all rite and here's mine then

[ranter]

*** i did this with no prior knowledge to s.s.'s "old man"-just so ya know***

wrinkled & crooked: like a damp silk shirt escaped from the bottom of an old wicker laundry hamper and akin to that which ends each and all of our so many inquiries; glossed & glazed far-thought eyes, where oncesaw you azure and robust now only do they utter spouts of clouded grey and veiny cross-hairs, when opened. chapped and broken more than any coldest drydock days of winter, but still chortles out those infamous anti-aging phrases:
-Oh, mah tail's still green, he groans as the next door neighbors daughter passes by, or
-Ah can still snap that there whip wit' the uh, best of 'em all, as the saliva just builds up in his mouth and drips down his chin
vigor and vitality fleet through time to time from here and there when he needs to wisp away to the yellow old meadows or broken brown forests
But, alas! no more does he don his ripped & elbow thin red woolen overshirt or sport his strikingly favorite double-breasted gold-buttoned blue blazer from his VFW glory days; days when he could distinguish the smell between the daffodills and marigolds as he walked by his wife's flowerbed planted alongside the walkway on the side of the house, days he could sing everyword to his favorite songs by the shirelles and the drifters, days when he could still remember his wedding vows, days when he knew what love was.
no hair on that head;
no limp in that leg;
no sense in that speech;
no eros in that eye;

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[Soiled Soul]

Interesting. i know what your saying but i am unsure of what you are trying to say. no thats wrong i was looking at it as a piece and not as a character description. as a description i really like it. You describe the man in his present but also give us a lot of background into him beyond his sight or his current feeble condition. i think the last four lines kinda throw me off a little though.

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[machinery]

it's weird that we talked about Walter Mathow in the yester at dinner. The descriptions in this are very very concrete....it was an excellent slideshow of none other than Walter Mathow doing all the things you just stated.

"like a damp silk shirt escaped from the bottom of an old wicker laundry hamper"
can't get any more descriptive or concrete.......really fucking liking this.....

It's not so much your descriptions of what he looks like, but what he does in the little movie inside your head....

"or sport his strikingly favorite double-breasted gold-buttoned blue blazer from his VFW glory days; days when he could distinguish the smell between the daffodills and marigolds as he walked by his wife's flowerbed planted alongside the walkway on the side of the house, days he could sing everyword to his favorite songs by the shirelles and the drifters, days when he could still remember his wedding vows, days when he knew what love was."

wow, simply amazing........the VFW days, yass! does he have the hat, that's what I want to know........and how you make reference to when he could "remember"...

is this a chracther flaw? - does it insinuate something? Thom, I really really fucking liked this.....you think you could actually persist on this....and make something more more more more out of it?????

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[ranter]

calm down man, or you will soon have to change your pants-eeewwwww.

no hat. there's no hat. he had on that head, long flowing lightning white hair that they design wigs after, no need to cover that with a stupid felt and wool brown and blue checkered hat. bah! Bah i say unto thee.

old people just cannot remember. plain and simple, even the ones that can, they really cant, they dont know where they put their teeth, or where to shit. (again, no offense to any of the older people hosting, i understand i am exaggerating.)

and machine, uh, hate to break it to you, but walter mathou is dead man. live in the now

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[paige11]

of the few posts i've read here so far, this one was totally different, i guess cause you were going for a description, not a poem type thing? but it seemed like poetry, it was like a good introduction to a book or movie, and i think i like the last 4 lines how they are, they provide an ending, and a unique one at that.

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