20,000 leagues below

[Fliptastic29]

I sit alone, befuddled,
Alone in a darkness that even,
I,
Cannot fix.
Uncertain of remedies to heal,
Stuck in a rut;
I do find myself.
Find myself in physical form but
Not in mental. My mind has gone off to another world,
And refuses to come back.
20,000 leagues and falling,
It slowly descends,
Until abruptly landing on the ocean floor.
Everything remains dark,
Peaceful;
and? quiet.
So quiet,
you can hear,
hate manifesting above.
A world of screamers and believers lie above,
Do I dare face them?
A revelation comes forward from behind,
Do onto others as you want done to you,
And hold to your heart true,
Be honest and stay away from lies,
Do all of these and you will find, freedom,
Freedom;
Of your mind.
Flying higher than ever flown,
Stars to and fro,
Endless,
I see the real me.

[Hannibal]

I liked it up until the end.
.
I just think the end could've had a little more transition to it.
You were on the ocean floor, and now you're flying, without mention of the rise from the water or anything...
I really liked it up until

Flying higher than ever flown,
Stars to and fro,
Endless,
I see the real me.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">those last few lines...
They just seemed kinda forced, like you were searching for a way to end the poem forcefully.
.
Otherwise, I really liked it.
Good job, keep writin!