strip joint Saturday night

[machinery]

i believe it's prose too..i actually mentioned in there ( I think) I just got caught in the moment and never stopped....and I want to apologize to all my friends...i've become so different...but that's me for now...temporary hidden in my notes of notebook...

[parch]

ok hooch
i liked it...i wished you hadn't put it in those short lines cause for me it took away something....if you varied the line length or something...it would be more --- interesting. i don't like anything having to do w/ the guy that got you in the bar...that part lost me...the part leading from luke on was great......and your description of sweat...etc..great...
i also like the ending cause it seems to lead away from the joint...
and the interraction w/ vanity in the poem, as well as the use of her, is nice.

just wish it was fomatted differently. and some stuff could be editted out.

___---parch

[machinery]

thanks for your input...i am actually revising (and have been for a week or two) it's hard to take stuff out....i think it's just the moment...and I don't want to fuck with it....that was it..and I don't want to break it.....

[parch]

i think you wanted me to go thru it..right?..maybe not...
but you left a copy of it w/ me..
so i did go thru it
and i haven't sent my comments to you yet
but i will