Torn

[Kalyope]

Your fingers tear
the tender flesh
of my underarm
as you throw
me onto the
soggy pavement.

Your fingers tear
my cotton t-shirt
and panties as
you hungrily attack
my smooth skin.

Your fingers tear
at my legs
and my breasts
as you seek
penetration.

My eyes fill
with tears as
you thrust deeper--
threatening to
tear me apart.

[Hannibal]

I had originally had a reply in mind for this one some time ago...

But I'm glad I held off. Initially this work was a bit un-polished to me.

I still feel that it could use some polishing.. in the first couple stanzas you use some adjectives to help us see what you're describing...
for example:
"tender flesh"
"soggy pavement"
"cotton t-shirt"
"smooth skin"

While I think even those images could be brushed up... the later stanzas are missing those entirely. It goes from being a somewhat clear, rather abrupt poem... to an even fuzzier, abrupt poem.
The ending obviously is very "grabby" and just stops you in your tracks...

But I think that ending would be much more effective if the poem was much more clear and precise up until the last stanza. I think it'd help take away from the overall rough feel of the poem, and add that clarity so we can paint a clear picture in our minds...

just an idea :-D