Re: How Women Hug Chapter 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Thotless
Very well written, but I wish I hadn't spent the time since there was no outcome and nothing resolved.
Thotless,
I'll try to resolve that in chapter 3. Stay tuned! :)
AP
Re: How Women Hug Chapter 2
While I understand this criticism, I wonder if there is really anything to "resolve" in this particular story? I guess the outcome of this particular evening's entertainment, but I think we can bet that the two women will keep testing themselves against each other for a while to come!
On the other hand, I'm happy to hear that a chapter 3 is on the way!
JB
Re: How Women Hug Chapter 2
I gotta agree with Thotless somewhat. Don’t get me wrong I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and in no way shape or form thought it was a waste of my time. I thought it was amazingly hot with the erotic flair that Apenman is known for. Which in my opinion why he is one of the best writers. But I was a little disappointed that one of the two lovely ladies pair did not best the others. To me the fight seemed very personal. Anita in the first chapter was very paranoid and self conscious that David was comparing her chest to Jasmines. In the second chapter it seemed that Jasmine was playing off that and used it to kind of goad Anita into the fight. Being a fan of titfights more so than sexfights I was a little disappointed there no clear winner who got to ride off into the sunset with young David. Now if there is a third chapter coming than never mind my rant, either I love your work Apenman and keep them coming.
Re: How Women Hug Chapter 2
I think apenman has entered new territory with this story. He is beginning to like writing the plot and buildup more than the actual fight. Frankly, as a writer its boring to keep writing stuff like "their breasts met and the touch of flesh sent shivers down the womens spines" over and over again. Its the same obsession repeated over and over again, theres nothing more to add. So these days, I love stories with intriguing suspenseful plots more than ones where there is a lot of sexfighting. Both apenman's mothers-daughters and this story had quite a bit of suspense. Even beth and sandra had some plot twists/surprises like the pizza delivery guy.
Exception are JB57's stories where he takes us to different worlds like the one with the two archaeologists which is more sex focused than plot focused.
But I wish writers on this forum would focus more on buildup.
Re: How Women Hug Chapter 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by
slim20
I gotta agree with Thotless somewhat. Don’t get me wrong I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and in no way shape or form thought it was a waste of my time. I thought it was amazingly hot with the erotic flair that Apenman is known for. Which in my opinion why he is one of the best writers. But I was a little disappointed that one of the two lovely ladies pair did not best the others. To me the fight seemed very personal. Anita in the first chapter was very paranoid and self conscious that David was comparing her chest to Jasmines. In the second chapter it seemed that Jasmine was playing off that and used it to kind of goad Anita into the fight. Being a fan of titfights more so than sexfights I was a little disappointed there no clear winner who got to ride off into the sunset with young David. Now if there is a third chapter coming than never mind my rant, either I love your work Apenman and keep them coming.
slim20,
Thank you so much! And there is a chapter three coming, although I'm not sure what, if anything will be "decided." :)
AP
- - - Updated - - -
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kamafight
I think apenman has entered new territory with this story. He is beginning to like writing the plot and buildup more than the actual fight. Frankly, as a writer its boring to keep writing stuff like "their breasts met and the touch of flesh sent shivers down the womens spines" over and over again. Its the same obsession repeated over and over again, theres nothing more to add. So these days, I love stories with intriguing suspenseful plots more than ones where there is a lot of sexfighting. Both apenman's mothers-daughters and this story had quite a bit of suspense. Even beth and sandra had some plot twists/surprises like the pizza delivery guy.
Exception are JB57's stories where he takes us to different worlds like the one with the two archaeologists which is more sex focused than plot focused.
But I wish writers on this forum would focus more on buildup.
kamafight,
In the late 70s to early 80s, unless it was a major production like Deep Throat, Behind The Green Door or The Devil In Miss Jones, the porn of that era was pretty bleak and mindless. I mean, the women looked nice (Annette Haven, Desiree Cousteau) and the guys were all "hung," but unless you were watching a full length feature film (using those terms loosely) the rest was just pounding your pud material.
The point here is that, whether it was the plumber, the electrician or the pizza delivery guy, the dude knocking on the door always got laid. I always thought that was hilarious. That's why I decided to use it in Beth and Sandra 3. Problem is, I don't know if there's anyone here on the forum old enough to get the reference. LOL!
I 100% agree. How many ways can one articulate "their clitorises met deep inside the lush folds of cunt flesh."
It gets a bit tedious after a while. That's why you'll see me change my style every so often.
I may not always succeed, but I mostly try to make each story and each chapter within a story different from the last, as I'm sure the other writers do. I use humor to keep myself interested in the story just as much as I use it to make you kids laugh.
Anyway, before I start sounding like a Trump-ian exercise in self-aggrandizement, I'll end this post.
Thanks for your comments.
AP
PS. I sent you a PM.
Re: How Women Hug Chapter 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by
apenman
slim20,
Thank you so much! And there is a chapter three coming, although I'm not sure what, if anything will be "decided." :)
AP
- - - Updated - - -
kamafight,
In the late 70s to early 80s, unless it was a major production like Deep Throat, Behind The Green Door or The Devil In Miss Jones, the **** of that era was pretty bleak and mindless. I mean, the women looked nice (Annette Haven, Desiree Cousteau) and the guys were all "hung," but unless you were watching a full length feature film (using those terms loosely) the rest was just pounding your pud material.
The point here is that, whether it was the plumber, the electrician or the pizza delivery guy, the dude knocking on the door always got laid. I always thought that was hilarious. That's why I decided to use it in Beth and Sandra 3. Problem is, I don't know if there's anyone here on the forum old enough to get the reference. LOL!
I 100% agree. How many ways can one articulate "their ********es met deep inside the lush folds of **** flesh."
It gets a bit tedious after a while. That's why you'll see me change my style every so often.
I may not always succeed, but I mostly try to make each story and each chapter within a story different from the last, as I'm sure the other writers do. I use humor to keep myself interested in the story just as much as I use it to make you kids laugh.
Anyway, before I start sounding like a Trump-ian exercise in self-aggrandizement, I'll end this post.
Thanks for your comments.
AP
PS. I sent you a PM.
I got the reference now that you mentioned it :) I am a bit slow, getting references and metaphors and allegories. Good interesting stuff, anyway. You, an elderly man is driving innovation in what was a tired fetish genre with few patrons.
Re: How Women Hug Chapter 2
I certainly got the reference the first time! It did not occur to me that others did not - it's such a cliche in the mainstream world I thought it was obvious! As I recall, in that "Beth and Sandra" story, the pizza guy gave Beth a reference for a busty pizza girl, so there is hope for building on the cliche!
The point about "buildup mattering" is a key consideration for me. I would not be able to write any of these stories if I did not have to work on the different scenarios. Kamafight is correct - there are only so many ways to describe a sex fight. I think that what keeps the story fresh and interesting are the details of the plot/setting. In my last story, "Duranna", the buildup was about 10 pages before Duranna's opponent, Allanar, even appeared. In that case, I threw in a male/female sex scene about 4-5 pages in, so it wasn't all just set-up, but it was still mostly world-building. (BTW, "Duranna" is almost done and the last part should be up within the next few days). Currently, I'm working on a new story where the buildup is also taking some time. Don't get me wrong: getting to the sex is the key goal of all these stories. But how you get there and -for me- how much you build the suspense is key. That is one of the reasons that I really love kingofdapirate's stories. He is masterful at building and building suspense until his readers are practically tearing out their hair! (Well, speaking for myself). And the payoff is always great. To my mind, nothing is more boring than a sex fight story that does not set up a good scenario. In a previous post, I mentioned how a lot of my stories come from visual inspirations. I find the most exciting part of the process is giving those visual cues a backstory.
BTW, this does not mean that the story has to be overly long or dragged out or that the scenario has to be too detailed. There are lots of short stories (or relatively short stories) that establish their scenario and get into the sex pretty quickly that work wonderfully well. Some of APenman's earlier stories are like this and the first "Beth and Sandra" story is a masterclass in "less is more" in that the scenario is beautifully established and allowed to build on itself until we are allowed to see the erotic showdown that started outside of our view. All of Angeldawn's stories did not waste much time getting down to business (though she played out some confrontations for a while, building suspense) but the world in which these events were happening was well-established.
Anyway, I'm overcomplicating things. All I'm trying to say is that, in my view, the setting/scenario is key to making a story work and, for me as a writer, key to making the story interesting.
JB57
Re: How Women Hug Chapter 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JB57
I certainly got the reference the first time! It did not occur to me that others did not - it's such a cliche in the mainstream world I thought it was obvious! As I recall, in that "Beth and Sandra" story, the pizza guy gave Beth a reference for a busty pizza girl, so there is hope for building on the cliche!
The point about "buildup mattering" is a key consideration for me. I would not be able to write any of these stories if I did not have to work on the different scenarios. Kamafight is correct - there are only so many ways to describe a sex fight. I think that what keeps the story fresh and interesting are the details of the plot/setting. In my last story, "Duranna", the buildup was about 10 pages before Duranna's opponent, Allanar, even appeared. In that case, I threw in a male/female sex scene about 4-5 pages in, so it wasn't all just set-up, but it was still mostly world-building. (BTW, "Duranna" is almost done and the last part should be up within the next few days). Currently, I'm working on a new story where the buildup is also taking some time. Don't get me wrong: getting to the sex is the key goal of all these stories. But how you get there and -for me- how much you build the suspense is key. That is one of the reasons that I really love kingofdapirate's stories. He is masterful at building and building suspense until his readers are practically tearing out their hair! (Well, speaking for myself). And the payoff is always great. To my mind, nothing is more boring than a sex fight story that does not set up a good scenario. In a previous post, I mentioned how a lot of my stories come from visual inspirations. I find the most exciting part of the process is giving those visual cues a backstory.
BTW, this does not mean that the story has to be overly long or dragged out or that the scenario has to be too detailed. There are lots of short stories (or relatively short stories) that establish their scenario and get into the sex pretty quickly that work wonderfully well. Some of APenman's earlier stories are like this and the first "Beth and Sandra" story is a masterclass in "less is more" in that the scenario is beautifully established and allowed to build on itself until we are allowed to see the erotic showdown that started outside of our view. All of Angeldawn's stories did not waste much time getting down to business (though she played out some confrontations for a while, building suspense) but the world in which these events were happening was well-established.
Anyway, I'm overcomplicating things. All I'm trying to say is that, in my view, the setting/scenario is key to making a story work and, for me as a writer, key to making the story interesting.
JB57
Excellent insights, JB!
And I also agree with you about kingofdapirates. He's an amazing writer/story teller!
AP
Re: How Women Hug Chapter 2
Haha, you all are too kind! Hoping to have a new story out later this week! But forget about that for now. I really enjoyed this whole story! It was super funny and also very hot, an awesome combination that I def want to see more of along with that titfight goodness. Part 3 or no Part 3, it is an exciting ride! Thanks!