Originally Posted by
JB57
Hi Lotus,
I'm surprised no one has commented on your story yet, so I'll be the first. I think it is really good. The writing is excellent and the set-up is very good. The psychological dynamics of the strategies of the two main characters are well-explained. The overall sense of real or potential violence was, for me, a bit of a puzzle. On the one hand, the churning violence under the surface really added a lot to the sense of danger and tension. On the other hand, I don't like very violent conflicts. When Amber and Ryan started fighting, I was relieved that they did not seriously hurt each other. I suppose that my preference is for characters whose lust and desire for physical pleasure overwhelms whatever mutual hate they may feel. The hate spices things up but does not determine the relationship. With this, the hate was more prominent and powerful. I hope this makes sense.
The entire premise reminds me of Morton's "Rhonda's Back in Town." This was one of the last stories that Morton wrote and it was a sequel to one of his earliest stories, "The Gauntlet." In RBIT, Rhonda -who was sexually defeated by Morton's most regular protagonist, Kara - returns to the bar where Kara beat her for a rematch. Rhonda has been away for years and her life has been derailed by the humiliation of losing to Kara as she has pursued aggressive sex with women who resemble Kara. She and Kara go to a mall parking lot and have a violent, but ultimately very sexy, rematch. I won't say how it ends, but the central idea of two women who are both bullies fighting was a common thread through both stories. Once again, I'm saddened by the loss of Morton's work.
Take care,
JB
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