Table

[Hannibal]

It was always interesting talking with you because I could feel
All the lies seething from your skin
inch by inch the lies piled up
inch by inch the clothing came off
And they would fuck you.

You weren't a powerful person and you knew it
So you would suck cock
Fuck cock
Anything to get a step up
To make them want you
And all the power that you were lacking

Your words meant so much to me
And I hate you for it.
I hate you for allowing me to think for one second
It was okay to let someone be there
To think for one second that another person could understand
I forgot all about the rage that filled my mind
The depression that drown my brain in tears I refused to cry
I felt good.
You felt good.
Lies feel good.

You liar.

I was a fool to think for one second truth could feel so welcoming
Or that you could speak truth with your words.

I'm glad I never fucked you
Never gave you the satisfaction of complete control.
It wasn't until I realized what you were
That I was able to shut you off.

Your voice and my thoughts are on different wavelengths now
I don't speak unless spoken to
I won't move unless it's required
I'm just stalking my prey.
My prey is just talking.

The more you talk
The more I want to destroy you
So I listen and wait.

[Kalyope]

Hmmm, I really like the line "All the lies seething from your skin" it's a great image. I feel, however, that your poem lives in the last few stanzas.

"I don't speak unless spoken to
I won't move unless it's required
I'm just stalking my prey.
My prey is just talking.

The more you talk
The more I want to destroy you
So I listen and wait."

This part is so perfect. It's so straight to the point...no witticisms or pretty language. It's raw. It's great. I think you have a lot of other great lines too, but also a bit that doesn't need to be there. I really liked the repetition of
"I felt good.
You felt good.
Lies feel good."
It just rolled off of the tongue. Overall I think it's another powerful piece, but I would suggest a little bit of editing once the emotion isn't clouding your brain so much. Anger can lead to overly graphic poems. [img]smile.gif[/img] Hang in there Killa

[Hannibal]

It was always interesting talking with you
I could feel all the lies
seething from your skin
inch by inch the lies piled up
inch by inch the clothing came off
And they would fuck you.

You weren't a powerful person and you knew it
So you would suck off whoever it took
Anything to get a step up and make them want you
You and all of your power that
You didn't have.

Your words meant so much to me
And I hate you for it.
I hate you for allowing me to think for one second
It was okay to let someone be there
To think for one second that another person could understand
I forgot all about the rage that filled my mind
The depression that drown my brain in tears I refused to cry
I felt good.
You felt good.
Lies feel good.

You liar.

I was a fool to think for one second
truth could feel so welcoming
Or that you could speak truth with your words.

I'm glad I never fucked you
Never gave you the satisfaction of complete control.
It wasn't until I realized what you were
That I was able to shut you off.

Your voice and my thoughts are on different wavelengths now
I don't speak unless spoken to
I won't move unless it's required
I'm just stalking my prey.
My prey is just talking.

The more you talk
The more I want to destroy you
So I listen and wait.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Made some edits - better? worse? Tried to adjust line length a little, and maybe take out some of the unnecessary stuff that might have been "over the top"

[Kalyope]

It reads much smoother now. I think it's a much stronger piece with the edits you have made. It still has a raw edge which is great, I had hoped you would be able to keep that through the edits. The end is still my favorite. Such a powerful way to end the poem.