characterization aid

[Coke Cans]

"Redneck" Sighting:

Name? bethany. that's all.
Nickname? bethany. that's all.

Age? 17

Gender? in question

Occupation? two-time tenth-grade failee

Parents? a special someone i call senior petri dish

Siblings? aaron who's 9 and naomi who's nearing 7. good Yids, the both of them.

Favorite school subject? astronomy. i am Astronomy Girl.

Favorite subject outside of all that thar book learnin'? i don't understand your question. what does thar mean.

Have you ever been charged with a crime? being too hot for this planet.

Who's the Devil? bill maher. we've been over this. i wish you'd pay more attention.

Is meat murder? meat is might.

Music? the ink spots in las fucking vegas.

Book? the hellmouths of bewdley.

Movie? harold and maude.

Seriously though, is meat really murder? meat is meat.

Favorite game? cockaroach golf

Sexual position? in separate rooms

Ever been in a fight? once, my dad was like, wheres them laundry quarters. and i was like i donn't KNOW! get off my fucking case!

Are you a Christmas geek? i am an honourary jew.

What's less funny than a rubber chicken? adam sandler. me. herpes.

Do you like surprise parties? no.

Quote? until you stalk and overrun, you can't devour anyone.

Is sex best when it's with a stranger, best friend or worst enemy? when it doesn't involve me at all.

Ever had a broken bone? If not, what do you think you've been doing wrong? no. i have been using my slovak genes to turn all solid and invincible. i'm sorry.

Do you vote? i'm 17. stop badgering me, tooker gomberg.

If you were a nineteenth century captain of industry, what would you do when the ragamuffins on the street corner throw snowballs at your stovepipe hat? i would zap them with my ray gun. duh.

Customized or original factory condition? circumsized.

Fish on Friday? fresh on fish day.

If you had to have sex with someone of a gender outside your usual sexual preference, who would it be with? my sexual preference is nobody. therefore, my answer is anybody.

Of Jimmy Carter, Gloria Steinum or Jesse Jackson, who would you place in supreme command of the U.S. nuclear arsenal?
jimmy carter had the power hair. no wait that was marge simpson.

Worst teacher you ever had? madame muldoon, 2nd and 4th grades. she threw a dictionary at a kid (a FRENCH dictionary no less) and he caught the coner in the eye. then her son got hit by a car (and stabbed simultaneously, or so the rumour went) and we never saw her again.

Best lawyer you ever had? free.

Most you've ever eaten?
6 pies (two cherry, three lemon, one pecan)
three burritos
half a pineapple pizza
half a pepperoni pizza
three raisins
a thing of rockets
a piece of white boy corn bread
a bag of microwave popcorn
a chocolate chip cookie
half a fig newton
two boxes of after eight chocolate mints
a banana
a caesar salad
four more bananas
five perogies
an order of thai noodles
peanut sauce with the thai noodles
a spring roll with plum sauce
two tootsie rolls (one blue, one raspberry)
a super size fries from mc dicks
two pieces of excel sugarfee gum
a quarter of a jar of marmalade
a thing of polenta
a falafel sandwich
a somali sandwich
3 dill pickles
a veggie dog
a bowl of corn flakes with maple syrup


Ever killed a living creature? once i poked a dead raccoon with a stick. it wasn't a very long stick either.

Ever saved a life? omce i spit on a worm so it would all squirm away off the sidewalk and it wouldnt dry up and die.

What did you draw pictures of when you were kindergarten? lots of scribbles. they said "i hat mum" at the bottom. i was quite the prankster even then.

If everyone including your mom were to tell you you have your head up your ass, would you
check to see if you do indeed have your head up your ass? how could i check? it'd be mighy dark in there.

Who can you not live without? (don't think about it!) you made me cry.

Religion? (Please, don't answer! This is the obligatory rhetorical question!) okay.

First car you drove & car you drive now? power wheels jeep. i was 14. now i ride the rocket.

Musical artist you used to like but don't admit to ever liking? i own a savage garden cd.

Secret you will take to your grave? i pulled the fire alarm by accident in kindergarten. then i pulled i again the next week on purpose cause i thought it was funny.

[Coke Cans]

The albinosquirl words:


Name: Craig
Nickname: Lord

Age: 21

Gender: male

Occupation: Computer engineering student

Parents: yes

Siblings: yes

Favorite school subject: Obviously I like programming classes. Aside from that, my favorite class right now is Astronomy & Astrophysics.

Favorite subject outside of all that thar book learnin': I don't know what that means.

Have you ever been charged with a crime: nope

Who's the Devil: the Devil is.

Is meat murder: no

Music: yeah, I like music.

Book: Books are good, too.

Movie: Star Wars

Seriously though, is meat really murder: Of course not.

Favorite game: There are so many...

Sexual position: Well... I have a severe oral fixation, so take from that what you will.

Ever been in a fight: yes.

Are you a Christmas geek: I'm not sure what that means.

What's less funny than a rubber chicken: the holocaust.

Do you like surprise parties: I don't really like any kind of party.

Quote:
"That pleasure which is at once the most pure, the most elevating and the most intense, is derived, I maintain, from the contemplation of the beautiful."
-Edgar Allan Poe

"Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be."
-William Hazlitt

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can excercise their constitutional right of amending it, or excercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it."
-Abraham Lincoln

"In a mad world only the mad are sane."
-Akira Kurosawa

Is sex best when it's with a stranger, best friend or worst enemy: Umm... best friend.

Ever had a broken bone? If not, what do you think you've been doing wrong: Yes, I have.

Do you vote: Of course.

If you were a nineteenth century captain of industry, what would you do when the ragamuffins on the street corner throw snowballs at your stovepipe hat: How should I know?

Customized or original factory condition: no.

Fish on Friday: Sure, if you're buying.

If you had to have sex with someone of a gender outside your usual sexual preference, who would it be with: Why on earth would I have to do that? Well, aside from the anal rape that my school inflicts upon its students on a constant basis.

Of Jimmy Carter, Gloria Steinum or Jesse Jackson, who would you place in supreme command of the U.S. nuclear arsenal: None of the above. If those are the only choices, we might as well just fire them all now.

Worst teacher you ever had: Either my fourth grade or seventh grade english teacher.

Best lawyer you ever had: Never had a lawyer.

Most you've ever eaten: Way too much.

Ever killed a living creature: Well, of course. It's impossible not to.

Ever saved a life: Many, many of them.

What did you draw pictures of when you were kindergarten: I don't know. That was a long time ago.

If everyone including your mom were to tell you you have your head up your ass, would you check to see if you ddo indeed have your head up your ass: How could I possibly tell?

Who can you not live without? (don't think about it!): Me.

Religion? (Please, don't answer! This is the obligatory rhetorical question!): Religion is good.

First car you drove & car you drive now: I don't drive.

Musical artist you used to like but don't admit to ever liking: I have nothing to hide.

Secret you will take to your grave: I'm not dead yet.

[Coke Cans]

Originally posted by Stoopid Jonny on 11-03-2000 01:08 AM


Name?I am bored and my name is Jon

Nickname? What do you think?

Age? Undetermined

Gender? Undetermined

Occupation? COBRA weapons specialist.

Parents? Yes

Siblings? Yes

Favorite school subject? History of Pornography.

Favorite subject outside of all that thar book learnin'? Kidknapping

Have you ever been charged with a crime? No

Who's the Devil? Mrs Jones

Is meat murder? Meat is theft.

Music? tree

Book? tree

Movie? leaf

Seriously though, is meat really murder? Shut up

Favorite game? Fuck this

Sexual position?

Ever been in a fight?

Are you a Christmas geek?

What's less funny than a rubber chicken?

Do you like surprise parties?

Quote?

Is sex best when it's with a stranger, best friend or worst enemy?

Ever had a broken bone? If not, what do you think you've been doing wrong?

Do you vote?

If you were a nineteenth century captain of industry, what would you do when the ragamuffins on the street corner throw snowballs at your stovepipe hat?

Customized or original factory condition?

Fish on Friday?

If you had to have sex with someone of a gender outside your usual sexual preference, who would it be with?

Of Jimmy Carter, Gloria Steinum or Jesse Jackson, who would you place in supreme command of the U.S. nuclear arsenal?

Worst teacher you ever had?

Best lawyer you ever had?

Most you've ever eaten?

Ever killed a living creature?

Ever saved a life?

What did you draw pictures of when you were kindergarten?

If everyone including your mom were to tell you you have your head up your ass, would you check to see if you ddo indeed have your head up your ass?

Who can you not live without? (don't think about it!)

Religion? (Please, don't answer! This is the obligatory rhetorical question!)

First car you drove & car you drive now?

Musical artist you used to like but don't admit to ever liking?

Secret you will take to your grave?

[Coke Cans]

Originally posted by strife_line on 11-03-2000 07:20 AM


Name? strife_line

Nickname? strife

Age? 17

Gender? M

Occupation? student

Parents? together

Siblings? one brother

Favorite school subject? Technological Studies

Favorite subject outside of all that thar book learnin'? CAD

Have you ever been charged with a crime? Who me?

Who's the Devil? me MWAAAAHAAAAHAAAA

Is meat murder? no

Music? short, fast and loud

Book? at present reading DOWN ON PONCE by Fred Willard

Movie? Grosse Pointe Blank

Seriously though, is meat really murder? havent we covered this all ready

Favorite game? online dominoes at games.yahoo.com

Ever been in a fight? sort of

Are you a Christmas geek? no

What's less funny than a rubber chicken? nothing in the whole world

Do you like surprise parties? no

Quote? "i dont want the meaning of life, i want the experience of being alive" :- Joe Quirk

Ever had a broken bone? If not, what do you think you've been doing wrong? No

Do you vote? i will when 18

If you were a nineteenth century captain of industry, what would you do when the ragamuffins on the street corner throw snowballs at your stovepipe hat? join them

Customized or original factory condition? customized

Fish on Friday? excuse me

Worst teacher you ever had? Mr Draphin (art)

Best lawyer you ever had? never needed one

Ever killed a living creature? just bugs

Ever saved a life? not as far as i know

What did you draw pictures of when you were kindergarten? dont remember

If everyone including your mom were to tell you you have your head up your ass, would you
check to see if you ddo indeed have your head up your ass? i imagine i be able to feel it if it was

First car you drove & car you drive now? leartning to drive in a Pugeot

Musical artist you used to like but don't admit to ever liking? why would i want to admit now of all times? but okay

Secret you will take to your grave? that im dead

[Coke Cans]

Originally posted by traumaboy on 11-03-2000 11:37 AM

ok, here goes..and no I probably haven't filled it out in it's entirety..

Name: Jamie

Nickname: Muppet, Jamington

Age:23

Gender:gee, can you guess.(clue: trauma"boy")

Occupation:Not right now thanks

Parents:2- 1 da, 1 ma, currently mid-divorce

Siblings:Brother called Dave who's 21

Favourite School subject: English

Favourite subject outside of all that learnin':armchair psychology

Ever been charged with a crime: nope

Who is the Devil:a guy called Steve Doyle

Is meat murder: yes,unless the cow died of natural causes

Music: anything from Burt Bacharach to Discordance Axis

Book: preferably any Raymond Carver,JD Salinger or John Updike.at this exact moment Lauren Slater "The Prozac Diaries"

Movie:"Blue Velvet" and (don't kill me) "Reality Bites".I'm a sap, I know.

Game:Sugarbowl of Fortune

Sexual Position:girl on top is the first one that springs to mind so let's leave it at that..

Ever been in a fight:Yes

Are you a Christmas Geek:No, I'm the Grinch

What's less funny than a rubber chicken:Jim Carey

Do you like surprise parties:depends how surprised I am

Quote:One day,maybe not in the next few weeks,but certainly in the conceivable future, somebody will be able to refer to me without using the word "arse" somewhere in the same sentence - Nick Hornby

Is sex best when it's with a stranger,your worst enemy or your best friend:I've never had sex with my best friend(s) but I'll go for best friend cos I've done the other two and it was horrible

Ever broken a bone?If not,what do you think you've been doing wrong?:No,amazingly..I always sober up too fast

Do you vote:yep

Customized or in original factory condition:customized sounds good

Fish on Friday:no,or any other day for that matter


If you had to have sex with someone outside the gender of your usual sexual preference, who would it be with: umm..Jeff Buckley I think.Even if he is dead..hehe

Worst Teacher:all of them bar my English teachers

Best Lawyer you ever had:I did Legal Studies in college for 2 years, so I'll say "me"

Most you've ever eaten:I honestly have no idea

Ever killed a living creature:not that I know of

Ever saved a life:I doubt it

What did you draw pictures of in kindergarten:dogs, my house,and me

the thing about having your head up yer ass:I wouldn't be able to hear,so I can't answer that really..

Who could you not live without:hmmm...never you mind..

Religion?

First car you ever drove and the car you own now:Can't drive I'm afraid..

Musical artist you used to like but never admit to liking:*********

Secret you will take with you to your grave:
the real answers to one or two of these questions...

[Coke Cans]

Originally posted by thefist on 11-03-2000 12:27 PM

Name: Bret

Nickname: the guy with the tight pants, asshole

Age:20

Gender:i'm a guy

Occupation:bitch at the caontemporary art museum

Parents:who's going to answer no here?

Siblings:Brother, he's 18 and taller than me

Favourite School subject: spelling i guess, 'cos i recognized this subject is spelled wrong

Favourite subject outside of all that learnin':that's a dumb question

Ever been charged with a crime: yes

Who is the Devil harmaceutical industry, chargin' me out the ass for being unstable

Is meat murder: god i hope so, that makes me so much tougher

Music: anything that compliments my nightly ritual of drinking myself to sleep o the floor

Book: right now, women by charles bukowski. or the jimmy corrigan novel by c. ware


Movie:Barton Fink or Bullit
.

Game rink yourself to sleep

Sexual Position:fuck off

Ever been in a fight:Yes, last week, but it was with a friend, and for fun, so whatever

Are you a Christmas Geek:what the fuck does this mean?

What's less funny than a rubber chicken:97.3% of the posts on here

Do you like surprise parties:i wouldn't know

Quote: "I drink mixed drinks so i won't get fat"- my friend on his alcohol selection

Is sex best when it's with a stranger,your worst enemy or your best friend nce again, fuck off (these questions are depressing me)

Ever broken a bone?If not,what do you think you've been doing wrong?:yes, a whole lot of them

Do you vote:yeah

Customized or in original factory condition:another question that i can't answer due to my inability to read minds, what does this mean

Fish on Friday:is this some secular question?

If you had to have sex with someone outside the gender of your usual sexual preference, who would it be with: whoever would give it up, or jakob dylan

Worst Teacher:this girl i know teaches mindergarten and does alot of heroin, hta's fucked

Best Lawyer you ever had:the one i have right now, i forget her name, ut she's good.

Most you've ever eaten:god i wish i could afford to have an answer to this question

Ever killed a living creature:a bird, when i was in 7th grade, oh, and fish, i like to fish

Ever saved a life:i'll just go ahead and say yes

What did you draw pictures of in kindergarten:same shit i do now

the thing about having your head up yer ass eople wouldn't tell me, they'd just sit back and laugh as i stumble around blindly

Who could you not live without:that's a lame question, no one.

Religion?i don't care

First car you ever drove and the car you own now:1st-'82 chevy chevvete, now- '83 toyota tercel, man i'm moving up

Musical artist you used to like but never admit to liking: i still really like the wallflowers,and jellyfish, yeah, jellyfish

Secret you will take with you to your grave:
bitch is just a funny word

[jones]

Where exactly did you post this, Coke Cans? Sounds like a board that attracts a particularly dull mix of the surly and humorless. Is everyone under 20 so thoroughly disagreeable?

take care

---jones

------------------
"what Marie's not gonna do"
new chapters in Works & Days
a punk rock romance in words, music & art
http://www.freehomepages.com/worksanddays

[gollum]

to prove that not everyone in the 20 and under age range is dull and humorless, i decided to post for myself. i may do one for Sarah (my character from the California story) later. won't do one for Thomas, though--he doesn't have a computer or email, and even if he did, he wouldn't fill one of these out. (well, maybe if Adriana asked him to....nah, prolly not.)

Name? k8

Nickname? *sigh* i'd tell you, but jones would probably make fun of me for it. besides, only my mom can call me that.

Age? 20, for a couple more months

Gender? semi-grrl

Occupation? stoodent...

Parents? yup, my mother (Mom) and my father (Dad)

Siblings? yup, one, she's 17. which makes me feel old.

Favorite school subject? band...

Favorite subject outside of all that thar book learnin'? the variance in texture between the wrappers of snickers bars and reese's peanut butter cups.

Have you ever been charged with a crime? nope, not yet, but i've prolly got an FBI file.

Who's the Devil? jones.

Is meat murder? If god had intended for us to not eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of MEAT!1 <eg>

Music? lots of it. i like to play drums. i like to sing. i wish i could play guitar (but i've pretty much decided i'm utterly talentless in that area). i like listening to everything from fred neil (about as stripped down and bare-bones as you can get) to radiohead (go listen to kid a and you'll see what i mean).

Book? lots of 'em. when i was little, my mom would take my books away to punish me. not sure which one's my favorite, though.

Movie? just watched Cube...that's a mindf#ck of a movie if i've ever seen one.

Seriously though, is meat really murder? no. it's really yummy, though.

Favorite game? texas hold'em.

Sexual position? i'll have to get back to you on this one.

Ever been in a fight? nope. almost took a baseball bat to someone's head last year, but other than that, i'm pretty much a pacifist.

Are you a Christmas geek? no. i'm a bah humbug geek. my dad and i like to stomp around together and bitch about the capitalistic exploitation of christmas and how stupid everyone is, and then we get all goopy when everyone shows up on christmas day, and he and i both get really pissed when people fight on christmas. but as Bruno once said, "What do you do with a holiday about a pacifist you don't believe in who ended up inspiring two thousand years of killing?"

What's less funny than a rubber chicken? i would say your mom, but since she got that credit card swipe machine surgically implanted into her back......

Do you like surprise parties? yeah. no one's ever thrown one for me. actually, the only surprise party i've ever been to, i ended up getting there after the "SURPRISE!1" part. kinda shitty, if ya ask me.

Quote? "if you don't ask me out to dinner i don't eat" -radiohead

Is sex best when it's with a stranger, best friend or worst enemy? all of the above are better than when i'm with your mom...

Ever had a broken bone? nope

If not, what do you think you've been doing wrong? hey, man, blame my mom--she always made me get down out of the damn tree.

Do you vote? yup. already did this year (hooray for absentee ballots--thanks to them, i get to ignore all the last minute pandering and mudslinging--woohoo!1)

If you were a nineteenth century captain of industry, what would you do when the ragamuffins on the street corner throw snowballs at your stovepipe hat? if i were a nineteenth century captain of industry, i'd be trying to figure out why the ragamuffins weren't already enslaved in my factories, making money for me.

Customized or original factory condition? neither, secondhand.

Fish on Friday? nah. don't really like fish. too many fishstick nights at the gollum household.

If you had to have sex with someone of a gender outside your usual sexual preference, who would it be with? uh, outside my usual sexual preference? what would that be, a rhinocerous???

Of Jimmy Carter, Gloria Steinum or Jesse Jackson, who would you place in supreme command of the U.S. nuclear arsenal? Jesse Jackson. Jimmy's a little old (and does a much better job building houses than being in charge of nuclear weapons) and Gloria's a bit too angry to be given any weapons. (hmm. i wonder if i coulda gotten away with saying that last part if i were a guy...)

Worst teacher you ever had? Mrs. Crowley. bitch. grrrrrrrr. ya gotta love a teacher who leaves the room during a final and then accuses you of cheating when you were one of two people who wasn't. not that i'm bitter or anything.

grrr.

Best lawyer you ever had? my dad...in all those battles with my mother.

Most you've ever eaten? the time Tony, Orly and i went to this seafood restaurant in houston and split two appetizers and four entrees between the three of us, and our waiter bet the manager we could eat all of it, so to help him win his bet, we ate all of it...oh god, that hurt.

but he won the bet. and got a pretty damn good tip, to boot.

Ever killed a living creature? i think i hit a squirrel with my car the other day but the only things i've ever killed intentionally are bugs, and i've stopped even doing that now.

Ever saved a life? nope. i'm a veritable waste of oxygen.

What did you draw pictures of when you were kindergarten? i don't remember, but they probably got me in trouble.

If everyone including your mom were to tell you you have your head up your ass, would you check to see if you do indeed have your head up your ass? no, coz i never believe anything my mom tells me.

Who can you not live without? (don't think about it!) my dad.

Religion? (Please, don't answer! This is the obligatory rhetorical question!) (insert obligitory rhetorical answer here)

First car you drove & car you drive now? the first car i drove was this little neon we drove in driver's ed, and then on the last day of driver's ed, my dad brought what is now my car (an '86 crown victoria--BIG car) and let me drive home...not funny.

Musical artist you used to like but don't admit to ever liking? why the f#ck would i tell you now???

Secret you will take to your grave? ask me in about 50 years...

thanks for playing!1
-g

------------------
Sometimes i think everyone on this board is crazy. The rest of the time i'm sure. -Dan
somehow i see [gollum] clinging to a tower and rousingly calling for a new world order. -starky

food is food & sex is sex
i'vehadmyfill
iwanttodefect
-ra di o he(a)d

[Coke Cans]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jones:
Where exactly did you post this, Coke Cans?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

At a punkrock board. So yeah.. I suppose they are without humor. I can't say my answers were exactly great, but they were honest.