It Was

[Hannibal]

Maybe it was just the warm soup and cold weather,

Or it could've been our shelter from the cold,
A small truck cabin with air we shared.

When I walked away,
Your feeling lingered.

[Hannibal]

Those are some good ideas on where to go to make this better.

Last night I tried, and tried... but I felt I was forcing it way too much and just hating what I came up with.

So in the end, I just cut it down to what it was to begin with..and left it at that.

But I like your ideas... I think I could do something with it. They instantly had me thinking of lines.

[Kalyope]

I want more from this. It seems like a really good beginning to something. I'm trying to think of a suggestion as to which direction to take it in, but I've got nothing. Wait, maybe start out with description of the soup. and the truck. Give us a little background on the situation. I'd really like to see where you take this.