Falling Apart

[Hannibal]

I spend more time talking to people

Who don?t listen to a single thing I say,

Than I do speaking with you.



Your words always leave me wanting,

And we fall short.



You?re so courageous as you find the nerve,

To fuck me.

It?s amazing to me,

That we can even look each other in the eyes.



I can?t remember the last time

I lost myself in your gaze,

Or you in mine.

[Kalyope]

Wow, this poem leaves me feeling empty...due to content not quality [img]smile.gif[/img] It seems like an emotionless relationship and that's sad. I wanted to play with the lines in the second half a bit. This is what I came up with:

To fuck me. It?s amazing
That we can even look each other
in the eyes. I can?t remember
the last time I lost myself
in your gaze,Or you in mine.

Of course this meeses up the line structure of the beginning of the poem, but I loved the line "to fuck me. It's amazing". What a pat on the back, eh?

[Hannibal]

You & Machinery - and your enjambment (or however you spell it!)

I guess I understand it... like what you want to see done...

I'm just not very good at doing it (yet)

I'll have to practice more - not that this one was neccesarily after that effect... but whatever [img]smile.gif[/img]

and thanks for hte kind wordxs