Open

[Fliptastic29]

Open eyes like open books
are read by what can be
seen and understood by the open mind.

Open is the Door that welcomes company
Open are the legs that desire sympathy
Open is the oven that bakes away dreams
Open are the wings of fallen angels last scene.

A door closed hides secrets forgotten
A mind closed is a mind nevermore.


I don't have a clue what to do to this but i definatley know it needs a lot more. And the last 2 lines don't flow with me right. Please help OB One Kanobi your my only hope!

[pixxie]

First off, gotta say i LOVE the line "open are the legs that desire sympathy". i think it's absolutely fabulous. Maybe say "a closed mind masks secrets never learned" or something to better tie the last line in with the one before it a little better. ALso toy with doing more closed lines since you have so many open ones that precede those two. It would help give the poem length. Gosh, really love that that one line!!

[Fliptastic29]

That's funny that you love that line. I kept looking at it and questioning wether i should use it or not. But the more i thought about it the more i wanted to keep it.