manner. Mike gave him a thumbs up and Travis smiled, and gave him the thumbs up back. There was only one more hour left in the dance, but Mike and Christina danced together for every song.

At the end of the night, when the dance was over, and Mike was getting ready to cross the field, back to his house, he and Christina stood outside the gym. He looked at her and sighed. He knew that he would never again have a night as perfect as this.

?Look, I know you told me to be quiet, but I just want to emphasize this point. I love being your friend more than anything else in the world. If you have any questions about this kind of thing, just don?t go with it, and that?ll be okay with me. Just let me know, okay? I want to be your friend most of all, and above everything else.?

At that moment, her dad?s van pulled up. She turned to him and said, ?I?ve got to go. I?ll call you.? She gave him a hug, and she tried to hold on for an eternity in that instant. She let one tear loose as she walked away from him. In the middle of her path, she stopped and she looked back at the boy she had known so many years, and saw the man that was growing up before her very eyes. He was taller than her now, and he was losing the boyish traits that had made him the girl?s favorite in elementary school. He was growing into a man. An attractive one at that. She knew that from this night on, everything would be different. She tried to make herself remember everything from this night. She knew that this was one of those times that it would never be like again. She knew that from this night on, it would always be changing. And it wouldn?t always be for the better. Then she turned around and walked to the van without a word.

Chapter Five

[Fénix]

Bah...I hate cliffhangers. I want more!

------------------
"I've had to spend the majority of my life vigilant against the thoughts and emotions of others pentrating my mind. But just this once, as the psychic dam begins to burst, I dont try to stop it... because the only emotion that comes crashing through the breakwall...
is hope.
It washes over everyone. Infectious... growing in strength...
Connecting us... uniting us... until suddenly...
strangers dont seem so strange anymore."
Jean Grey- X Men # 71

PROUD SLAVEBOY OF JELYMO

Enter Daredevil at Hero Realm

[Oz]

Just as a little side note, Fenix, not only have you stolen my heh, you are also using bah now too. Heh...

------------------
"What about him? What are you doing with him?"
"What you should be doing with me..."

Proud family member of Jelymo, gollum, Kelly, Dano, Jaxom27, 5Cats, Fenix and others.

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

Arch-nemesis of Tea Woman

[jones]

I notice a couple places where you use the nominative "he" where you need the objective "him." For example, "Mike?s dad had taken he and his brothers to a comic book store" should be "him and his brothers" because the word is an object of the verb taken. There are a couple other places where you do the same thing. Yeah I know, I'm a grammar bastard.

However, I'll nod vigorously along with Chilimuffin about focusing on specific events. You're at your best when describing things that happen -- events, movements, facial expressions, dialogue, physical contact, etc. I especially like the doghouse image and Mike having to move out of the doghouse when one of his brothers shows up there. Funny and sad. Great stuff. In fact, it's so vivid that I think you could drop topic sentences like "Mike and his dad hadn?t been getting along recently, and dad had been showing it in a rather physical manner" entirely. The scene gets that idea across on its own.

And speaking of Mike's dad, do you plan on developing that relationship? I hope so. It's a good dramatic sub-plot to twist around the Christina/Mike relationship.

The last paragraph of the second installment really works too, except for the expressions about the boy growing into a man. It's been done. But the rest of it rocks. Keep going.

take care

---jones

[Oz]

gah! jones! thank you so much! you have no idea how much it means to me that you would critique my work. if theres ANYTHING else that is bad or needs changing, dont hesitate to post, or if not posting, please email me. i would LOVE some more feedback. (<~~thats to everyone, not just jones.)

------------------
"What about him? What are you doing with him?"
"What you should be doing with me..."

Proud family member of Jelymo, gollum, Kelly, Dano, Jaxom27, 5Cats, Fenix and others.

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

Arch-nemesis of Tea Woman

[Fénix]

Oz, I've been using bah for a while. Just don't use it often. Same for heh, but thanks to you, I use it more now >_<

------------------
"I've had to spend the majority of my life vigilant against the thoughts and emotions of others pentrating my mind. But just this once, as the psychic dam begins to burst, I dont try to stop it... because the only emotion that comes crashing through the breakwall...
is hope.
It washes over everyone. Infectious... growing in strength...
Connecting us... uniting us... until suddenly...
strangers dont seem so strange anymore."
Jean Grey- X Men # 71

PROUD SLAVEBOY OF JELYMO

Enter Daredevil at Hero Realm

[Branflakes]

I finally got around to reading this. Wish I'd gotten here sooner. This is some great stuff, Oz. Like Chili and jones said, I definitely see some great talent in there. Keep going!

------------------
Branflakes, the ninja lesbian milk getter bunny protecting flirt.
The one called "brain" and "brandiflakes" and....
I'm tired of the silent majority. Silence equals death.
Life is what you make it.
"I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality"-Savage Garden

When shall I hold my passion for you?

[Oz]

a big thank you to bran. and a big >_< to fenix.

------------------
"What about him? What are you doing with him?"
"What you should be doing with me..."

Proud family member of Jelymo, gollum, Kelly, Dano, Jaxom27, 5Cats, Fenix and others.

I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned

Arch-nemesis of Tea Woman