Originally Posted by
Baine
Well where to start. You are not wrong that it comes across as cringey at times but you did it in a manner that seemed as if you were making fun of yourself.
The interaction between Tifa and the new girl seemed a bit rushed, but no more than other stories on the board, but I will admit her being Tifa's sister caught me by surprise. I was expecting something, but not that, so props there.
The fight was HOT! Don't care what others say but the way you did the fight is why I never thought the sister angle would come in. And I'll admit that the build up had me thinking you were going to have Tifa lose and probably win a rematch in a later chapter.
One criticism is that if your going to do chapter this long, maybe intersperse some fights with other characters. If you're going to name them you might as well use them.
Overall 8/10. 8.5 cause I caught the Phineas and Ferb reference.
I've also read a lot of JT Edson. If you like catfights and westerns he's the king.
Bookmarks