The Dream of Flight

[Fliptastic29]

Every dreamed of flying?
The euphoric feeling of the wind in you hair,face and eyes.
The ease by which you can travel,
and the sudden heroic need to save people.
Blue skies, green praries,
Black holes.
Ever really flied?
I think i haved,
Right now,
Music powers my ability to fly,
I fly through the sky,
I fly through time,
I fly here,
I fly there,
I feel free, and i feel that i can never fail,
Black surrounds me,
lights flash bright,
sweat covers my face,
and the girl next to me wants my body,
she wants to be part of me,
she wants to feel what i feel,
but she can't this feeling of flight,
is mine, and no one can take it,
and music you are my fuel,
you give me this euphoric feeling,
with you i can clear my mind,
i can actually think,
and i love you,
i love you music,
for your ability to give me flight.
The bass beat, the treble high,
the awesome feeling of freedom,
just allows me to let go of all my weights and just float, fly.
I guess what i want to say is thankyou for being their for me.
ANd i'll never forget you and what you do for me. This is a ramble from the flipmaster dedicated to all that love music like i do

[Hannibal]

In some of your peices - some lines remind me so much of Machinery's early writings.
Remember those days machinery?
You may not see the parallel (machinery) but I do.

Some things just stand out and make me think of his early days Flippity.

The difference is, he's continued to write so long, and has raised his level so many times, his style has really come into it's own.

Your stuff is nice work - but i urge you to continue to write - and stretch your imagination.

Use a dictionary to seek out new words and try to use them in a work. Really try to expand - or shorten other ideas you may have.
Although I liked this peice (Because I too love music)
It seemed rather commonplace (moreso than your other works), kind of like something anyone could/would write about music...
With some editing - maybe some more splashes of the creativity that is "Flippity" this could become a totally unique poem with more of an individual voice.

I like the idea - but this one just seems a bit more generic than some of your other works Flipster.
Maybe that's because it reminds me of some of machinery's earlier works, and my own, so I just figure everyone writes "that way" at some time...
perhaps just continuing to write is the cure...
but.. this one could be "more"

Not bad - but not great.

[themechanicalbadger]

flied?
haved?
Sorry, that was the bit that stood out the most to me...

Surely you mean flown? and have?

I really liked it, but that bit just put me off...

[Hannibal]

Flip and I spoke of this - this weekend actually.
I'm sure those spelling errors are just that...
again - something more than would come with more and more writing I think...
Also - maybe some mis-usage of words.. not in this poem, but in others... where the word used - means something other than the context intends for it to mean.
Some of Machinerys early work suffered a small bit from this as well (again - the parallel)

but yah - I believe those to be just honest mistakes from him just crammin out the work in a matter of moments.

[Fliptastic29]

this is true hanny. Like i told you this weekend, i usually write just off of impulse i don't like to go back and correct mistakes. I write and then i let it up to you guys to analyze and criticize my works. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[machinery]

what han is trying to say, i think, is that you are telling us of this great journey of flight by way of music. but what we want is for you to show us. it seems like a list. no offense, but have you ever hung out with a person that was high all the time and spoke blandly of life?

well, man. yeah. ha....

give me a push. make your words shove my brain, slap my imagination man.

and fuck the list structure.

break it up.
do you think birds fly in the same pattern all the time?
hell no? sometimes they dip, swooping down south and so on.

if you could fly...would it be so bland?


some words to think about...

get back with more.

[Hannibal]

Wow - you took a subtle aspect of my post - and completely made it your own.
Yes - I think that's what I was trying to say - but I couldn't quite catch the words.
Kind of like when somethigns on the tip of your tongue - but you dont know what it is until someone else says it.
Thanks Machine!