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Thread: add rhythm

  1. #1
    Junior Hostboard Member thenewrant's Avatar
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    Lightbulb add rhythm

    typewriter hums to let me know it's there
    even when not powered, sonorous buzzing,
    desire to be handled.

    the keys to its yearning grubby,
    the ink dry upon the ribbon,

    but its possible pitch and pounce upon the page
    is something I want to feel in this low-lit
    attic.

    open window, muttering city slithers in and combines,
    harmonious whimpering.

    I stand above city and machine,
    ready to add rhythm.
    Last edited by thenewrant; September 13th, 2013 at 11:35 AM.

  2. #2
    HB Forum Owner parch's Avatar
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    Re: add rhythm

    there ya go at the end.
    "I stand above city and machine,
    ready to add rhythm."
    -that's an image. I like.

    the rest is okay,
    but the end is the beginning.
    or just a good ending.

    of course, that wouldn't be your thing, the end at the beginning.
    you often start out small, and the end is bigger.

    anyway, you're obviously working the words in this. so good work there.

  3. #3
    Senior Hostboard Member Hannibal's Avatar
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    Re: add rhythm

    Have thoughts, will have to come back to this though.
    Madness becomes you, when you are sick.

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