That was...... different.
no more here
Last edited by kamafight; January 10th, 2023 at 02:49 AM.
That was...... different.
Wow....just one word....wow....this is the most amazing story I read in recent years....keep it up...I just loved this story....
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I really really loved the way how both characters are equal match in terms of physical traits and mentally, also you kept the rivalry to a softer level and the way they respected each other and the lesbian angle which was "suggestive" while keeping the rivalry intact, keeping the hardcore hatred aside and when in the end the rivals become lovers...can't wait for your next story....
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HI Kama! I really liked this story, especially your writing. Again, for me, not enough actual sex between the women (or depiction thereof) but the setup is excellent and the desciption of their physical contest is very good.
I hope you write more. Your writing style is excellent.
JB57
JB57
HI Kama,
Yes, I think that is evident and you are not necessarily wrong. As I've written before, it is the context of a story that really makes it exciting and interesting and you certainly have that here. In some ways, your story reminded me of Catharsis' Homewrecker (a story that I seem to always reference as a masterpiece of the genre) in that it is mostly focused on the physical contest between the women and only briefly on the sexual aspect. But "Homewrecker" has an element of eroticism spiced by a powerful sexual antagonism that underpins the whole story, to the point where the sexual battle, when it happens, is clearly the culmination of the entire piece. That is not a dynamic at work in your story, where the physical contest gets a lot of attention but the erotic payoff is fairly minimal.
Getting beyond the boring aspect of writing sex scenes is hard. In my stories, as I've written before, I let the scenes play out in my mind and describe what I see there. But, again, the context is what makes it exciting and interesting and if the situation has not led to the point that the sexual aspect is the necessary payoff then it won't work.
Anyway, I do hope to see more of your work.
JB
JB57
I'd have said his story had more in line with the Au Natural series since that was almost entirely focused on the sex with the combative edge being almost an afterthought.
If I had to compare Homewrecker to a more up to date series it would be Titfights Academy, Best friend's sister or Hatred. Though less on the latter since Gradius skips the sex aspect while keeping the eroticism on the downlow.
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